☆ ASTER ☆

But his 'friend' only tossed his clothes at him, glaring as if ashamed to even look at him. "Yeah, what ever. Deals a deal. Get out."

"O-oh.. but I thought.. maybe we could.."

"Are you deaf now?? I said get out! Ill have someone deliver your food to your bunk. Tell anyone about this and youll regret it." The man had hissed.

Swallowing, He had scrambled to get dressed, even more confused than ever. Sure, his ass was a little sore and his chest hurt from lack of air, but it wasn't a terrible gig. The next day he went back to being his buddy and his friend, joking with him, keeping his promise of supplies.

For weeks this went on. Once a week he would lay still, nude and let him do as he pleased. The first few times he didn't let him look at him, and from there came the choking.. the slapping.. the spitting.. and don't get him started on the hair pulling..

He had been so rough.. but it was only a few minutes.

That is.. until he got older. Stronger. And finally strangled him back, both hands wrapped around his neck, watching the life drain from his eyes. Simon had snapped over the edge when he started turning blue, and the man still didn't let up. He was trying to hurt him on purpose, and Simon knew that now.

Luckily they had chopped it up to self defense, stir craziness, a fight amongst brothers, etc. What ever excuse they used, Simon didn't utter a single word of their agreement to anyone, worried he'd be whipped or starved as punishment.

The only reason he didn't get introuble was because the regional general wanted the same thing. The only difference is, He wasn't as rough. In fact, he'd kiss him, tell him he was pretty, and even touched him. Felt odd, really, being fucked and told he loved him by someone who had a wife and traded her resources for his?Morally, Simon knew it was wrong, but he needed the food... Esspecially after being mandatorily admitted into the Gaurd for exhibiting such natural fighting skills..

But then he died in battle, leaving him with fewer resources. Didn't take long before other soldiers heard about him and started trading meals for company. Often, the company was just his mouth. Others it was his hand, or his body if the whole night. Anything to stay fed.

Multiple. Sometimes, even several at once did Simon service. It just depended on what they were willing to trade. On how desperate Simon was not to starve to death.. It's the only reason he had the muscle mass and bit of padding that he did now.

Coming back to reality, Simon hoped that Grace was gentle like that. He hoped that he would kiss him and help him, too.

So far, Simon has been on the ship for weeks and just now was Grace in the mood for his company in bed.

Hearing foot steps and a familiar call, he pulls his legs up, trying to look appealing. Fear in his heart told him if he fucked this up, Grace would throw him overboard. He needed to do this.. to behave.. to stay still... He just hoped Grace didn't mind his body how it was..

"Simon! Where are yo- AAHHH!! SORRY I- I should have knocked!" He shouts, dipping back behind the door frame after seeing Simon nude.. on his cot..

"Are you changing?? What are you doing in my room!?" He asks, covering his eyes despite still hiding.

Rocky, who had come bellowing in after the scream, stopped, curious yet appauled. "Simon not have clothes on. Disgust!" He says, turning to roll out. "Yuck!"

"Not helping, Rock! Thats not nice!" Grace called.

Simon frowns, unable to say anything. Had he really been that disgusting? Grace had seen his body before... before most of his wounds healed even. He's seen him much more gross than this.

Still though, tears whell in his eyes. Oh great... he thought again, now Grace would deem him unworthy of Mary's resources and throw him out.

"I-i can turn around.. in the dark you'll barley be able to see anything.. just.. Just take your glasses off." He says, spewing ideas, trying not to let tears fall. They had hated that. There's been times they even cut his rations because he cried or squirmed.. they didn't like cry babies.. they wanted him to be still and behave. He clutches the side of the metal cot, knuckles turning white.

Before Grace could say anything, Simon speaks up. "I-ill be still! I can behave.. I won't move I promise. Im tough, you can do what ever you want to me!"

Simon hangs his head like a dog who got caught in the trash, fearful and filled with worry. "..Please... Just... don't choke me.." He whispers, voice breaking towards the end.

"What? No!! Simon just- please put your clothes back on!"

"B-but you said you needed company in bed tonight! Please, Gr- Ryland.. I need you to do this. I promise. I won't fuss at all-" Simon continues. "I'm not worthless I swear! I-i might not be as smart as you but I'm good at a lot of things! Please.. Ryland, please.. I just want to live.."

'Live' had a crack so high that Ryland knew instantly he was crying.

"You're not worthless! Who told you that!?" He asks, "You are NOT worthless!" He repeated.

"But- I just-"

"Please put your pants back on, it'll make all this a lot easier.."

Ashamed with himself, Simon puts his pants back on, sniffing as tears fell onto the cloth. Grace had given him everything. Food, a cot next to the window to watch the stars, medical, and entertaining books to read. Grace had even let him place the plants in his room..

He wouldn't give him all of that for free...

Would he?

God, maybe he was so ugly now that even Grace didn't want him.. hell, even Rocky said he was disgusting.

"Are they on??" Grace asks.

"..Yes.." He whispers, just a peep.

Grace comes around the corner, quickly coming to him, grabbing his hand.

Simon flinches, tensing but stays still. Here it comes.. he definitely would beat his ass for this wouldn't he? For being so disgusting..

A second passed.

Then two.

Then three.

And four.

Slowly opening his eyes, Simon blinked. Grace was...hugging him.. not hurting him.

"I'm so sorry, Simon..I didn't mean to lead you on or make you think I would.. yaknow.. You're my friend.. I.. you would never have to do that. Ever!"

Still tense, Simon slowly brought his hand to his lower back. ".. Never?" What kind of sick trick was this?

"Never! Not in a million years." He confirms.

Simon sniffles again, trying to look up at him but his face was deeply lodged in his chest. He was quiet.

Grace rubbed his back. "Is.. is that okay with you? I mean- I know you mentioned something about paying me back but I thought you were just saying that because its an expression of gratitude.."

"No.. you.. you said you wanted company.. in bed.. I.. I thought.."

Grace now pulls away, holding his shoulders. "Simon, look at me. Look in my eyes.. I will NEVER make you pay me back. Esspecially with your body. For anything. Thats not right.. You're my friend."

Simon blinks like he was talking to him in a different language.

"What I meant was, I wanted some company because.. well because of nightmares. I was hoping the closeness would make them go away. And since that one-" he throws his thumb towards were Rocky ran off ealier, "Doesn't sleep when I sleep. I thought it would be nice to.. yaknow... cuddle."

"What?" Simon has another memory of the second man, the general, had let him stay for cuddles once. It was one of the only times he had actually had fun for once.

"I-its okay if you don't want too, I was just offering. Its fine, we dont have to-"

"No! I do...I..I want to cuddle." Simon stated. "Please..?"

"Are you sure? And just to clarify, No sex. Just cuddling and sleeping.. got it?"

Simon nods, quicckly wiping his eyes.

"Promise?"

"Pinky."

Their pinkies lock together, shaking, confirming the process of a promise.

"Simon?" Grace asks.

"Hm?"

"If I ever in my life try to....try to- crap.. you know what I'm saying. If ever someone that looks like and sounds like me asks you for.. for-" he whispers as if there is children around- "sex"- normal tone returning. "Then run as far as you can. Because that's not me."

Simon grins, less on edge then before, but still in the back of his mind kept that idea. One day, if Grace asked, he was to run. Captians orders.

Now, later that night, with multiple garments of clothing on, Simon's only job was to hold crush Ryland. To lay his head in his chest, litsen to his beats, and to fall asleep whenever he saw fit. Let's just say he wasn't strong enough to stay up for the past 3 minutes. Thats all it took to change someones life.