almost every person i've met has told me that i look strict, intimidating, or like someone who is hard to approach.
every time i hear that, a part of me feels relieved because maybe that's the image that protects me.
but another part of me feels sad because that's not really who i am.
there are less than two people, three including you, who actually know how soft i can be.
i'm someone who cries a lot. i'm someone who gets emotional very easily. i get sad over people i don't even know. i get attached to little things. i feel bad for objects that don't even have life. i've always been this sensitive.
but most of my life, i was taught that being this soft was stupid and that it was a weakness. so i learned how to hide it.
i learned how to act a certain way because i didn't want my softness to become something someone could use against me.
even in my past relationships, there were times when my feelings were laughed at or taken lightly, and i remember feeling like maybe i was just too much for feeling the way i did.
but i never stopped being this person.
i'm still goofy. i'm still sentimental. i'm still romantic. i'm still the person who gets excited about little things and loves deeply.
i just haven't always felt safe enough to show that side of me.
so my love, i hope that with you, i can finally be that person without being afraid.
i hope i can cry in front of you without feeling embarrassed.
i hope you notice the small changes in my voice when i'm trying not to cry and just hold my hand.
i want to laugh with you. i want to be silly with you. i want to cry with you. i want us to be two soft people who don't have to pretend to be stronger than we are.
i think a part of me has always been waiting for someone who will look at all this softness and not call it a weakness.
someone who will see it and say,
"i love this part of you too."
