some of you have never been hung up on a cross and had nails driven thru ur hands and it really shows LOL

i love this and feel very called out at the same time

My last brain cell is heart shaped

its just me, my escapist tendencies, and these tits

The type of life I want to be living.

currently drinking juice with my custom krazy straw that says “bitch” while wearing comically large sunglasses and i think im finding my true self rn tbh

How long must you suck in order for you to finally get the juice?

not gonna lie it takes a few seconds but whats the point of being a bitch if im not gonna be over the top

What riding the bus will do to you is give you an unbeatable power stance

If standing in the middle of a crowded bus going 70mph with no available handholds while also cradling a cup of coffee and a heavy backpack can’t knock me over then you certainly can’t

our friend saw cars 3 so we asked him to give us his honest review of it and all he said was “Lightning McQueen had a smart phone”

that’s all we need to know

5 Y hhyt guy I jo 8 oi 9 oh uthj g y8 giI’m u

Thanks

that was lightning mcqueen trying to contact us bro

Americans be like: 1 star, I would give less stars if I could. The food was the most exquisite possible thing I have ever eaten or ever will eat. The decor was amazing, I loved everything. but it seemed like my waiter could’ve possibly had other things she would’ve rather been doing and other concerns outside of serving me, never go here again.

depression meal: standing in the kitchen for 15 minutes debating if i have the energy to cook then leaving after eating raw bread