LapisFucker

Well, it's the same reason why nothing else ever gets fixed in our country: it costs about a thousand bucks. The actual bidet seat thing is not that expensive, but boy howdy is it ever complicated to get an electrical outlet installed. Electricians are afraid of two things: water, and cabinets. A bathroom has both. The only solution is to build a bidet that doesn't need an electrical outlet. That's where we come in.

Sure, a lot of our competitors in the space have talked about using surplus Tesla batteries, or solar energy, or a bicycle pedal you spin to make the electricity required for the robot to spray your bum. Talked about. Nobody's done it, because everyone else is in the pocket of Big Electricity. Why risk getting a lawsuit because someone peed on a lithium-ion battery pack while drunk? Let Consolidated Monopoly worry about the liability.

We're different. For one thing, we are completely uninsurable. Hell, we will shut the company down and start it up as a different anonymous numbered corporation in 24 hours or less at the whiff of any legal action. Most of our board of directors aren't even on the planet. You can't serve a court summons to someone on the international space station.

It is this unique legal position that enables us to be great innovators. Our bad-ass new bidet toilet is powered entirely by radioisotope thermal generators (RTGs if you're savvy.) Yeah. The same shit they put on space probes. If it can keep those suckers warm and powered as they hurtle through the freezing void of space, they can warm up your butt and put a little bit of water up there too. NASA let us have their leftover supply of Plutonium-238 models for real cheap. Just the price of "dressing up like trash disposal people and putting all their shit in a U-Haul truck before they noticed it was gone." That's innovation, too.

Have you guys seen that clip

Josh Johnson: So much of the of the culture, so much of what people like about a culture that they're willing to take in, they try to do as best as possible to the exclusion of the people that the culture is actually from. Right? So, you'll see how people of Latin descent have been treated in this country the entire time while we fall in love with more and more and more and more of their stuff. You know what I mean? And it's something that obviously happens to black people. It's something that's happened to Asian-Americans and everything, but it's something that doesn't always get addressed is that if you loved what we make, then just love us. We made it.