Salty Writer

The eerie singsong “hello, brother/sister~” when you want people to think you’re in some sort of cult

The bombastic, Viking warrior style “well met, brother/sister!” when you want to give notice that you’re about to do something stupid

The conspicuously formal “yes, dearest brother/sister?” when you want folks to think you’re Up To Something™ (but may or may not be planning anything in particular)

Instead of whispered, consider:

murmured

mumbled

muttered

breathed

sighed

hissed

mouthed

uttered

intoned

susurrated

purred

said in an undertone

gasped

hinted

said low

said into someone’s ear

said softly

said under one’s breath

said in hushed tones

As mentioned in previous posts: These are not synonyms for whispered. You can’t use them interchangeably. Let’s go through them.

“Well,” she whispered, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The character is speaking in a voice so low it’s become words made of breath, probably because she doesn’t want to be heard.

“Well,” she murmured, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The character is saying this very quietly, but above a whisper. She may be talking to herself.

“Well,” she mumbled, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The character is speaking under her breath in low enough tones that her words may sound unclear or slurred. Also very possibly talking to herself.

“Well,” she muttered, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The character is speaking lowly, but more clearly than a mumble. She sounds angry, irritated, or dully frustrated.

“Well,” she breathed, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

Breathing words may mean relief, exasperation, or exhaustion, and sound half like a sigh. Oh, look—

“Well,” she sighed, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The character is almost certainly not happy. She’s speaking in a tired, heavy breath.

“Well,” she hissed, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The character’s words are coming out in low, very sharp breaths. She sounds angry, irritated, or maybe just in an intense moment.

“Well,” she mouthed, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The character is using the barest hint of her voice, if any at all. Her lips are silently forming the syllables.

“Well,” she uttered, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

Using uttered in this particular type of descriptive sense actually just sounds awkward. That said, ‘utter’ sounds like a word that implies speech in low yet strong and loud tones, well-enunciated, like someone preaching.

“Well,” she intoned, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The tone of her voice is dull and flat, with little variance in pitch. She is saying this without much emotion (intentionally or not).

Fuck “susurrated”.

“Well,” she purred, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The manner she’s speaking in is silky, smooth, and particularly pleased; quite possibly smug. In this particular example, this implies she probably does have a choice about [whatever it is] and is being facetious.

“Well,” she said in an undertone, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

This is bad, because an undertone is something that needs describing. That’s like saying “her dress was a color”.

“Well,” she gasped, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The character is speaking in a sharp intake of breath, probably brought on by surprise or shock. She could also be short of breath, being strangled or something.

“Well,” she hinted, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

The character has particular (duh) hint-hint tones in her voice as she speaks to someone. One can just imagine her leaning over closer to their ear.

“Well,” she said low, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

Her voice has dropped below normal pitch, but is above a whisper. There’s a certain amount of dullness in the tone, probably.

“Well,” she said, into his ear, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

This implies nothing about the actual voice, just that she’s literally speaking right into his ear (perhaps at normal volume, which would be painful). It doesn’t, on its own, carry any connotations of tone or emotion.

“Well,” she said softly, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

I have a personal beef with the word “softly” on account of writers in a certain area of a certain MMO that use that word for fucking everything; speech, movement, touch, footsteps, because it helps to passively describe their character as delicate and pretty or something.

It’s a personal beef. There’s nothing really wrong with the word. Moving on.

Saying something softly implies not only a lowered pitch but a certain gentleness (or at least lack of weight) in tone.

“Well,” she said under her breath, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

This is very like muttered, murmured, etc — it sounds (dur) breathier, and is more likely to imply a person talking to themselves.

“Well,” she said in hushed tones, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

Now you’re getting closer to an equal term for “whispered”; hushed tones could mean that, or half-whispered. It does imply a certain amount of whisperiness or breathiness. It also implies a deliberate attempt to be quiet.

“Well,” she insinuated, “I suppose I haven’t got a choice.”

Like with ‘uttered’, this feels grammatically weird in that it’s usually a thing a person describes another person as doing (“Greg didn’t say it, but he insinuated it!”), but whatever. It’s similar to hinting; it means you’re trying to imply or subtly convey something, but has nothing to do with actual whispers.

“use the precise word, not the word that kinda sorta fits or ‘sounds more impressive’ ”

There is one specific type of moment where your characters absolutely must act out of character.

When shit gets serious.

Everyone has their own distinct personality.  But your personality is multi-layered, it’s constantly changing. Your friends at school might see you as a bit quiet and reserved, but friendly. Your colleagues at work might see the snark, the jokes, the forced smiles and negativity. Your best/closest friends might see the loud side, the bitchy side, the laugh until you can’t breathe side. 

You’ve heard the phrases ‘But they’re not like that with me,’ or ‘I don’t see it.’ When I was at work I said it all the time- because certain people acted one way around me, and a different way when I wasn’t there. 

It’s the same with situations. It is impossible to determine how someone is going to act in any given situation. Most people I worked with would say I’m polite to customers, but put me in a situation where we’re understaffed, way too busy, with customers being rude- I won’t take any crap and I will be rude back. ‘But that doesn’t sound like Sarah!’ That’s the point. 

If you’ve got a snarky character, they’re not going to be snarky all the time, so don’t expect them to be. That’s unrealistic. There will come a time when your character won’t have the luxury of standing to the side, or refusing to fight, or showing their anger, or being snarky. They will have to change- if only for that moment. 

‘well, if they knew how things would end’

jesus wept

if they knew how things would end, they wouldn’t act as they do because it would be a completely different story

There are a lot of self-destructive coping mechanisms and Poor Life Choices people make, even being aware that it’s not *great* - or even being aware that what they’re doing might very well kill them - but nonetheless do not stop doing.

The tl;dr from Merriam-Webster for those averse to clicking links:

The discomforts or cramping caused by hunger are known as hunger pangs not pains. In the medical profession “pang” is directly associated to discomfort caused by hunger thus its use in the phrase. Because the word is rarely seen elsewhere and its pronunciation is close to “pain” the phrase is often confused for “hunger pains.”

me and my little brother don’t even greet each other - if we pass each other on the stairs or in the corridor, we jump into ridiculous fight stances then feign karate chopping and slapping each other (stopping just before we make contact) whilst making “HIIIYA” and “POW” noises for a solid 30 seconds, then silently walk off and continue what we were doing

Then I hear my little bro say, “You just let people push you around like that???”

He’d snuck into the gallery and instead of saying “hi” like a normal person of course he decided to body-slam me. 

So I punched him in the gut. 

Writers who don’t have siblings: “Don’t you dare hurt my little sister or I will fucking end you.” Writers who have siblings: “Hey sup. You should win a medal for putting up with this idiot.”

Writers who don’t have siblings: “I know I can count on my big bro to protect me.” Writers who have siblings: “Go mind your own fucking business you moron.”

Writers who don’t have siblings: “Here, little bro. I made you eggs and pancakes. Your favorite.” Writers who have siblings: “YOU ATE THE LEFTOVER PIZZA I LEFT IN THE FRIDGE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH.”

Writers who don’t have siblings: “My siblings’ life is my business! I love them!” Writers who have siblings: “I love my siblings, yes. What they’ve been up to lately? Bitch, I have literally no idea.”

Dee Rees talks about it in her BAFTA lecture (which you should ABSOLUTELY WATCH): that what your character actually says should be three degrees of separation away from what they mean to say.

If your characters say what they mean all the time, you, as a writer, are robbing yourself of so much power to affect the audience. This is true in all writing but especially in dramatic writing, where everything in the character’s interior life has to be externalized in some way to be known. You can create intimacy by allowing the audience to see something your character hides from other characters. You can create tension by letting the audience know the character has a secret or has told a lie they don’t want revealed. You can create catharsis by allowing the character to finally say what they’re really thinking at a key moment.