Recklessly Infatuated 2

Obama, not singing Happy Birthday to you-know-who.

Trillionaire Elon Musk says space is the ‘final frontier’ in his ongoing search to find someone who likes him, after exhausting all other known options on Earth.

Musk, who has spent billions of dollars desperately trying to get people on his home planet to like him, said the successful IPO of his rocket company SpaceX will unlock vital funds for the project.

“All I’ve ever wanted is for someone to like me,” Musk explained at the IPO in Texas. “Believe me, I’ve tried everything. I bought a social media platform in an effort to find a friend. I decimated the US Civil service and gave the project a funny name so people would think I was cool, but that didn’t work.

“Then I spent two years developing a piece of AI software so I could build an artificial girlfriend, but even she doesn’t like me. Space is my last remaining option. Statistically, someone out there has to find my jokes funny”.

But astrophysicists are not so certain. “The observable universe contains hundreds of billions of galaxies, each with billions of stars and planets, so the probability that there is life out there is incredibly high,” astrophysicist Brendan Klein said.