It's 5am somewhere

As a trans woman, I really, really, don't appreciate people acting like they know what it was like for me growing up. Like yeah, I realize that your childhood was like that and I'm sorry that you were treated that way. But don't act like that's how it is for everyone.

I was very much seen as one of the guys growing up. I went to "boys nights" with the guys, which typically consisted of very masculine activities, I had gay cis dudes hit on me, I never once was seen as anything other than a dude.

Guys never once mistreated me, or saw me as anything other than a man. Even through University, I was seen as a man to the point where my University friends were shocked when I came out to them as a trans woman.

I was even treated as "one of the safe ones" all through high school by the girls I hung out with. I had an all female friend group that I hung out with and gossiped with, and was allowed to hang out with them in and out of school, because friendship with me never came with the possibility that I was gonna make things weird and try to fuck them. I showed no interest in dating them and treated them like any other person.

They literally called me a "Girl's guy".

And then there's my husband, who hated being a girl, hated femininity, was bullied by girls growing up, never had any friends aside from a few guys in high school, and was never accepted as a girl by girls.

There is not one true way to be Trans any more than there is one true way to be a man, a woman, or non-binary.

"NO, Imi. You aren't a girl."

Sweetheart, back then I thought i was.

"NO"

Which is to say, gender can't be flattened without losing something. It's a social construct. It's a set of traits linked to secondary sex characteristics. It's a spectrum. It's a Potato Head of expression and performance and identity. It's all of those things and none of them and I'm going to shake it shake it shake it shake it until all the weird stereotypes fall out and then I'm going to EAT IT with GLITTER and KETCHUP.