due vite.

we should have started rioting when they took cd and dvd player slots out of laptops

"I asked Chat GPT" — well, I asked Mother Nature and she said your brain and soul are rotting inside of you.

bro it sounds like maybe you need a reminder of the glorious interconnectedness of all things?

“I asked chat GPT” yeah we can tell

dissociation thursday

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

I WISH THINGS HAD TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY!!!!!!!!! goes to the supermarket

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

hello my name is car person and i would like to drive down the road at 1 william miles per hour at 2:04 in the morning. my automotive vehicle makes more noise than an airplane and i want everyone to know just how cool i am for spending several thousand dollars on aftermarket parts to make it go slightly faster which is why i also removed the part that makes it quiet because everyone deserves to know that my car goes slightly faster than a stock vehicle of the same make and model because i'm cool. also did i mention it is 2:04 in the morning

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws