𝖘𝖙.𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖆 of the knife 🗡

i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

there’s a creepy human-shaped stain on the floor of this hotel room and it fits the size and shape of my body perfectly

"I CANT HANDLE THIS" *handles this*

"I CANT TAKE ANOTHER DAY" *takes another day*

Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

I'm not gonna lie the secret to success for a great many people is absolutely stimulant abuse

I genuinely like salad I am just also fully convinced that the vast majority of people and restaurants are doing salad wrong. Listen to me. Hold my hand. You have been taken in by Big Lettuce. A salad can be primarily other things. Crunchy leaves are the foundation of the salad but you cannot build a whole building out of them. The other stuff in the salad is not just "toppings" it is the rest of the salad.

My problem is that I have betrayed everything that I am for phone in bed

Its so embarrassing that ADHD is the "I don't try very hard" disease. Like yeah I want to make my life better. But I'm not gonna try that hard. And yes I'm embarrassed about it

time to waste the last month of 2013 on the internet

They’re also playing with a telepath and a guy who see through the cards.

They weren’t lying when they said that as an adult you have to fight for your life to practice your hobbies

They also weren’t lying when they said that when you fail to do so your soul shrivels up inside your body and dies

amazing how two thousand years have gone by and we still ultimately cannot get past the Ancient Roman view of sex where penetrating was respectable and being penetrated was disgraceful

The lion is concerned. The lion is honestly really fucking worried.