Arbitrary Control Over a Pointless Contest

I believe deep in my bones that Ilya and Shane both indulge in private romantic fantasies but they're polar opposites. Ilya is daydreaming about kissing under the stars and holding hands and wearing each other's hoodies while traveling the world together. Meanwhile Shane has constructed an elaborate cohesive ongoing narrative where he single-handedly saves Ilya from certain death. In his daydreams that man is running into burning buildings, escaping tsunamis, taking down shooters, and fighting stalkers. He's walking through hurricanes, wrestling wild animals, and engaging in deadly highspeed car chases. Just the most insane intense shit you can imagine. And Ilya is lying there next to him like Yay I love cuddling my boring husband :) while Shane vividly fantasizes about Ilya calling him a smart good brave boy for saving him from psychological thriller villains. Do u see the vision. Because Shane does.

ilya and svetlana's friendship is so good they're childhood friends, they're lovers, ilya is her gay best friend who is also a straight bro, svetlana is his only voice of reason, they fuck, they do girls night, they pick hookups for each other, sometimes they can't stand each other, they would kill for each other

Oh no sweetheart fleshlights don't talk back.

ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds

No matter what Yuna and David want their Grandparent names to be, I firmly believe that they end up getting called Yuyu and Grandpa.

Cute