An original characterisation including themes of: the attempt (and sometimes failure) of personal evolution, power as a performance, childhood trauma, fear of vulnerability, deciding your own destiny, a dragon in human form, sharp suits with a sharper tongue, the smartest and most tired person in the room, chess master with a fractured board, the prodigy who never got the chance to be a child, holographic legacy, count your blessings on one hand and your curses on the other, he ain't heavy; he's my brother, the one thing in life he can control, inimitable and original, you are your own worst enemy
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Memes and Starters - always accepting even if it's from 6 years ago or yesterday
Inside and out, he's better than I am: @littlestkaiba
The rarest cards (relations / associates / the people who see Seto as Seto): @droplct , @heartoftheyugi , @hobomagician , @lightxdcrk , @stardstschlar , more tba
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Indisputably THE most iconic Magic & Wizards card. This is the original version of what is likely the most well-known card in the entire overall Yu-Gi-Oh! series.
Nonetheless, I still struggled with whether or not to include it in my project. After all, every copy we know of belongs to either Grandpa Sugoroku Mutou or Seto Kaiba, not Yugi.
By the way- the left card in the second image shows what the layout of the original chapter 9 ("The Cards with Teeth, Part 1") version of this card looks like. You can think of it as Grandpa's card, if you'd like.
Neither of them represent Kaiba's cards. The three below are his:
These cards have the very first, original colorscheme for 'ol Blue-Eyes (no not Frank Sinatra) as it was seen throughout the entire Weekly Shonen Jump run of Yu-Gi-Oh!. The other, bluer colorscheme is taken from the 2016 color bunkobon edition, where the illustration was recolored to match the first art given to it by Konami. I'll give you an in-depth visual history regarding that under the cut.
So why add Blue-Eyes to my project? Well, Dark Yugi used this card at least 2 times:
-In chapter 10, "The Cards with Teeth, Part 2", Dark Yugi takes control of Kaiba's stolen Blue-Eyes with "Resurrection of the Dead", uses it to defeat Kaiba, and holds onto it until he's able to give the stolen card back to Yugi's Grandpa the next day.
-In chapter 74, "Messenger from Hell", Seto Kaiba's deck has been stolen by Industrial Illusion goons and given to a player killer called the Ventriloquist of the Dead. The Ventriloquist is subsequently sent to duel Yugi and knock him out of the Duelist Kingdom tournament.
At the climax of that duel in chapter 76, "The Legendary Dragon!!", Dark Yugi once again brings a dead Blue-Eyes back via "Resurrection of the Dead", bolsters its attack with "Holy Elf"'s special ability, and uses it to defeat the Ventriloquist.
Yugi then goes on to hold on to Kaiba's stolen deck (including all of his Blue-Eyes cards) until later that night, when Kaiba shows up; pretty much the first thing Yugi does is give Kaiba his deck back.
So Yugi does take possession of all four different copies of this card, although not for more than roughly 8-12 hours each time it happens.
Ultimately, I decided that given this card's iconic status, it was worth including in my project. Though it's never directly part of any of Yugi's decks, Blue-Eyes is such a vital part of the series' identity that I felt I'd be remiss not to include it.
There's a lot more to say about Yu-Gi-Oh!'s most famous card. Check out this card's color artwork history, ancient past, and possible original Magic: the Gathering inspiration under the cut!
Among manga fans, it's pretty well-known that Kaiba got his own three "Blue-Eyes White Dragons" by downright criminal means.
Panel sequence from chapter 27, "Project Start!!".
This reflects Kaiba's villainous characterization at the time of this arc. A big step up from his original appearance as a mere greedy and underhanded student!
(By the way, this aspect of the cards is still actively referred to during the Duelist Kingdom arc, where one of Kaiba's Blue-Eyes cards is shown bearing English text in the Japanese version: )
From chapter 103, "Hang in There!!".
From chapter 103, "Hang in There!!".
From Chapter 75, "The Cards Bare Their Teeth".
In contrast, Grandpa got his copy because of his close bonds with an unnamed American friend. Really puts Kaiba's actions into perspective, doesn't it.
In an interview at the end of "Yu-Gi-Oh! Character Guidebook: The Gospel of Truth", author Kazkui Takahashi heavily implies that Grandpa's American friend got his copy of Blue-Eyes thanks to his connection with Magic & Wizards creator Pegasus J. Crawford! An absolutely wild lore nugget I wish he'd been able to sneak into the series proper.
Like all other Magic & Wizards cards, "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" is secretly descended from ancient stone tablets imbued with Ka (soul power) extracted from magically-capable humans. The original version of Blue-Eyes, specifically, is Kisara's Ka/Ba. In this series, Ka is thought of as a spiritual representation of a person's soul essence and Ba is their life force. (This a very fictionalized and very fanciful take on real ancient Egyptian beliefs about the concept of a 'soul'.)
Two-page spread from chapter 310, "Awakening of the White Dragon!!".
Kisara was notable because her Ka and Ba were intertwined in a very unusual way. The result of this was that her Ka was the most powerful of them all; but the cost was that her Ka could only be unleashed when Kisara was unconscious.
Kisara's latent powers were desired by the dark god Zorc Necrophades and his disciple Akhenaden. Only Akhenaden's son, High Priest Set, stood in their way, as he'd fallen in love with the mortal Kisasa.
Unfortunately, a Zorc-possessed Akenaden murdered Kisara in an attempt to steal her power.
With her dying breath, Kisara dedicated her spirit power to protect Set for all of time.
Panel sequence from chapter 334, "The Survivors!!".
In fact, there are many moments in the series that suggest that Kisara's spirit, through the "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" card, still acts as a sort of guide and guardian for Set's descendant Kaiba. This is true even in the Takahashi-authored post-manga two-parter Transcend Game.
But let's shift our attention back to the card now.
Time to show off visuals of this card's original color scheme. During the manga's weekly run, this card showed up in color an amazing six times- that's three more times than the next most seen color card!- and it stayed pretty consistent throughout.
Promotional image for Yu-Gi-Oh!, date unknown. Scan taken from the back of "Yu-Gi-Oh! 3-in-1 Volumes 1-2-3".
This promo image has been associated with the series for quite some time. I couldn't track down an exact debut date on this one, but the oldest usage of it I can find has it appearing in the 24 June 1997 issue of Weekly Shonen Jump, #30. And its appearance there seems to indicate that it might predate that issue- meaning that "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" likely had an official card colorscheme established before the debut of "Black Magician"!
Scan of the cover of "Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist", volume 3; originally seen on "Yu-Gi-Oh!" volume 10, released 2 October 1998. Image sourced from Yugipedia; click here to see it in its original context.
As of the Duelist Kingdom arc, we see that the card is pretty close to its first color appearance.
Image from chapter 104, "Crisis!!", originally released 2 November 1998 in Weekly Shonen Jump #49.
The above image is a low-resolution placeholder. I'll replace it with a better quality image once my personal copy of this issue arrives. My apologies!
That said, while this image isn't great you can still tell that things haven't changed.
Scan from "Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters Official Card Game: Official Card Catalog: The Valuable Book 4", released 25 January 2002. Original version of this image was released on 18 October 1999 in Weeky Shonen Jump, #47.
This was the first color page seen for the Battle City arc, and you'll notice that the "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" card's gotten a slight update here. Its illustration border is now yellowish-orange instead of an uncolored white!
Scan from the back of "Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist", volume 19. Originally appeared on the cover of Weekly Shonen Jump #41, released 11 September 2000.
Sadly, Viz's touchup of this version of the art made it fairly washed out. So note that in the original Weekly Shonen Jump version of this image, the Blue-Eyes illustration has blue-toned shading just like all other depictions of this card.
Scan from the cover of "Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist", volume 14; originally seen in "Yu-Gi-Oh!" volume 21, released 2 November 2000. Image sourced from Yugipedia; click here to see it in its original context.
A bigger view of the card (or rather the hologram form thereof). The Blue-Eyes card illustration is pretty much settled by this point.
As you can see, Takahashi stuck to his vision of what he wanted the "Blue-Eyes White Dragon" card to look like throughout the entire run. The only small changes made between its first appearance and its last appearance are the color and size of its illustration's frame!
About this card's inspiration.
For a long time, despite being one of the first few Magic & Wizards cards to show up in the manga, I wasn't sure if this card had an original Magic: the Gathering card inspiration.
In fact, I was almost content to believe that the card was wholly original. Then I found out about the card below thanks to a random Reddit comment, believe it or not! Check it out:
Chromium, from Magic: the Gathering Legends, released on 1 June 1994. Image sourced from scrycall.com.
Now you know the secret origins of this absolute titan of the series!
Come back tomorrow for the start of my coverage of the cards introduced in the Pharaoh's Memories arc! 'Til then!
"Oh no. No, you are not playing the card of saying forget about it. I am not going to stand here, try and communicate with you to your advise, and have you say 'forget it' when I am not giving you the answers you are expecting me to."
What did they do? Be the bane of his existence? Wanting to win fairly for once with either or both men? Preach about working together and being 'friends' and that it's stronger when there's more brains at work or some bullshit like that?
It dawned on him after a moment when he sees Jotaro's struggle for the words and the way his face shifted. Oh. Oh. Something in his chest crumbled when he saw the other man beginning to walk away from him. No...no...no he's not going to lose him. Not after this. Not after finally talking about the shit he has been through.
He takes a step as he grabs Jotaro's lower arm. Kaiba takes in a sharp breath in and out before he speaks. "Do not walk away from me." His voice catches on the me as he looks at the back of the other's head. "Jotaro..." His name did not taste like the bitterness or the ash or the sand or the loss and grief or the heat. "Stay. If you think that there was anything...anything between myself and either of them." His hand tightens slightly on the arm. "I would not have--I would not have wanted this to happen."
Jotaro hadn't expected for the hand to grasp his arm. It made him tense for a moment before he relaxed, hearing the sharp breath intake. He'd expected the other to stop him, hearing the words moments ago which had gotten him to stop first. And then it was the grip on his lower arm that had him pausing entirely.
Just as he was getting used to the touch, it's the next thing that Kaiba says that catches him completely off guard. He doesn't turn around, but he listens, and he lets the words sink in for a moment before he finally does turn around to face the brunette. Teals swimming with unsaid things - things that he wanted to say and yet not say. Things that would make him vulnerable, and perhaps he needed to be just as vulnerable as the other had been.
Whatever this was, Jotaro wasn't certain. All he knew was that he wanted to be in this man's life - that he wanted something that couldn't quite be named just yet. Was he afraid? Sure as hell he was afraid to open up.
Silently he reached up to grasp the CEO's hand, his grip firm but gentle. "Whatever your relationship is to them...it doesn't matter." The Joestar responded, voice gruff, low even. "Words will never come easily for me, they never have." His gaze shifts focus to the other man's features, "Sometimes, I say things before I think. So it might piss you off a bit. But..." He pauses glancing down at their hands, "if something I say does end up setting you off, tell me."
That wasn't all he wanted to say, but it was what he was going to end that with, giving the hand a gentle squeeze. He wouldn't push for anymore than what was given to him today. "I won't ask for anything more, not when you've already told me so much."
Sapphire eyes met the teals. They weren’t as hardened as they were in the beginning of this conversation. Not quite as soft either but just present and there and focused on the Joestar. Just only on him.
“I am aware,” Kaiba spoke softly. “I will let you know if anything you have said set me off. I expect the same form of respect as well if I say anything that sets you off.”
His eyes flicker to the squeeze of his hand as his grip eased against Jotaro’s arm as he slowly withdrew his hand, their fingers brushed slightly as he pulled and set the hand back at his side again. “I am not…the easiest person to talk to. I am well aware that I cannot open up as easy as people expect of me. I give you my word that if you want to ask questions about the whole ordeal, I will give you my honest perspective and answers.”
He was only just now aware of how ridiculous his question sounded. Shit. Okay. Now he's only going to be frustrated with himself. "Forget I asked." The frustration was there, though, it wasn't quite as heavy as he'd expected it to come across. And that was okay. Jotaro remains still for the moment while he works his mind to reword how he wanted to question this, how to not come across as pushy. Shaking his head, the Joestar's expression shifted into a scowl then he shoved his hands into his pockets.
Why the fuck were emotions so damn complicated? It would have just been better if he'd said 'fuck it's and walked away. It would have been better if he hadn't cared at all, but he did. He cared about this man more than he would ever outright admit, cared more about his well being to the point he was feeling...protective? Pissed off, maybe? He didn't know.
"Just--" He stopped himself after the upteenth time. Releasing a breath, he shakes his head again, "I meant, what did they do - other than beat you in a game, for you to have this reaction?" It wasn't just about card games at this point, he figured. It was something deeper, something that was buried. When that question had come out, Jotaro immediately scowled once more and then he mumbles 'forget it.' and begins to wake away from the other man.
"Oh no. No, you are not playing the card of saying forget about it. I am not going to stand here, try and communicate with you to your advise, and have you say 'forget it' when I am not giving you the answers you are expecting me to."
What did they do? Be the bane of his existence? Wanting to win fairly for once with either or both men? Preach about working together and being 'friends' and that it's stronger when there's more brains at work or some bullshit like that?
It dawned on him after a moment when he sees Jotaro's struggle for the words and the way his face shifted. Oh. Oh. Something in his chest crumbled when he saw the other man beginning to walk away from him. No...no...no he's not going to lose him. Not after this. Not after finally talking about the shit he has been through.
He takes a step as he grabs Jotaro's lower arm. Kaiba takes in a sharp breath in and out before he speaks. "Do not walk away from me." His voice catches on the me as he looks at the back of the other's head. "Jotaro..." His name did not taste like the bitterness or the ash or the sand or the loss and grief or the heat. "Stay. If you think that there was anything...anything between myself and either of them." His hand tightens slightly on the arm. "I would not have--I would not have wanted this to happen."
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Yuugi Mutou - that name he'd heard a few times when Seto was teaching the game, when the brunette was working on a new system or something to that extent. But just...what was their relationship? And this Pharaoh Atem, or something or other. He's heard of pharaohs and Egyptian royalty. And he distinctly remembers the mention of millenium items, but for it to be this? It was just another thing to add to his list of 'what the fuck' moments. Another sharp pang rang through his chest, another reason to close himself off to the other. Yes, he'd wanted the brunette to talk to him, to let everything out and tell him the story.
He didn't think he'd feel like this after saying so.
"What did they do, specifically?" Yuugi was Kaiba's rival, the...spirit? he'd been a rival as well. Jotaro understands that he has come into the picture late, but for some reason he was feeling a pang each time they were brought up. Something had to have happened for Kaiba to be so determined in facing a dead man. It wasn't impossible to do, just a pain in the ass.
A sharp eyebrow raised at the other man over the question. “What do you mean what did they do?” He asked a bit incredulously. What was the other expecting? "They wanted to play heroes and save the world, they dueled, they have beaten me a few times though I have one once against them during Duelist Kingdom." Not his finest moment, but he couldn't be the only person in this universe who played and won the way that he did.
Something within his chest made his heart twist, tug and pull. It's the next sentence that has the Joestar questioning just how deep this really goes. While anyone else would have called this insanity, Jotaro had seen it as a need. A deep rooted need to fulfill something that was missing - that was just out of reach. Trying to prove that he was - and still is, something in this world. While he didn't quite know the extent of what brought that to fruition, the biologist would hold off the questions. For now, that was.
The taller had stayed still, keeping his gaze on the other and remained quiet until Seto was finished. He was curious to know more about this person and the partner, but there was a small concern that maybe asking about them might be stepping over bounds. Jotaro, though, needed to know. It would help explain a bit about this, and perhaps it might help the other a bit more as well. "Who was he?" He questioned, his voice was low but it was a quiet question. "And his partner?"
"His partner is Yuugi Mutou. I think I have mentioned him a few times in passing. Smaller man with multi-coloured hair, helps run the Kame Game Shop with his grandfather, and has earned the rightful title to be 'The King of Games' in terms of the dueling world. Essentially, he is my actual rival and if I want to earn the title to be rightfully mind I would have to face him in a regulated title championship." His tone did not betray much. Over the years, he and Yuugi had a semi-understandable association with each other. He begrudgingly has helped him on occasion and while Kaiba kept him at an arms length, the whole ordeal that did occur and the aftermath did help bridge something.
"However, the person I sought after to win against in a duel was Pharoah Atem." He can't remember the last time he said the name aloud. It still have a taste of sand and ash and smoke and heat behind it. It burned on the back of his tongue. "He was a ruler in Ancient Egypt though he is not within the current history books. The details were a bit unclear but from what I witnessed and gathered, he had his name and his general existence erased to save the world. There are carvings of him but there is no name attached."
When Seto finally began speaking Jotaro had made sure that the CEO had his full attention. Blacked out? A coma? Just what the hell did this man create to put himself into a week long coma? Those were questions that he would ask later, right now his main focus had been to show Kaiba that he had someone listening. And damn it all; he was going to listen. The one thing that the brunette had said, and he should have expected was that he was trying to build a machine to access memories - break the wall and static.
Granted, this wasn't as farfetched as it could have sounded. Once the other had finished, the Joestar had contemplated on what he could add to this conversation. His companion was intelligent - a genius, in fact, that he could create such a mechanism to do the unthinkable. His grandfather's uncle; Robert Speedwagon, was also quite intelligent in that he'd created what the world had known today as prosethics. It started out as a mechanical device, providing the functions of an actual, live hand - in a way. Excluding the nerves, blood vessels, veins, etc. That was back in the 30's. "It's...It doesn't sound so much as crazy as it does impossible." The scientist responds after some time, "It scares people, to do the impossible." And Kaiba had gone against everyone that had said it sounded like insanity.
Kaiba took a deep breath in and out. Maybe he does need to rip the bandaid off. The generalisation can’t be enough especially when the part of him does trust Jotaro. The biologist was one of the handful if that as to who he trusts which was built over the time they’ve known each other. And Mokuba did mention that if he said stuff aloud, it may be able to help him out.
“He’s dead.” There’s a flash deep within his eyes. Grief, perhaps? Jealously? While he was there to witness the final duel, it wasn’t enough. It could never be enough. He could remember breathing in some sand, the heat of it all, the weight of every step, and then finally seeing him after six months would have been worth it..right? “I went to Egypt, to the site where he had his Puzzle, I excavated every single piece I could find sans one. I built a space station where I reconstructed it and AI and virtual reality duel simulators. I made his partner duel me to get the last piece. I used another item and was able to launch via my space station elevator and I went into the afterlife to duel him one more time. To finally beat him, to best him, for once in my life.”
Jotaro wasn't certain, but the moment things had escalated his brain immediately said 'protect.' Even if that meant he was needling, in a way, he was trying to protect the other from hurting himself; in a way. The CEO's words pulled the scientist from his mind in the moment, teals searching the man's expression and sapphire pools for anything amiss. When he found nothing his grip on the other's wrist had loosened, the touch had helped in getting the taller male relax, even.
Kaiba was still close, but that was okay. One thing the Joestar was noticing is that the man was calming down. The fact that the elder Kaiba was debating in even saying anything was step forward, at least in Jotaro's opinion. There was a point in time when this would have been a pain in the ass step that he would have refused to take. But here they were.
There's a sigh that leaves the ravenette as he reaches up, out of habit, to tug on the cap. "Start where you're comfortable with. I'll listen." That was something his therapist had told him and he now was telling the CEO. It was a way to let the other know he was there for the long haul - that he was there to be a sounding board and not judge.
Starting where he's comfortable? How could he even start that? Kaiba was a genius. His intellect has been well documented and it shows in every action he has done, every invention created, every step within his life of being the CEO and dueling champion. While he knows Jotaro would listen, there's this...vice-grip like voice that says what if he doesn't actually listen to him? That he would easily laugh or dismiss him or that he was actually insane than a genius.
"The generalisation is that I went to fight one of my rivals in a duel and I blacked out as soon as I activated my duel disk. I was in a coma for about a week once I was recovered in Domino." That was simple. Didn't sound so insane. Minus the whole factor of what initially caused that, what he did in Egypt, what led him to build a space station, and the fact he was could have been clinically dead by doing this. "What I have been doing is trying to build a machine to access memories, break the wall and the static, to find out the outcome of it. And maybe this is all just a getting what I deserve and I can never know those answers. However, I was going to try it regardless."
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There it was again - that movement he felt moments ago.
Fluttering.
What the flying fuck? It was slightly frustrating as to why or what he was feeling. The fact he'd just said that he wanted the other to talk more, that was such an out of place thing for the Joestar. Swallowing back the emotions once again, the ravenette listens; keeping his gaze on the other to show that he was paying attention. Another rare thing, especially when it came to people because people just drained him endlessly.
He tilts his head and snickers, knowing fully well that he's been down the same road of being hammered for his birth date. Wanting to know the signs and all of that shit - he wasn't interested. He was of the same mind of telling people he was an Aquarius, and people could deal with that. "It's no one's business." Jotaro replies in kind, shrugging his shoulders. That was his thought; it wasn't anyone's business, other than those that the CEO wanted to know. He would tell them if he so chose to. That was completely up to him. "You could always tell everyone to fuck off, you know."
Not in the 'I know I'm better than you'. Not in the 'you are absolutely ridiculous and a waste of my time'. Not in a sarcastic, needing to move along the point of the joke. He just found it both funny and obvious that Jotaro would instantly say about telling people to fuck off. It catches him off guard because he can't truly remember the last time he laugh aloud like that. Mokuba maybe in the privacy of their penthouse. But not in a semi-public space.
"Tell you what: You become a ranked Duelist and then a CEO of a company. Sit down for a magazine cover issue and have them ask you about the astrological bull. Tell them to fuck off. I can guarantee you it would not be good for anyone involved." And the media / public relations training has gotten the CEO to say that to most people without the words involved.
“Take my arm. We have to look convincing.” - from Vex'halia @magicflcre
He had to do a double take when he realised he was being talked to. Sapphire eyes went to the person standing in front of him and at the arm stretched to him to take. "Convincing?" Kaiba asked with a scoff. "You are speaking to a stranger to take an arm and you want it to be 'convincing'? Not just any stranger but," Eyes shift to the window where right on cue Kaiba's face and his standard trench coat were on screen playing an advertisement about the latest Duel Disk software update. It helped getting the word out. "The same stranger who has been known to own the city."
A soft snort leaves the man when the brunette says that there are those who believe he'd spoken too much. Jotaro wouldn't know, if he's honest. The other has spoken mostly on what he likes and what he knows - which the Joestar can admit; he's done the same and sort of felt like he was just babbling. Teals go to the brunette when he's prompted about what should be talked about; a grin forms upon his face. It was that question, though, that prompted the feeling from before in his gut to return once more. Was this - Was this what people called 'flirting'?
Fuck if he didn't know.
"Tell me more about the constellations. Or, your game. Anything." He wasn't entirely picky, because all he wanted to hear was this man's voice. Was that such a bad thing? It was certainly not something he would ever admit aloud.
It was the moment when Kaiba saw more of Jotaro's face break into a grin. His eyes studied the teals lighting up in the evening sky as they went down to his lips and lingered there for a moment too long before going back up. He felt something in his chest at the sight of it. The way his supposed heart lurch and something in his gut felt a bit too warm, too pleasant. Was it attraction? Was it now the slightest form of need to see that grin whenever possible? Was it...the want to maybe go a bit closer and see it more for himself and maybe to feel it against his skin?
Get a grip.
"There's 88 known constellations in the hemisphere. Twelve, and in some cases thirteen, have been used in terms of the zodiac and astrology bullshit. That wherever your birthday sits, you are given a constellation and then that is supposed to be an overview of who you are as a person if you believe in that. Some will use their main 'sign' and others will go into extensive research and you might have four other signs attached to your name due to location of birth and time of birth. I have gotten...pressed in interviews to give more of that information which I refuse to indulge in. They can just deal with the fact that I am a 'Scorpio' and leave it alone."
It took everything within Jotaro not to roll his eyes at the lack of the use of said word. But then again; he didn't understand Seto's reason behind it and probably wouldn't for a long while - at least until the CEO was ready to even say anything to him. The biologist hadn't needed to say anything in the moment as the other had taken a step back, his grip had slowly loosened against the lapel of his jacket.
He would never push Kaiba to bring up all of the unwanted emotions, to bring up everything that he'd buried so deep that it was too much to deal with. God only knows that Jotaro would have had the same reaction, if someone had told him the exact same thing. In fact; had their roles been reversed: Jotaro probably wouldn't have held himself back. But as it was, he was trying to be a better person - better for himself, and for those around him.
This meant that he was giving the duelist an opportunity that is so rarely presented to him. From an outsider looking in, of course.
He remembers his therapist telling him, when he'd said he didn't deal with trauma, that it was all denial. That he was in denial because he didn't want to be seen as weak. He remembers sneering at the woman, ready to tell her to pound sand with that assessment. It wasn't until she'd pointed out certain things he'd done that had led up to the fact that he was, in fact, dealing with trauma - and PTSD.
"I won't question you about things, won't push you to say anything further." Jotaro says as he straightens himself out, "Because I know that if that had happened to me, I would have sent someone flying." Teals gaze upon the CEO, while his features may have been blank, his eyes said something entirely different.
“I’m still debating on whether I should.” As he was beginning to calm down and steel himself once again, Kaiba was feeling a weight of exhaustion creeping through. And for hitting someone like Jotaro wasn’t going to end up well for either of them or may ruin whatever this is happening between us.
And he would be damned if he somehow loses the biologist.
His fingers still eased up on Jotaro’s coat as his other hand went over the hand still on his wrist. He lingered on the skin for an extra moment, a heartbeat, before he got himself out of the grip. He was still close, now a second step away from the taller man as he also straighten himself out as well.
“The sentiment is appreciated,” He murmured as he catches the teal eyes again. “I wouldn’t fully know where to begin with all of this and my latest venture if you do want to listen to me talk about it.”
Jotaro had remained silent though, he didn't hide his surprise at the CEO's words. And it was exactly the same way Kakyoin had explained it, which was why he was so surprised to begin with. Closing his eyes, the Joestar released a huff, only to shift and slip his hands into his pockets. He would never admit to it, though, that he thoroughly enjoyed learning from other people. Perhaps, it was as Avdol had said at one point: it was important to learn things from those around you. Even if you never see them again, or if they stay within your life for a long time.
He didn't know why, but each time Kaiba spoke, his heart fluttered lightly. His stomach was doing things that he didn't even think possible, if he were honest. Taking a breath, the ravenette shifts his gaze towards the other male, "You should talk more." Was that his way of saying 'i like your voice, keep talking'?
Kaiba's eyes were remained on the star above them. The smirk on his lips quirked a bit upwards. One could classify it as a smile and he will sue you if you call it as such. It was over being told to talk more from the Joestar beside him. "The sentiment is appreciated," He said, his voice catching ever so slightly but he steeled himself before one could potentially notice. "There's a list of characters who say that I do talk too much and a few who say I don't talk enough. But I suppose since tonight is a special occasion, I can talk a bit more."
His eyes go to the biologist. "What would you like for me to talk about then?"
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Jotaro would have already punched him through a wall at this point. Thankfully, he hadn't allowed the emotions to get so out of control to the point that he would have hauled off. The other big thing here was that Star Platinum would come in defense of Jotaro's being - and that wasn't something he wanted the other to experience. He was grown, he'd learned how to shift his anger in a way that it would be tolerable to taper off.
The first at his side had eventually unrolled, letting his hand hang there. While he may not understand the circumstances or the situation itself, the Joestar had known trauma like no tomorrow. Deep down, neither one of them wanted to hurt the other, because if that was the case then he knew that Kaiba would have already tried to do so as well.
That was just how they both worked.
Funny how things had come to be, wasn't it?
Lowering his head so that his hat covered his gaze, his grip on the hand loosened only a fragment. "Yeah. I would have already done so." The biologist agrees, his voice gruff - hoarse, maybe? He wasn't certain.
But what he does know is that it takes him a minute to work his brain in the way that it needed to be. To work the words in the order that he wanted them to come out. "You may never get the answers you seek." He should know. He's done this for the last ten years now, wondering why it was that he survived the Cairo ordeal and yet; Kakyoin and Avdol hadn't. He spent ten years searching for why there was so much hatred held towards his great-great grandfather.
And ten years in finding answers in how to keep those he cared for safe.
"You can insult me all you want, but you're not the only one who has gone through trauma." It was his way of saying 'i understand the hurt,' and though while he didn't fully know how deep Kaiba's issues had gone - he didn't know all of his past; he certainly knew what it was to feel angry, frustrated and even exhausted.
"Tell me so that I can understand, so that you can get it off of your shoulders."
Had the adrenaline and fight seeped out of him? Yeah, it sure as hell had. Jotaro didn't know why he wanted to help so much. Perhaps, it was because he cared more about this man than he dared admit to himself.
Kaiba could have done anything. He could have swung at Jotaro as well. He could have moved his hand closer to his throat or he could have shoved him into the nearest wall or doorframe. He wasn't the type to have a visceral reaction. He wasn't made to show his emotions to anyone within his life. The only exception was, and always will be, Mokuba. And even then there have been times where he didn't do that. But what good would it do? Sure, his anger would have gotten released in action. But there was something about what Jotaro told him in their first times of meeting about the Strand of it all.
Slowly, his fingers began to loosen against the lapel of the jacket as he took a step backwards creating the start of distance between them.
"I don't deal with...with that," Kaiba couldn't say the word trauma aloud. Not only with the dimension debacle but with everything that has happened up to this point of his life. It was on a list of words that he didn't dare to say aloud to anyone around him. Trauma, friendship, partner, failure, losing, grief. They weren't supposed to be in his vocabulary to begin with. And yet, despite it all, he found himself having the capability to want to talk to the taller man about this. That was annoying in of itself.
He looked at the biologist's teal eyes, studying him. He can tell that he meant it about talking to him, to have him understand, to share this. He doesn't know if he can.
Had he been younger, again, this all would have set him off immediately. It was the bark of laughter, and then the the very last statement of 'you would never get it' that finally made something within the Joestar snap. To hell with holding back, if Kaiba wanted him to throw him across the room, he will. He was done playing the game, now it was time to get down and dirty.
Raising a hand he grasped at the hand holding onto his lapel - fingers curling, the grip tight around the slender wrist. "I may not understand, but it seems that your mind is too stupid to realize that I am trying to be understanding." The words were said, a mix of a growl along with the hidden anger mingling within. His grip around the wrist tightens as he squeeze to get the fingers to unfurl, "I have half a mind to tell you 'fuck off.' But I won't." No. No he wasn't going to allow himself to do that.
Not when the situation would escalate further from the rile.
Believe it or not; Kaiba had no idea what he himself had been through. What that damned trip had done to him; mentally, emotionally, physically. What that bastard DIO was doing to him beyond the grave: tormenting him in his dreams, staying within his mind just to say 'i'm still here.' No. He may not understand what Kaiba's deal was, but he was willing to listen.
"You can either step back now, or have a knuckle sandwich. Which one do you want?"
"How dare you stand here and call my mind stupid?" Kaiba spat out through his teeth as his grip tightened impossibly further against the the jacket. To insult his mind, genius, intellect was one of the worst things a person can say to him. Kaiba's mind had been through literal hell and back. It taken years to get it back to where it is now and he intends on keeping it that way. How would he ever understand it? And to say it aloud would maybe make him seem insane to the average person.
He has taken down plenty of other people in his past. If Jotaro was, unfortunately, ending up on that list then so be it then. He didn't wince in any form of pain when he felt the biologist's fingers tighten against his wrist.
Not the worst form of pain he has endured when it boiled down to it.
"If that fist of yours was going to go swinging," His eyes finally leave Jotaro's face to the free hand at his side before glaring back up at him. "You do seem the type that would have done it moments ago. At least from the impression I have gathered from you." The part of him, tiny as it was, did not want to push him. He wanted to let it go. He wanted to just tell the other man to stay out of his way for once and let him handle it even if he came out of it more scathed than he would like to admit.
