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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@samleerandom

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Bluntnose stingray (Hypanus say)
My friend needs 40 dollars for a hotel tomorrow and I only had fifteen to give and hope there is an opening in Fargo homeless shelters. I hate this economy.
To a Fool
Ye hae a mind richt guid and great
O ane wi nocht but straw in heid.
Och, aw yer luve he shuirley needs,
The sair sicht!
He rins awa frae sic due fate
The law his fricht!
Ye'll tak no wirds against yersel,
Conceit as daurk and deep as Hell
Yer thocht is nae but empie shell
Wi room fer a hoose!
Ye'll no hae fact to ye be telled
By ane o blue!
Nou gae and onpit yer cap o reid
In scaupin heat and nation deid,
An' curse the anes wha growe yer meat;
Aye, thay're the pox!
Ye'll hae but guns and hatesome leid
Till ye're in a box!
(15 January 2024)
Dear Mr. G.K. Chesterton
I cannot Camembert your quote
'On cheese the poets never wrote'
That ne'er we've dwelt on Roquefort.
But yes. On this our writing's short.
But here I right this wrong, good sir
You may your head rest Lancashired
My duty I refuse to shirk
The world such cheesewords ne'er will hurt.
On poem's journey I have set
To write of Edam and Raclette
Link letters, sentences and yet
On rhyming cheeses I do fret.
Now as this poem goes on, heard
One can't deny these fitting words
I write here on that perfect curd
You're right impressed, I'm very sure.
Though rhyming go on can Vignotte.
I've given it my every shot.
May no cheese hence be left to rot,
And every morsel hit the spot!
(17 January 2024)

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To a Cat
A bairdy beastie as it staunds
Taupie leap an' goamie laund
Pit merk sae reid on airm and haund
An' flee awa!
Sae tak yer hellsest, pernim baund;
Yer eejits aw!
Ye'll suddent rage at me for whit?
Yer hellery shoud I nou permit,
Aye? Is that sae? Yer harn's a nit
Ye beastie fool!
Ye're braw, but awfu short o wit
Yer weight ye ne'er pou!
But ken ye no, ma wee bit fere
O human morals, rules an' cares.
Wi me yer luve ye luve tae skare
Yer rummlin lood!
Maist cantie ane, yer fur sae fair
Wi guid cause prood!
(16 January 2024)
There was no fucking way to predict that
you just don't get shit like this with 8-episode streaming seasons
No but you do get this kind of thing with new startrek episodes.
Lower decks ended like six months ago and absolutely would have done this.

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Yeah, it's time to get this post out again
I am fully a gay Arthur believer bc that man showed absolutely no interest in women until it was relevant to the plot when he married gwen but before that the people who need him to fall in love with a women gave him love potions to make him? Like why would they do that if they knew that a stunning woman would do it? Especially when people hc Merlin as gay and Arthur as bi when Merlin shows more interest in women from the start?
I see a lot of ‘cis’ women say they wish they were androgynous in the way men were or they wish they were pretty in the way men were. This is your sign to go try to do that. You may find you enjoy being an androgynous woman. You may find you no longer identify as a woman. You may find you don’t like androgyny. You will not know until you try. Cut your hair if you’ve always wanted to but have been afraid to. Shop in the men’s section if you’ve been too nervous to. Wear clothing with an androgynous  silhouette. Experiment with binding, take baby steps with compression bras if you want. Wear unisex scents. Live life. Try things you want to try. A lot of cis women do not understand the joys of mens pants and mens deodorant. I think everyone should try both of those things.
(via @monimolimnion)
[screenshot of tags which read:
#much more comfortable being a woman when I realised it literally doesn’t have to mean anything #unlock cis+ it’s good for you]
Trans people don't own gender. We stole it the way Prometheus stole fire, so it would be available to everyone.
this has been in my head for weeks

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sometimes “!!!!!!!!!!!” is a word
idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr
you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category
Which is more fuckable?
Space Needle
Habitat 67
I'm a coward (see results)
I want to know how people think habitat 67 is more fuckable??
Personality, obviously.
Some people prefer aesthetics of yonic structures over phallic structures
I’ve never seen a penis shaped like that before
but youve seen a pussy shaped like habitat 67?
You don’t know my life