emotional support

[ MASTERLIST OF MY POSTS AND WRITING ]

hey! my name is ruby / red and i'm just chilling on dsmpblr.

this blog is a safe space for all kinds of character enthusiasts, sympathizers, apologists and enjoyers. we all love the same storyline and put our hearts into analysing it and i think that's great!

this blog will be mostly dream smp writing, analysis and essays - i will ramble about c!dream though, especially when new lore comes out.

warnings for my blog are the usual sensitive topics that are talked about when covering c!dream, and i'm also very critical of l’manberg!

i use #dreblr for c!dream positive / sympathetic posts - i encourage you to use the tag as well and browse through it when you need a bit of c!dream positivity!

feel free to send asks as requests for me to cover or discuss a topic - it might take me a bit to get to it though, so please be patient! feel free to check in if your ask hasn’t been answered for a long while.

i have found out about a finale ever having existed roughly an hour ago, through clicking on something on accident. that’s why i’m sharing my thoughts now!

dream smp, after i left the fandom, left a bitter taste in my mouth. i got into discourse at a time when i needed help, not to have heated debates with others, so most of the time i typed with my mind blurry and my whole body trembling. i wasn’t a rational person when i was fifteen, i’ll admit.

closure is such a word to use in this situation considering its connotations in the fandom, but i absolutely needed it, to the point where i wished for everything to crash and burn because i didn’t think it would actually end. but they finished it.

i don’t follow the cc’s any more than i do the series, meaning at all, so keep in mind i have no idea what is going on other than what i’ve gathered on an adrenaline rush in the past thirty minutes about the finale.

it was better than i expected! and yeah it was rushed, but the idea and the passion were there and that’s really what counts when the ones making it aren't corporations but just people excited about the story they’re telling.

and the story they were telling was more than i could've hoped for. it doesn't matter who was right, because none of us can change the ending no matter what we think, and misinterpreting or calling it wrong in representing reality (as if that has ever been the point, as if it still wasn’t more complex and human than what should be “correct”) is just the idiot’s denial.

but i personally am just… satisfied. it’s actually, really over, and there’s no uncertainty to the fact that throughout all my stumbling around i did decode a part of what made these characters what they are. and i am happy this was the way i got to know them, no matter how much i got hurt in the process by people who didn’t want me to; because i can’t take that back anyways so i might as well remember the ones who were kind to me instead.

i don’t really care about the characters anymore, those feelings are dead and buried, but past me would’ve been happy, and if some people are not, they can just find a different story to enjoy. turns out there’s a lot of really good ones that aren’t this one.

but yeah! sometimes things just happen, and people just understand, and in its own reality it’s the note these characters ended on and i think it’s awesome that they did. i think it's a happy ending they deserved, and they deserved better but it’s the only happy ending that is marginally realistic and somehow it treats everyone fairly, so i’d say that’s enough. i’d say that it was bittersweet in the best way possible, and sweet in all the ways that mattered.

WE WON. WE WERE RIGHT STRATEGIST!DREAM IS REAL THE FINALE WAS STAGED BOTH C! AND CC!DREAM ARE GENIUSES WE WERE RIGHT I WAS RIGHT AND WE PICKED UP ON IT AND BELIEVED IT WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID I SAID I'D DIE ON THAT HILL AND I DIDN'T BECAUSE I WAS RIGHT BLUEBELL APPLE SNOWY AIDAN ALL THOSE PEOPLE WERE RIGHT BECAUSE THEY WATCHED THE LORE AND THEY ANALYSED AND UNDERSTOOD IT AND THEY ARE THE SMARTEST PEOPLE IN THIS FANDOM

C!DREAM IS HORRIBLE AND HE'S A BASTARD AND HE WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING AND I WILL WATCH IT BURN WITH SO MUCH JOY I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN MY LIFE I AM SHAKING I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK THIS IS AMAZING

HE IS TERRIFYING HE IS A GENIUS HE'S HAD A PLAN THIS WHOLE TIME AND STILL HAS HE IS A MASTERMIND HE'S PLANNED ALL OF THIS AND PLAYED EVERYONE FOR A FOOL BECAUSE HE'S THE SMARTEST PERSON ON THE SERVER. I DON'T CARE WHAT MORALLY WRONG ATROCITIES HE COMMITS HE CAN STAY A VILLAIN FOREVER I DON'T CARE ALL I KNOW IS THE MAN I'VE BEEN STANNING FOR A YEAR NOW HAS TURNED OUT TO BE EXACTLY THE INTERPRETATION WE HAD OF HIM AND HE'S BRILLIANT AND I LOVE HIM AND WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT HIM AND WE READ HIM LIKE A BOOK WHILE EVERYONE ELSE DENIED IT BECAUSE THEY'RE IDIOTS BUT WE WERE RIGHT AND I HAVE NEVER FELT MORE VINDICATED.

RIVALS AND "SYMPATHETIC ARC" AND REDEMPTION AND HEALING AND ENDERSMILE CAN DIE AND BURN I WILL NOT CARE I HAVE WON I WAS RIGHT AND MOST OF THE FANDOM WERE WRONG BECAUSE THEY CANNOT ANALYSE A CHARACTER THEY DISLIKE PROPERLY AND MY FRIENDS WERE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING I AM MANIC THIS WAS ALL I NEEDED IN LIFE EVERYTHING EVERYONE'S EVER SAID ABOUT C!DREAM THAT MADE ME DOUBT MYSELF HAS VANISHED

C!DREAM IS OUT OF PANDORA'S VAULT AND I HAVE BEEN FREED AS WELL TODAY AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS FEELING

THE PEOPLE WHO DENIED IT CAN SUCK IT WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE BIGGEST PLOT TWIST IN THE ENTIRE LORE BECAUSE WE KNOW THE CHARACTER SO WELL WE WERE ABLE TO REALIZE THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON WHILE OTHERS TOOK IT AT FACE VALUE AND GOT TRICKED BY THE FICTIONAL FRICKING CHARACTER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I’m leaving the fandom space, for now. I’ll still be around watching lore and probably analyzing on my own, and I’ll co-write videos for the “Animagician” channel on YouTube, (go check it out!) but this is it for me at the moment.

And, to be clear, I made this decision weeks ago, my friends whom I discussed this with can confirm, and for no specific reason, even though the time since then has been frankly so full of sudden controversies that it didn’t make sticking to my decision any more difficult.

The comfortable corner I was huddled up in was cool, but the community at large was really taking a toll on my mental health. It took a while to realize it was not really safe for people with hyperfixations or anxiety, thanks to its size and general targeted toxicity. As much as I wish I could change that, I really can’t control the way others act, and trying to deal with that that on top of everything going on in my life was never going to work out for me. If I’m gonna be honest, I need a little space to breathe, please listen to Life By the Sea it’s a banger song.

School is also starting in four days and I am going to be graduating and sending in applications to university. This year is going to be absolute hell for me and if I want to pass, I’m going to have to delve into studying somehow. With my crippling Tumblr addiction, I really wouldn’t have been able to handle that.

And since my askbox is going to be closed now, I also want to encourage the people and amazing analysts who hang out on my blog to go ahead and make their own accounts to post things! You all are incredibly talented, and hiding all that behind the anon icon is a crime. That being said, I will miss you all a lot! Opal and blue are also really nice colors.

Speaking of missing people, how about I just don’t miss anyone? I’m starting a Dreblr discord is what I mean. Just comment under this post that you wanna be in it, and I’ll send you an invite from my new account! Might take a bit, but I’ll check this post regularly, and I wouldn’t have been able to give you the interaction role anyways if I was offline, so that’s just how it is. I know there’s a lot of c!Dream positive discords already, but I just wanted to take my bubble of people with me with no real interaction with the fandom outside of it, so this was my solution.

Overall I’m pretty sure I won’t be gone forever. Maybe if new lore comes up that pacifies the fandom a bit and makes them less aggressive towards certain types of people, I’ll come back, but that’s going to take a long while and a lot of new canon to come and go. Consider this a hiatus, that while long, is very likely temporary.

You have probably seen that the recap I posted recently ended with “Thank you.”. That’s because it was a goodbye gift to also thank the community for being there for me. So this is from me, for you. I was waiting for the video to be posted, and here we go. Check it out if you haven’t yet, it’s a resource I’ve worked very hard on along with @beloved-blue who watched two of the vods when I though I was going to lose it if I watched another one, and I hope it can be useful to whoever finds it.

And as for people who were checking my blog out because they liked my posts and wanted more, you still can see more content from me! If you liked my takes or analysis, or Hermitcraft posts, or jokes, or whatever it is, this list has like, 200 of those! It’s a whole lot of content you can go through to get the entire ✨ ruby-whistler experience ✨ , and I apologize in advance.

Well, this has certainly been a ride. Be back in a couple of months, or more. This community better still be here if I ever come back, alright?