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@johnslack @krystadripdrop I think we just found our live-action frieza

“Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney’s funniest bit” is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it

The overlooking of “The One Thing You Can’t Replace” is a criminal act.

HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES????

Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever

The responses to this post have been so amazing because it’s reminded me, and I’m sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd

okay, but eighth graders

….. could be a nursery.

being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi

“Why buy the cow, question mark?”

THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE

LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS

hello? HUSH

Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.

And also with you!

Are we gonna ignore “FUCK DA POLICE”

He is the truest humor for our generation

The one that originally made me almost crash my car was “oh, yeah, well my favorite foods are lobster and Skittles.” (In comparing Scareface to The Godfather)

SCATTER!

in the 1940s the word “boner” used to mean “huge mistake” and it still pretty much means that

how the fuck would you know that

i read these to my dad and he literally fell off his chair laughing and is now purple in the face

Honestly, this is so accurate.

lmaooooo

Me to literally anyone who doesn’t meet my jokes with jokes of their own

Griffin: Somewhere in the distance, Ludacris smiles.