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The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

if you are a game designer and you force me to kill wolves AND you have them make sad puppy noises I'm killing you

see this never happens in spider solitaire for windows

a printer error is an attempt from god to get you to kill yourself but you must be stronger and you must must must beat the printer to death with a large object like object

regular doctors will be like "idk i think you might be stupid" & then specialists will be like "idk i think your doctor might be stupid"

ugh. forget everything i’ve ever said. unless you thought it was smart or funny in which case remember it forever

coming out of my cage and i been doing just bad. going back in my cage because i like my cage

i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

we are so fucking back baby

at my fathers funeral hitting the bong of grief