Saitama Suggestions

OKAY I'LL SUMMARIZE

So JD Vance is Trump's veep pick to replace Mike Pence (who made the fatal GOP error of following the constitution on J6 2020 and not announcing Trump as eternal godking)

Overall, Vance's rollout since the GOP convention has been

not

great

Now, some important context is that a bunch of extremely sexist and off-putting video has surfaced from previous campaigns, podcasts, etc. For example:

In a 2021 appearance on Tucker Carlson’s former Fox News show, Vance, who was then a candidate for the Ohio Senate, told Carlson that the United States was being run by “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.”

This generated a lot of outrage, as you'd expect, and the current peak result of this quote is major news outlets talking about Jennifer Aniston calling him heartless. Vance's other quotes are driving a lot of news stories, they can be looked up, yadda yadda, but they're not really part of this particular saga.

No, what's really captured people's attention about Vance is this one tweet that someone dashed off:

Damn, it even has page numbers cited! It must be legit, right?

No. It's totally made up. But people wanted to believe, and boy, did they run with it. A sample:

Snopes chimed in with a factcheck on whether that text was in Vance's book, and no, it was not.

The Associated Press tried to do the same, but there's one problem: they phrased their headline a little differently.

And people pointed out that while you can objectively verify whether certain text is contained inside a book, you can't actually verify that Vance has never had sex with a couch! Whether for the AP realizing that they'd posted an unverifiable "factcheck" headline, or for an editor going "why the fuck did you write that in the first place," this soon happened:

Which means that if you try to visit the article saying that no, Vance didn't fuck a couch, you see this:

As many people immediately realized: it's funny to have the AP run its initial headline; it's fucking hilarious for them to pull the factcheck after its publication. The collective hilarity surged even higher.

So. Where things are by July 25th:

So yeah.

Great news: she loved it. Super tasty apparently. Great success. Along with the kidney-sensitive treats we found, it was a nice way to supplement her diet. Unforseen long-term consequence though: she loved it so much she began demanding it throughout the day. Like, would come up to us and meow, and meow, and meow, and not stop, until we got up, went to the kitchen, and got her some cat drink.

And by doing so on demand, we have unfortunately created a monster: no matter what we are doing at home, Dozy knows that if she sits next to you and meows, 1) you know what she wants, and 2) you know that she will not stop until you get it for her now. And when you do get it, she gets extremely excited. She will bum rush the kitchen door as you enter. She will run around your feet as you open the can. She will let out the creakiest, crunchiest, most nails-on-the-chalkboard meow you've ever heard if she thinks you're not going fast enough.

I do not begrudge her this. It is gratifying to care for a creature whose most ardent desires are so simple that it is this easy to fulfill them. But I am a little sad, because I know in my heart that I have never loved any comestible as much as she loves this cat drink. She has a pleasure of a purity and intensity that I will never know.

Happy hot girl summer! 😎

So I watched the new deadpool movie! Have a messy drawing

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