lovesick!patrick (because why not) x reader
summary: you both love each other, you guys just don’t know it yet
rating: 18+ mostly just fluff and angst, but there’s some smut thrown in there
warnings: arguing, cussing, smoking, drinking?, kissing, fingering, oral (f receiving), p in v
a/n: patrick goes to stanford in this fanfic😢, this is kinda trash but wtv, i finished this at 2%🎉🥳 , enjoy!!
Patrick was never much of a romantic. Never craved that kind of intimacy. Until you. Until one day you just came into his life and never seemed to get out. It started off with simple conversations about tennis. You were not as passionate about tennis as him - he knew this - but you still decided to talk to him about it. Those conversations led to weekly conversations.
He felt like he could tell you anything without you being weird about it or shutting him out. He even told Art about you. But still, it’s not like he likes you or anything. He just enjoys your company so much that he would think about you before he went to bed and when he woke up. He doesn’t like you though.
July 2, Friday, 2007, 9:45pm
Patrick liked listening to you speak about the stars. Not that he would ever say that out loud. He enjoyed having you hold his hand as you showed him what shapes the stars made and what they were called. He liked this nerdy side of you. The side where you would rant about stars and planets so passionately.
“There’s Lyra.” you said and pointed in the sky. “Who the hell is Lyla?” he asked and you rolled your eyes. “Lyra is not a person. It’s a constellation idiot.” you said and grabbed his hand and pointed to one star. Then another, tracing it until it made a shape. He wasn’t really listening to you explain the constellation.
He was more focused on the way your hand held his to point to the stars, also focused on the way you stared at the stars as you explained it. Your voice was soothing. Like the fresh summer breeze that was washing over you both, blowing his hair slightly along with the wind. “You’re a nerd.” he said quietly and you turned your head to glare at him.
“My favorite nerd.” he murmured and you slightly smiled. He smiled too. “Shut up.” you said, that stupid smile still on yours and his as he chuckled. It got quiet again. The only thing you guys could hear was the tree leaves rustling from the wind, and the soft music coming from the house where your mom was making cookies.
What rushed between you guys was confusing. Its like everything stopped and everyone disappeared besides you two. You were so beautiful. Your eyes seemed to sparkle under the star lights you had hanging up in your backyard trees. Your hand still holding his was so warm and soft. A contrast from his cold and rough ones.
And then your mom called you both, and he looked over at her. Letting go of your hand quickly and getting up. Patting his jeans off. He didn’t want to seem like he was doing anything suspicious with you while she was cooking. He did lend out his hand for you, when you took it he helped you up, letting go after and giving you one last look before going back inside.
He already missed your warm hands in his.
You didn’t know why he let go of your hand so quickly. Did you do something wrong? Make it too obvious that you wanted to kiss him so badly. For a moment you just stared at the open door before you heard your mother call your name again and you walked into the house again. Taking off your shoes and putting them somewhere neat.
When you sat down at the dinner table it was awkward. Patrick didn’t even spare a glance at you. Now you were really thinking. Did you actually do something wrong out there? It seemed so intimate. Like you guys actually had something. He usually did this. Shut you out after any intimate moment you guys have.
Dinner was short. Well at least for you. Becuase you got up and walked to your room, closing the door and changing. You plopped down onto your bed and opened your book. Deciding to distract yourself with words. Like you always did. But you just couldn’t focus. Not when Patrick was on your mind like this. You knew you liked him.
But this was more than just a silly crush. This was more than that. And that’s when it hit you. Were you in love with Patrick Zweig? You didn’t have much to think about it before you heard three soft gentle knocks.
He felt bad for leaving like that. But would apologizing for such a small thing make him seem weak? He never liked seeming weak in front of you. Actually in front of anyone. But especially you. But.. he didn’t like you.
Even though he was waiting impatiently for the moment you opened the door and he saw your infuriatingly pretty face. When you opened the door before he could even raise his hand fully to knock again he frowned a bit as he saw your pout. He cleared his throat. “I gotta go.” he said quietly. And you just nodded.
“Okay.” you said and he frowned. “Okay..” he said and paused. “Bye.” he said and still just stood there. You raised an eyebrow. “Bye?” you said and he looked around, his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. He finally turned to walk away but then paused and turned back half way and walked back to you.
You looked at him in confusion as he just stood in front of you then took his hands out his pockets opened his arms as if he was going to hug you, but he was kind of.. struggling? And when he finally did hug you it was so stiff and awkward. And he *patted* your back. Your eyebrows furrowed but you patted his back right back. Then he pulled back and cleared his throat. “Okay.. cya.” he said before quickly walking away.
You looked at him go and shook your head. “Call me when you get home!” You called after him as he walked down the stairs. He stuck a thumb up before he disappeared down the stairs and closed the front door behind him. When he did he leaned against the door and let out a shaky breath. Realizing that your parents did in fact have a camera at the front door.
He stood up straight and cleared his throat. “Bye.” He said to the camera and walked away to his car parked in the driveway. The drive home was agonizing. He was mentally punching himself for being so damn awkward. Why did he have to get so nervous around you. You guys have known each other for months. Yet he couldn’t even give you a hug? What was this feeling?
September 6, Wednesday, 2007
2nd week back into college was fine. It wasn’t anything special going on. Everything was the same. You and Patrick were still friends, and Patrick still ranted to Art about you. But during summer break it hit Patrick that he didn’t like you. But he loved you. It was shocking to him. Even more shocking to Art when he told him one random night in their dorm.
Art has never turned on his lamp light so fast. Patrick just continued to stare at the ceiling. But he could still feel how Art was staring at him with his jaw dropped. “Patrick Zweig is in love?” Art beamed and chuckled in unbelief. “Gosh. I knew you had a crush on her - but love?” he said and chuckled again, causing Patrick to throw a pillow right in his face. “Can you not emphasize the word love?” he groaned and plopped back down on his pillow.
“I’m sorry. It’s just not everyday I hear that my best friend is in love. Can’t remember the last time you’ve even had a crush, Zweig.” he said and sat up straight. Patrick just rolled his eyes. “When do you plan on telling her?” Art asked like an excited puppy. “Never.” Patrick responded quickly.
Art threw the same pillow that Patrick threw at him back at him. “You have to tell her someday. If not, you’re just gonna end up hurting her and yourself.” he said, sounding really sincere and Patrick just groaned loudly and Art held his hands up, getting the message and turned off the lamp, laying back down. But Patrick actually thought about it. He thought about Art’s words until he fell asleep with his eyebrows furrowed from thinking too much.
The next day whenever you came around Art would act all weird. And Patrick wanted so badly to punch him. You were just confused. Because whenever you looked over at Art, he had this stupid, goofy expression on his face as he leaned back against whatever he was sitting on or standing in front of.
This went on for days. Patrick just keeping it from you like you always did. And Art telling him to just say something. But he never did. And that just left you more confused. Did he like you. Did he not? Why was he acting like this. It was stressing you out. But you were leaning towards - he didn’t like you.
September 28, Saturday, 2007
The party was actually kind of fun. It was a (way too) early halloween party. You were dressed up as a pumpkin. Because that’s honestly been your only costume you’ve ever had and worn at every costume or halloween party. Even wore it on halloween. Patrick was dressed as a ‘evil’ doctor and Art was his patient.
And you and Patrick were like one or two drinks in. Not even 3. You guys weren’t even close to drunk. Not even tipsy. But Art was. Dancing on top of a table to a cheesy song that was playing, while you and Patrick were outside near the river. And you guys were just messing around. And Patrick tripped and fell into the lake, butt first. And you were too busy laughing at him, not noticing his hand grabbing your ankle.
With a light tug he pulled you into the river with him, you gasped as your long skirt got wet and Patrick was just chuckling at you, you soon fell into a fit of chuckles. Both you laughing for a while and Patrick eyes were on you the whole time. You were beautiful when you laughed. Beautiful when you smiled. You were so fucking beautiful when you did anything.
Patrick didn’t give a fuck what any one thought of you. You were the most beautiful person in his eyes, and to him, the whole world. Your laughter soon died down and so did his. And you guys were just looking at each other. That’s when he said *fuck it* and kissed you. Pulling back after like 3 seconds to gauge your reaction.
His hands were shaky where they held your waist, and when you finally reacted, leaning in to kiss him again, he melted into it instantly, his lips pressed against yours was heaven. Your lips tasted of caramel apples, and strawberry chapstick and alcohol. His tasted of cigarettes, some hard candy he ate from a bowl inside and alcohol. He gently manhandled you over so you were laying on the grass and he hovered over you.
That gave him a better angle to kiss you, and when you both pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours and let out a shaky breath. He just kissed you.
October 2, Thursday, 2007.
That kiss was nice, yeah, but it was just another one of his stupid mix signals. Because after that day, everything just went back to normal. He didn’t bring up the kiss so you didn’t bring up the kiss. But you still wanted answers. You wanted to know how he felt about you. What was going on with him. Because at this point you didn’t even know if he liked you.
That led to some stupid argument outside near the same river where you guys shared that kiss. A cigarette hanging from his lips as his hands were shoved into his jackets pockets.
“How do you feel about me then? Do you even like me? You give me all this mixed feelings, they’re so confusing, yet you can’t just man up and tell me anything? You can’t even tell me if you don-“ you said but he cut you. “I don’t fucking know, okay? You can’t expect everyone to just tell you every little thing that goes on in their brain.” he snapped, smoke blowing out his lips from the cigarette.
You stared at him in silence. Your mouth opened to say something. Anything. Be a big girl about this. But you hated when you were yelled at. Especially by him. When you were just asking for the bare minimum. He regretted the words that came out from his lips as soon as they did. And he wanted to say sorry, but you were already walking away - tears welling up in your eyes.
*Fuck.* He just froze in place. His cigarette long forgotten once it fell to the ground.
Hours of sulking in his own dorm for yelling at you like that led to him getting up from his bed, ignoring Art asking him where he was going. He speed walked down the halls to your dorm, in his socks. When he got there he was out of breath but when you opened it his heart sunk at the sight, that was no doubt because of him.
Your eyes red and puffy, nose also red as you sniffled, arms crossed over your chest defensively. “I..” he started but he didn’t say shit else, just pulled you into a hug and closed his eyes as you didn’t wrap your arms around his instantly, his hand resting against the back of your head the other rubbing up and down soothingly on your back. When you wrapped your arms around him it was just fresh tears again.
He didn’t even care that his shirt was getting damp. He just shushed you. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” he murmured against your hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head and inhaling your scent. The floral perfume you used. He gently walked you guys more into your dorm and closed the door behind him with his foot. He was glad you had your own dorm.
He pulled back enough to look at you. Your beautiful features all strewn up from tears. Yet you were still gorgeous. “I’m sorry. I was such a fucking asshole. You didn’t deserve that. You never deserve that.” he said and looked at you. “… How do you feel about me?..” you asked again, and he was quiet. Then pulled you back into a hug. He couldn’t say it right now. Not when you were like this.
A couple more minutes of just holding you, you finally pulled back and his hands found your face, cupping each side tenderly, his thumbs caressing your cheeks, wiping away the stray tears. His soft smile faded as he looked at you. Watching as you slowly leaned in. He didn’t pull back. Instead, he leaned in as well - he was first to close the distance this time.
His lips pressed to yours and you whimpered into the kiss. One of his hands left your cheeks to hold your hip in his hand. Tilting his head to deepen the kiss. When your tongue caressed his bottom lip in a silent plea he didn’t waste any time parting his lips and letting his tongue meet yours.
He backed you up to the bed until your knees hit the back of it and you fell back onto it, Patrick following you onto your bed to hover over you, knees on either side of your thighs, not breaking the kiss once as he did. His tongue slid wetly over yours, his hands roamed your curves, relishing in the soft moans you released into his mouth.
You got impatient of you guys just making out for so long you whined into his mouth and bucked your hips up against his, he groaned against your lips at the slightest friction against his obviously growing erection, he didn’t waste any time to pull back from the kiss and pull off his shirt, throwing it aside somewhere, inhaling a sharp breath as your hands found his chest. His hands moved to the hem of your shirt.
He looked at you in permission and at your nod he quickly pulled off your shirt and threw it somewhere on the ground with his shirt. His lips parted as he looked down at your breasts. You were not wearing a bra under that shirt. “Fuck..” he murmured, his hands going up to cup them, his lips finding your neck to press kisses all over your neck. His hands palming your breasts while he was at it.
When his kisses turned into sucks and nips and his thumbs rubbed against your nipples you bucked your hips up into the air and moaned. “Patrick-“ He shushed you against your neck. His kisses trailing lower, over your collarbone and chest, All the way down to the swell of your breasts.
He can’t remember how long he’s dreamt of worshipping this breasts with his hands and mouth. His hand moves from your left breast so his mouth can press kisses against it before his tongue glides circles around your nipple before flicking it with the tip of his tongue and then taking it into his mouth to suck on it with a moan.
Your back arched off the bed and his free hand trailed down your stomach, his other hand still palming your breast. His free hand untied your sleep shorts and dipped under the hem of your shorts, rubbing you through your already drenched panties.
He relished in your whine and how your arm flew over to cover your eyes. He pulled your arm away and shook his head against your breast, releasing your nipple with a pop. “Nuh uh. Let me see that pretty face.” He murmured and you nodded, watching as he trailed kisses down your stomach. His teeth pulling down your shorts, his hand pulling them down all the way, throwing them with the rest of your clothes.
He pressed an open mouthed kiss to your clit that was covered with your panties still. He then pulled down your panties and groaned at the intoxicating smell of you flooding his senses. His hands grabbed your thighs to put them over his shoulders. His lips already pressing to your clit in a gentle kiss that made you whimper and grab at his hair. He looked up at you with a smile. He got a good view from here.
He closed his mouth around your clit. Sucking on it until you let out a loud moan and tugged at his hair even more. He sucked even harder as two fingers went to probe your already soaked entrance, circling around it as he closed his eyes to savor the moment and the taste of you. At your impatient whine and tugging at his hair he gave in and pushed his fingers into you. “Oh, fuck! Patrick-“ you moaned out.
He chuckled against your clit and looked up at you, admiring how your back arched, your lips were parted, and how your nipples were hard and pebbled up into the air. His fingers moved in and out of you, in and out, the squelch of the wetness of your pussy filled the room along with his sucking and slurping, along with your moans and whines.
He wanted nothing more than to fuck you and himself senseless, lose himself in you, but your pleasure came first. When you clenched around his fingers and your moans turned into whimpers and rushed fuckfuckfuck’s he smirked and moved his fingers quicker and flicked his tongue over your clit.
“Cum for me.” was all you needed to cum all over his fingers, he pulled his fingers out to lick and suck all of your essence up. He sighed as you sighed and your back relaxed. He sat up a bit, his chin, lips and nose were glistening with your arousal. But he didn’t care. He was too busy getting his basketball shorts off and his boxers, once he did he threw them with the rest of your clothes.
He leaned down to hover over you, his forearm resting next to your head on the pillow, his other hand holding the base of his length. He gave himself a couple readying pumps. Resting his forehead against yours he slowly pressed his head into you, you gasped, your lips parting and your back arching at the size of just his head. Your legs wrapped around his waist.
You whined at the feeling and you didn’t know if you could take all him. When he pressed more into you, you pressed against his chest and whined. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t..” you whimpered and he shook his head. “You can, I know you can, baby.” he murmured and took one of the hands that was pressed against his chest and held it in his, pressed it against the pillow gently and intertwining your fingers.
He pressed his lips to yours and pressed more of him in to stifle your loud moans. Because they were loud. When he bottomed out, he rested there for a while, murmuring sweet nothing in your ear as he did, his free hand went to hold your waist. Hell, he was already sweating himself. He was scared to hurt you. He slowly moved out of you then slowly pushed back in. Both of you moaning at the same time.
When he did it again and a couple more times you relaxed into it, his head nuzzling your neck as he pressed soft kisses to the same spot, his fingers flexing against yours. You could see his damp, sweaty biceps flex with each thrust. The sound of skin slapping against skin and your guys moans filled the room, getting more louder and quicker as you guys got closer and closer to the edge.
When you clenched around him, he lost it, his hips basically jackhammering into you, his hand holding your waist reaching down and rubbing your clit. Which made you approach faster. And made him approach faster. “Fuckfuckfuck- Patrick- So- So close.. Mmph-“ you moaned out and he nodded fervently against your neck. “I know, I know.” he said and moaned as you clenched around him again. “Fuck, fuck. I love you. I love you so goddamn much.” he groaned against your neck.
You gasped as he hit that spot in you over and over until you came. “Fuck! I love you too!” you yelled out as you came. He froze inside of you, his hips twitching against you as he came with a groan, burying himself deep inside you. “Fuck me..” he grumbled out as he flopped down onto you. He lifted his head to look at you. His clammy hand reaching up to cup your cheek and caress it with his thumb. “I love you.” he said again, but softer this time with a soft sensual kiss to your lips.
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