1. “No one wants to hear my opinion. Which is why I am not expressing an opinion, I am stating a fact!” 

2. “You sweet summer child. You babe swaddled in the cashmere blanket of ignorance. You ask too little of me.” 

3. “I am going to throw myself into the sea.” 

4. “Magicians are always evil.” 

5. “There’s Red Bull in this mug.” 

6. “Technically not murder. Definitely bad.” 

7. “We should make that creepy animatronic robot sentient.” 

8. “The Red Bull’s wearing off.” 

9. “How dare you jettison my gift!” 

10. “You should be wary of anyone who builds their personality around swords.” 

11. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go throw myself into the ocean now.” 

12. “Why are vampires always the hot monster? Isn’t it someone else’s turn?” 

13. “Yes, I know my hair smells great. I’m trying to sleep.” 

14. “I love dogs! Literally nothing’s going to get done today.” 

15. “If I can’t be accurate, I sure as hell am gonna to be extra.”

16. “It looks like a slice of brain.” 

17. “Never change. Stick to what you know. Don’t try and get better in life. Those are the things I learned today.”

18. “Humans are real squishy, really, when you think about it.” 

19. “_____, take fucking notes! I just saved your ass with MONOPOLY!”

20. “God has cursed me for my hubris, and my work is never finished.” 

21. “I hear your questions constantly. They come to me in my dreams like a prophet receiving visions from an angry god.” 

22. “Now that you’re jazzed and ready to go, time to fail.” 

23. “You don’t have to be good at cooking to do this, you just have to be good at arson.” 

24. “This whole god-damned suit is so tight. I feel like a Christmas ham.”