no longer here

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Person on A03 who’s writing for fun:

you: jean having delusions makes them BAD FOREVER even though i’m TOTALLY INNOCENT and holding me accountable IS illegal

also you: *puts this guilt trippy shit in my inbox*

y'all are spreading misinformation about me and the server, including out of context screenshots. i’m not saying that i can’t be held accountable for my actions.

i have never implied that jeans delusions make them “bad forever”, their posts were causing other people to have delusions and breakdowns.

i do genuinely believe that i’m a shitty person, so it wasn’t guilt tripping. it’s a genuine belief.

i blocked jean because i was scared of being on the recieving end of this again. i’ve already had anons who know where i live make threats on my life and my animals. i’m fucking terrified of popular bloggers calling me out.

i don’t apologise in the conventional way because i was forced to so much that i literally cannot stand it anymore. i try to apologise in other ways but when shit keeps happening to trigger me i literally can’t keep on a high.

i’m seriously so tired of being the enemy in these situations and not being given a chance to defend myself before there’s a new wave of people out to get me.

im really, really sorry you’re dealing with those creeps. i really am. i honestly hope you can seek legal action without repercussions, or do anything else to protect yourself. i am not bullshitting, i promise. i do not particularly like you, but seriously, u dont deserve that.

i understand the apology thing, too. sort of. online i dont apologize as much but irl is a different story, so i guess its the opposite side of the coin? apologies are a sore point with many trauma survivors regardless. but u still need to openly acknowledge ur actions when they hurt others.

but. maybe… if u often find urself as The Enemy…… u should consider Why people feel that way without defaulting to “i’m a shit person”. theres a reason why people are genuinely upset w ur actions. ur allowed to fuck up without being a bad person, but saying “well im just a shit person” instead of working to improve yourself isnt gonna help u, the people u talk to, or anyone. 

i genuinely dont know what 2 say here other than that i hope u can see a good therapist, i dont hate you, i dont see u as evil, and i hope to god that ur staying safe. 

the police did nothing about the anon because, although the harassment had been going on for years, there had been no threats to my life made in four months. they refused to investigate, i still get messages from them occasionally.

i’ve been trying to seek mental help since i was 14, and still have not managed to get through the system. i am seriously trying to better myself and fix the way that i react to and think about things, but there’s only so much i can do when people label me as “high functioning” and “not a danger” and then push me off.

i’ve been waiting on a referral for a pd diagnosis since february, i have heard nothing since i went through days of calling different numbers because i was referred to a clinic that doesn’t exist.

i dont discuss this much bc i dont want to seem like im “flexing” or w/e but trust me when i say any donation will not impact my quality of life. something that helped me when i was waiting on a bullshit beauracracy to actually help me was being up front and threatening a lawsuit. if youve documented evidence, compile it, and report that shit to the fuckin fbi. 

do you have insurance? 

you: jean having delusions makes them BAD FOREVER even though i’m TOTALLY INNOCENT and holding me accountable IS illegal

also you: *puts this guilt trippy shit in my inbox*

y'all are spreading misinformation about me and the server, including out of context screenshots. i’m not saying that i can’t be held accountable for my actions.

i have never implied that jeans delusions make them “bad forever”, their posts were causing other people to have delusions and breakdowns.

i do genuinely believe that i’m a shitty person, so it wasn’t guilt tripping. it’s a genuine belief.

i blocked jean because i was scared of being on the recieving end of this again. i’ve already had anons who know where i live make threats on my life and my animals. i’m fucking terrified of popular bloggers calling me out.

i don’t apologise in the conventional way because i was forced to so much that i literally cannot stand it anymore. i try to apologise in other ways but when shit keeps happening to trigger me i literally can’t keep on a high.

i’m seriously so tired of being the enemy in these situations and not being given a chance to defend myself before there’s a new wave of people out to get me.

im really, really sorry you’re dealing with those creeps. i really am. i honestly hope you can seek legal action without repercussions, or do anything else to protect yourself. i am not bullshitting, i promise. i do not particularly like you, but seriously, u dont deserve that.

i understand the apology thing, too. sort of. online i dont apologize as much but irl is a different story, so i guess its the opposite side of the coin? apologies are a sore point with many trauma survivors regardless. but u still need to openly acknowledge ur actions when they hurt others.

but. maybe… if u often find urself as The Enemy…… u should consider Why people feel that way without defaulting to “i’m a shit person”. theres a reason why people are genuinely upset w ur actions. ur allowed to fuck up without being a bad person, but saying “well im just a shit person” instead of working to improve yourself isnt gonna help u, the people u talk to, or anyone. 

i genuinely dont know what 2 say here other than that i hope u can see a good therapist, i dont hate you, i dont see u as evil, and i hope to god that ur staying safe. 

the police did nothing about the anon because, although the harassment had been going on for years, there had been no threats to my life made in four months. they refused to investigate, i still get messages from them occasionally.

i've been trying to seek mental help since i was 14, and still have not managed to get through the system. i am seriously trying to better myself and fix the way that i react to and think about things, but there's only so much i can do when people label me as "high functioning" and "not a danger" and then push me off.

i've been waiting on a referral for a pd diagnosis since february, i have heard nothing since i went through days of calling different numbers because i was referred to a clinic that doesn't exist.