they tell me my words are beautiful, I don’t know why
but what they don’t know, what you don’t know
is that I stare at this blank fucking paper
and all I feel is rage, anger, and frustration
Because I wrote down these things and it never comes close to what I feel
If actions could be translated to words
I would write me shouting in my fucking car
because your favorite song came up on my god damn Pandora station again
I would write me standing in the shower while the scolding water burns my skin as I try to think of the exact moment I lost you
Then write me shutting off the water in total defeat because I realized I never had you
I would write how a fire starts in my chest whenever I see a picture of you and her
I’ve never envied a stranger so much before
I would write how my eyes burn as I continue to stare at the god damned ceiling at 3am, missing you
Being up that late was only fun when you were around
I wish you were still around
I don’t even know how to fucking end this
There’s no poetic way to say I feel like fucking shit.