nice

you can’t use a portal gun to have sex with your own butt because every time you thrust your butt would get further away. You’d be like tantalus in the garden

Proficiency in both ranged and deranged combat

yeeowch! *is torn asunder*

if nobody minds i might read about animals on the computer

whatever man *walks outside of your render distance*

Not funny, didn't laugh, also your gut microbiome is not nearly as diverse and plentiful as mine

shawty got them evil bottom jeans

boots with the curse

Why not spell pants like “pance.” Just a little thought I had

make your own foot scrub

please stop making me read this

the long game

Imagine in another 600 million years your fossilized corpse is found by things that laugh at how much your footprints look like their copulatory flaps

its been said before but  it honestly bears repeating now more than ever. girl help

maybe the girl in the car's boyfriend and the hook man simply ran away together. did you ever think of that.