sapphiremidnights

being debilitatingly touch starved is so embarrassing tbh. like ooo look at me im so big and tough and strong unless someone hugs me and then i completely forget how to function. oooo look im extremely anxious about physical contact and im constantly daydreaming about being held. ooooo look even the slightest touch makes me hyperaware of my skin and i'll cry if someone ruffles my hair. oooooo look i cant sleep without hugging a pillow and being buried under a weighted blanket bc im so lonely that it manifests as physical symptoms. like what??? im literally clinically unloved that's so CRINGE ahdjk

Perfect skin doesn’t matter brand names don’t matter grind culture doesn’t matter all that’s important is having a hobby you love and learning to cook vegetables in tasty ways

You can’t deserve a person’s love. You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking like that. They either love you, or they don’t. That doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough for them to love you, because love isn’t something you earn by being good enough. It isn’t something that can be quantified or doled out. Don’t blame yourself for not being loved how you need to, just teach yourself how to look for love where love lives.

This isn’t just about romantic love, or even skewed towards romantic love, although it does apply there too. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to accept is that my mother simply wasn’t someone who was capable of loving me, and there is no version of me that I could have ever been that would have earned that love. But with acceptance came healing. I was able to love myself more instead of resenting myself for not being more than any one person could be.

Are you listening? Even love for yourself isn’t earned. It is a kindness you give yourself.

this is the one art form I genuinely just cannot get my brain to accept as real. I’ve watched sped-up videos of it being done, read about it, seen in-progress marble statues and I still just can’t get it to sink in or stick. My mind doesn’t want to believe that any person has ever been able to start with a big block and break little bits off of it until it looks like a finely detailed person. At some point it has no recognizable shape and they still know where and how deep they should take a chip out of it that’ll still be the right decision 50,000 fucking chips later?!?

maintaining friendships is so hard when your mind is constantly telling you that you’re annoying and unwanted