can we stop pretending that yuna hollander doesnt swear or like swearing. one of the first things she says about ilya is “fuck him. fuck him right up the butt.”

I know I’ve made this post before but at the end of the day they are sweeties and are in love so jot that down. jot it the fuck down.

Time to FROLIC!

yeah yeah yeah fuck-drunk shane but have we considered fuck-drunk ilya maybe shane rode him into next sunday or maybe ilya was just so lost in the sauce he got a little stupid about it so afterwards he just lies on the bed with little cartoon hearts floating around his head and giggling to himself because Wow he just loves shane so much and he feels so good and floaty but they have things to do today and ilya is in charge of the shopping cart but he keeps driving into things and if shane didn’t have good reflexes there would have been a flood in the wine section and he keeps pawing at shane and leaning into him and he hasn’t heard a word of what he’s said the last half an hour because his face is just too pretty and he’s having a hard time multitasking at the moment

they don't really use pet names when they're around other people but their teammates learn very quickly that there is ilya (positive) and ilya (negative) and rozanov (fuck yeah that was fucking gorgeous) and rozanov (if you do not shut the fuck up immediately i swear to fucking good) and shane (adoring) and shane (sad) and hollander (that's how you fucking do it!) and hollander (sit your fucking ass down or we will have a problem) and these distinctions are way more important to keep track of than the five times a month hollander calls cap "baby" and cap's face goes all sappy

The first time Ilya prompts Shane to say something during sex expecting him to say more or please and he gets hit with a thank you he cums so fast his 14 year old self appears to him and goes .. quick shot, huh?

#imo the potluck analogy applies- it would be rude to critique someone's icing technique at a potluck bc it wasn't as good as at the bakery #but if they had decorated their cupcakes w hate symbols it wouldn't be rude to tell them that's gross and gtfo #in fact it would be inappropriate to NOT say anything in that situation #or to complain that another guest who did point it out was 'ruining everyone's potluck' #and pointing out racism in fan works is 100% the second thing not the first! (via destructions-daughter)

Anyway scrimmages are enrichment for post-rivalry married on the Cens hollanov. Don’t talk to Shane right now Luca, he’s thinking about slamming Ilya into the boards and saying “Too slow, eh Rozanov?” Before expertly stealing the puck and scoring with reckless aggression on their poor backup goalie. He’s going to suck on Ilya’s bruise later. Wiebe is wondering if this is at all productive but like. Hollander and Rozanov did take a slight pay-cut.

Ilya in a huddle with Bood and Troy and the d-men like “don’t fuck this up for me we have to take him down” and Troy is smirking like “don’t you mean them?” And Ilya is like “NO. Hollander. We take him down like a hoard of ants. Why are you laughing Barrett? This is not funny. This is not haha. He sees through you and knows all your fears. He is relentless. When he can’t play hockey he reads about it. What was the last book you read, Dykstra?”

let's reintroduce "rude" to the lexicon no that person is not evil or morally bankrupt or even your enemy they're just being rude

still thinking about the way ilya teases shane is like. you are a dork (boring). you are not even really who i'm supposed to have a crush on, even my not-completely-gay side is supposed to find you tedious, like have you met svetlana? have you met sasha? i like danger i am a tigershirtwearingtotheclub bad boy (the tiger says im cool dont worry about it) and a sex god and you can't even break a rule about where to smoke a cigarette you are so squeaky clean its hard to even look right at you, and I think I JUST THINK !!!!! that ilya is actually irritated by shane's uncoolness at first (HEAR ME OUT) like ilya is irked by it like shanes good boy ness ruffles ILYAS feathers because it flies in the face of what ilya knows to be true which is that good guys are suckers good guys get taken advantage of your goodness cant save you and if it can then maybe your world is too different from mine because thats not the way the real world works like shane is nothing like what ilya thought he'd fall for and i don't think it was love at first sight i think ilya was being sincere in wanting to roll his eyes and feeling annoyed and legitimately teasing shane because he didn't -AT FIRST- respect him, or at least he wanted to knock him down a peg, and then shane was like, ok so if you knock me down a peg what if I try really hard to earn your respect and THAT is when ilya really noticed shane for the first time because that's what teasing was MADE for like someone who earnestly tries hard and cares about quality is so ripe for teasing and bullying and the thing is ilya is walking a VERY thin line between teasing from a place of his fragile ego and his trauma-tinged-desire and not pushing shane too far but still pushing SOMETHING on shane because shane likes to be pushed (which is insane its insane that ilya found his freaking soulmate of a likes-to-be-pushed-around boy in someone who ilya finds dorky and boring but then the boring becomes so erotic because look at his boy THATS HIS BOY his boring canadian freckled boy he hit the freaking LOTTERY) like every bully-that-secretly-wants-to-be-loved's dream and I think its worth exploring it as that as ilya being a bully sometimes as real meanness spilling out in places that make it messy as shane experiencing bullying but feeling something complicated from it like attention but the wrong kind but the wrong is wrapped up in something good too like theres something sweet and theres something sinister and sometimes its hard to tell which is which