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@salmon-offical
Pinned post
Hi, I'm a salmon, the coolest fish in town
I only have 2 rules:
1. My main blog DNI list carries over to this one
2. Do not mention seafood of any kind to me, I'm sick of hearing about all the ways you terrible humans have cooked and consumed my brothers.
Failure to abide by these rules will result in the addition of your handle to either my block list or my fishing list (list of humans to fish out of land)
And that's it, have fun! I'm a pretty chill dude
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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@salmon-offical
I will actually just die if you put me in saltwater š
Are you a landlocked salmon?
Stan. - @stan-officaal
Killer.
Salmon.
I want as many officalverse blogs to reblog this post as possible
how many asks do you have in your inbox
19,560...
Bro actually just doxxed me-
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
Hello ma'am
Hello, but uh, I'm a sir-
I do believe you have just misgendered a fish lol
Hey uh. It's actually "offical". I don't know why the [BOING!] that is, go ask satan or smth. /positive
Dammit
Fun fact: it actually doesn't matter whether or not you spell it offical or official (although offical is preferred)
You're still technically part of the officalverse! And thus you get a follow from me
@salmon-offical
I will actually just die if you put me in saltwater š
I NEED a lore drop of the officalverse
I hear thereās seasons or some shit
eh, it went downhill after salamander's rock arc. can you believe they entirely cut salamander from the show for a while? anyway, apparently the new showrunner is bringing salamander back, so it'll probably get good again.
.... I pay attention to none of the lore if it doesn't involve me (which it rarely ever does)
Fay has his own lore that I've put a lot of effort into world building bcz uhm. It's my lore. And I can.
wait thereās actually lore? I was joking
ohmygod what
I mean I think there's lore???
There was that ice thing???
And @eredin-offical died and then came back or wtv???
Is this not lore??????????
There are more interesting things about me you could talk about. Maybe I need to educate you on those things.
I was leader of a smaller faction of the official verse for a sec, I think I'm a side character
I was King of the Officalverse twice. You are nothing.
Question: why do you think I wrote this line?
A "side character" does not make sense. Just admit you are nothing. That makes sense.
Could "nothing" suck off your mom last night?
Insult my mother all you want, it will change nothing.
If I'm nothing then how will that change me?
I see, you wish to play this game... And this game is not one I am willing to play. So I suggest you quit it.
*Eredin lets out a low, rumbling chuckle. The sound echoes through his helmet*
As you will.
*is watching from the riverbank while eating popcorn*
Know your roses guys Or you just might fuck up the moment
and you dont want to do that ._.Ā
salmon is for desire
I LOVE HOW THIS POST STARTS OFF SO NORMAL AND THEN-
TUMBLR.
January 13, 2013
@sirsamueloflydia @salmon-offical
JARED WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT HUMAN š
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
my posture is so bad it wraps around itself and makes it look like upside down good posture
You should probably see a chiropractor about that but then again what do I know, I'm just a fish
older study for a bear illustration š¤
@sirsamueloflydia are you in this picture?
No that's @salmon-offical's cousins
MY FAMILY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HAIL GLEESUS FISH (a salmon) HAIL
@indigoisaspookyghost
I'm confused but sure lol
Gleesus Fish is a Minecraft salmon that has a cult of about 30 people. My friend (head priest) and I (mouth of god) decided to create the religion about a year ago lmao
Ooooohh
Cool :D
HAIL GLEESUS FISH (a salmon) HAIL
@indigoisaspookyghost
I'm confused but sure lol
ummm I uh... I just ate a piece of salmon jerky 8 minutes ago....
...
Eating my brother was your first mistake. Informing me of it was your second.
Count your days, generic highschooler. And no, I don't mean until graduation...
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ā¢ No registration required ā¢ HD streaming
NEW TAG GAME
The last fictional character in your camera roll is now your older sibling/parental figure
@cosmo-lives-here @donthandmemyshovelimstayingout @damsnackbar03 @thejohnlockedfemboy
Welp, I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Daddy Guile? /j /silly
Lowkey tho I feel like Guile would be a cool older brother
@soopsop @exoticmamba @a-sucker-for-a-sucker-offical @cenovis-official @the-one-and-only-piper-offical
I mean- id be smart and reel-y good with fish puns
Your puns won't ever scale up to mine though :)
i am a grapefruit
what are you š«µ?
i am an astronaut
what are you š«µ?
I am a shark
what are you š«µ?
i am a weirdo
what are you š«µ?
I am a time loop
what are you š«µ?
I am a jester with a conch head
what are you š«µ?
i'm an anthropomorphic fish-shark
what are you š«µ?
i'm a... sponge. boy? girl? thing? person
what are you š«µ?
I AM GOD
What are you š«µ?
I'm a salmon
What are youš«µ?
