You Are Fate Touched

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

children are so fucking funny man. i just overheard a kid go “i just learned a new way to pinch, wanna see it? it hurts a lot more!” followed by a loud, notably pained scream

did a bit of driving through the state of georgia today and wound up driving through a small town that i later discovered was called newborn, which is an odd name but doesn’t technically have anything wrong with it, except for the fact that i nearly gave myself whiplash doing a double-take at a building sign advertising NEWBORN TAXIDERMY

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

Since tumblr is rightfully loving this one, I feel obligated to mention that I ran into the same guy again on the last day of the convention and told him Scribe was really entertained by this, and he said that the night before he'd also really gotten one of the hotel waitresses, who informed him he could take a seat wherever and he replied "Oh, no thanks, I brought my own"