; ℛ𝒆𝓹𝒆𝓷𝓽.

HARD TIMES

“all that i want is to wake up fine.”

“tell me that i’m alright - that i ain’t gonna die.”

“and i still don’t know how i even survive.”

“where do i go? give me some sort of sign.”

“gonna take you down and laugh until you cry.”

ROSE-COLORED BOY

“i’m right at the end of my rope.”

“don’t make me laugh, i’ll choke.”

“hey man, we all can’t be like you.”

“i want you to stop insisting that i’m not a lost cause.”

“i don’t want anybody seeing me cry now.”

TOLD YOU SO

“for all i know, the best is over and the worst is yet to come.”

“i hate to say i told you so.”

“i know you like when i admit that i was wrong.”

“at least i try to keep my cool.”

FORGIVENESS

“i cried ‘til i couldn’t cry.”

“you want forgiveness.”

“there’s still a thread that runs from your body to mine.”

“if it’s all up to us we might as well give up.”

“forgiving is not forgetting.”

FAKE HAPPY

“i bet everybody here is just as insincere.”

“please, don’t ask me how i’ve been.”

“if the lights are low they’ll never see me frown.”

“i know i said that i was doing good and that i’m happy now…”

26

“you really know how to get someone down.”

“hold onto hope if you’ve got it.”

“i’m hoping someday maybe i’ll just float away.”

“survival will not be the hardest part.”

“let it break your heart.”

POOL

“no one breaks my heart like you.”

“for a moment, i could forget what happens in my head.”

“is it better to get it over with?”

“now i know you.”

GRUDGES

“are you recounting all my faults?”

“could it be that i’ve changed? or did you?”

“we can’t keep holding on to grudges.”

“i don’t even care that it’s been awhile.”

“why did it take so long to just let it go?”

CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

“i can’t think of who i was, it just makes me want to cry.”

“i try to keep going but it’s not that simple.”

“nostalgia’s cool, but it won’t help me now.”

“i can sabotage me by myself.”

“i gotta keep going or they’ll call me a quitter.”

IDLE WORSHIP

“don’t hold your breath, i never said i’d save you.”

“i don’t want your money.”

“we all got problems don’t we?”

“i know that you’re afraid to let all the dark escape you.”

“you’re wasting all your faith on me.”

NO FRIEND

“i’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine.”

“i see myself in the reflection of people’s eyes.”

“i hate i might actually be more afraid.”

“if nothing comes of it, just know that we are grateful.”

TELL ME HOW

“you may hate me but i can’t hate you.”

“i’m sick of the beginnings.”

“tell me how to feel about you now.”

“of all the weapons you fight with, your silence is the most violent.”

She hadn’t felt this paranoid and suspicious since she was sixteen… It had been a long,long time since she cared about what other people thought about her. But there was just something about preachers and churches,or at least well put together churches but her very uneasy. Quickly she tried to put herself back together,“Yes,father you just caught me off guard is all…”

THE ESSENCE

; { let’s say posting wips count as being an active rp blog ok

She followed him inside, taken aback by the difference between this church and Annville’s church.“Jeezus,” Tulip whistled softly, taking in the church, “No pun intended,” she quickly added. “Lot nicer of a church than what I grew up with. Only room enough for one small, bumfuck town. Broken everything, no goddamn fans or nothin’ for the summer heat. Swear at least five old biddies died each summer from a stroke,” she trailed off as he disappeared in front of her. 

Tulip walked down the church aisle at a leisurely pace, swaying from side to side with each step. Always feels so damn opressing. And it did, felt like fucking Christ himself was scowling down at her from all sides. “Nice t’see you too, ya dick,” she said aloud, grinning faintly at how her voice reverberated. She stepped up to the alter, glancing out at the empty church before gently, reverently placing her hands upon the podium. She tried to imagine Lazare guiding a service, wondered if he ever tried to tell any of his jokes here, or if it was all gloom and doom, like most sermons. 

He closed the door behind him and took a massive, relieved breath. For a few seconds, he closed his eyes, leaning against the closed door, trying to relax, to calm down and remind himself that this was nothing but a misunderstanding on his part. He was just trying to be sociable tonight, and it had worked - he had a friend now, and he was about to have a friendly drink with and end the night on a perfectly friendly and innocent note. He needed to stop worrying, ‘cause nothing wrong could happen. Nothing at all. Why was he here for already? Oh, right - the wine. He walked to the kitchen and pulled two massive wooden crates from a pantry. He lifted the first one up on his shoulder and walked back to the door. There was at least a good twenty liters of booze in this crate, which would surely be enough for now. But, just in case, he pushed the other crate towards the door with his foot, making it easy for him to come back later and grab it without breaking everything else in his apartment if he happened to be a little too drunk.

But as soon as he opened the door, he was welcomed by the sound of a familiar voice, echoing through the nave, and he caught sight of Tulip sitting on one of the pews, singing. He silently put the crate down on the floor, discreetly leaning against one of the pillars next to the altar, crossing his arms and listening to her.