how did this happen, we're smarter than this

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

I HC that Sidious put him in upper management specifically to make that hate flow. He looked at Jedi Anakin and thought to himself: what does this guy like? Jumping out of moving vehicles at 30,000 feet? Well, we won’t be doing *gestures at all of Anakin* that. Put this guy in an office.

all the daughters sold to one direction are being returned. they're all men now. or lesbians

i eat your grandads clothes

Macklemoth

my favorite thing about louis is he's a business major in a world of theater kids. everyone's playing psychological games with each other through theater and rock music and the fractured art of storytelling and he's like "but what are the margins on my vampire hotel"

we cant talk here. pictochat. room c.

the Cc in emails stands for Cuck chair

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars

the problem with off campus and heated rivalry is that they imply male hockey players are ensouled

Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???