Rubi, the writer

one horse here is really hogging the brain cell

REVEAL YOURSELF

the way the person in the back fake kicked at the gray horse took me OUT

@identifying-horses-in-posts

Sure, those are all horses. Don't worry about it.

[IDs: Three digital realistic paintings of a black cat standing with its face very close to the camera. In the first painting, the cat is newly stepping into view with a "stomp!". In the second one, its mouth is wide open, teeth easily visible as it yowls a loud "meoooow!". In the third one, it stands with its mouth closed and eyes opened round innocently, with a question mark on its head. End IDs]

When I was a little boy, girls used to just do random cartwheels for no reason. Then one day, they stopped. Now that I am a man, no women randomly do cartwheels. This is because society is evil and killed the cartwheel impulse in their soul. They don't even spin horizontally anymore. It's fucked up.

Being an Eridian scientist has to be so funny. You train your entire life as a biologist, becoming specialized in your field, probably giving lectures or educational speeches to other Eridians, and then the star savior Rocky comes home with his weird pet dog. Your job is now to cultivate food so the weird dog who is the age of average baby doesn’t die. The dog also saved the stars. Your job is making dog food out of the dog. You also learn that you and the dog have the same job. You are the happiest scientist on Erid.

Y'all ever think of what the person responsible for Rocky's voice bank must've felt when those videos finally got to earth? Imagine doing a voice acting gig for a bank voice on a computer or whatever that you eventually completely forget about, only for it to one day come back to you when the FIRST intellectual alien lifeform that a human being has ever met decides to use it as their chosen voice. The mild horror. The exhilaration. The emotional punch. This is it. This is your magnum opus. You have given a human voice to a sentient rock and it will NEVER get better than this. Also, they picked you over MERYL STREEP?!?!