I wish general society acknowledged that "boy moms" are often incredibly abusive. They are controlling and manipulative and they often isolate their sons (and daughters, boy moms are deeply misogynistic) from other family members, friends, and especially romantic partners. There is a reason why so many men who grew up with "boy moms" struggle to stand up to their mothers even as adults with partners and children of their own; it's because years and decades of emotional abuse and manipulation make it extremely difficult to both stand up to your abuser AND to even recognize it as abuse in the first place, especially when your abuser has spent your entire life telling you that they're the only person on your side and everyone is out to get her.
This isn't a justification for the way that these men treat their own partners and children and put them below their moms, but I really think we need to talk about this like the abuse it is and recognize that it's extremely difficult to move past abuse and trauma when you don't even have those words to explain your experiences.
(Do NOT tag this as narcissistic abuse; linking abuse with disorders instead of behaviors is ableist and makes it incredibly difficult for people to get mental health care and talk about their experiences with their illnesses. Most abusers don't have NPD and most people with NPD are totally fine and wonderful friends, partners, and parents.)
"Why do so many men put up with their moms manipulating them/pushing aside their partners/taking over their weddings/etc?"
The same reason why so many adults brush off their dad beating them as kids. The same reason why so many women don't bat an eye at how controlling their boyfriends and husbands are. Because that abuse is normal to them and it is painful and difficult to recognize how awful it really is, especially when the abuse is coming from someone that you love and don't want to hurt.
I know that "what if the genders were reversed?" isn't always a useful framework, and I know that fathers being sexually controlling of their daughters is all too normalized, but that said, I think if fathers went around talking about how they don't like their sons but they like their daughters more because daughters are their "little girlfriends" and being distraught that their toddler daughter might grow up and love another man instead of being his girlfriend forever, people might be more likely to recognize this emotional and borderline sexual abuse.
