a skywalker ;

In all her heartbreak she finds herself wishing desperately for her brother. It has been a long time since she saw him last, and she has heard her parents saying his name in angry whispers more than once now, but in her young mind she knows that if he were here this would not be happening. Ben would be able to think of some plan to stop this, or perhaps they would not even be here.. They had sent him away too, though, to uncle Luke; hadn’t they wanted him either? At least, however, they had left him with someone he knew. 

                   “Where’s Ben? Can’t I go stay with him instead?”  

The question comes breathless, her voice hitching uncomfortably and still laden with tears. It does not matter what her parents say, or how happy and okay they try to sound, there is nothing that can make this situation better. Her family do not want her, so they are leaving her here on this strange uncomfortable planet for who knows how long. What if they never come back? The thought makes her feel physically sick, and a slight groaning noise joins in with the sobbing

Her parents are too close, for she is starting to find it slightly hard to breath. With all of her six year old strength she tries to push them away, trying to ignore the painful feeling of being alone without their arms around her. 

❛ Ben – ❜ her voice grows hard, and a frown appears on her forehead, ❛ he’s with Uncle Luke. ❜ LIE. ❛ He’s not been feeling very well, but we’re going to help him, and as soon as we’ve done that, your father and I will come for you. Rey, I PROMISE, we will be back. ❜

At least, she hopes so. There is no telling how Ben will react, or how long it will take them to right his wrongs. There is always the possibility of–––– Her hand squeezes Han’s a little desperately. No. This is for the best.

Oh she doesn’t like this, she doesn’t like this one bit. Her mothers hands are on her arms, and her father is talking softly, right to her. These are things that should be comforting, they should be slowing her heart and making everything okay but they’re not and she does not understand why. Maybe it is the terrible look in her mother’s eyes or the not-smile-smile on her dad’s face; either way Rey feels her stomach begin to drop, worry, fear and sadness curling up somewhere next to her heart as she listens to their words. 

                                          They are sending her away. 

Well, leaving her behind, technically, but she is too young and upset to make the distinction. All she truly understands is that for some reason her parents, her parents who she loves and trusts more than anyone in the entire galaxy, do not want her anymore. Oh they’re saying they’ll be back, that it’s too keep her safe, but how can it be? How can she possibly understand this? 

As the heartbreaking realizations sink in her small lips begin to wobble and dark eyes fill with tears. 

             “No.”  

A childish response, but at the end of the day that’s all she is: a terrified six year old. Quite suddenly the tearful eyes and wobbly lip develops into full blown sobbing. Tears roll down her cheeks, sobs tearing from her chest leaving her breathless; the picture of childhood misery. For a moment she considers running away from them. Perhaps if she runs and hides somewhere, they will decide that it is not worth the trouble to leave her here. Or perhaps they will see that she is so fast and sneaky and clever that they actually want to keep her. Or-and this thought only makes her sob harder-perhaps they will be happy, perhaps running away will only save them the trouble of abandoning somewhere in the sand dunes 

In reality, however, she does the exact opposite. Scared and hurt and betrayed as she is, they are still her parents and she is still only a child. Without even thinking about it she finds herself rushing to her mother, clinging to her as tight as she possibly can. Abandonment or not her mother is still the best comfort she knows; even if she’s the reason she needs comfort in the first place. 

Carefully, she looks to her husband, acceptance barely visible through her tears. An answer to his earlier plea: we are doing the right thing. She hopes that if she can convince him, she can convince herself. But she doesn’t like him seeing her tears. If he touches her again, she’s not sure she will be able to keep from shaking, and then all will be lost.

As if to hide from reality, Leia rests her face against her daughter’s head. She takes a few deep breaths. They don’t stop the tears, but she doubts anything will. Perhaps when she has run out of them, and then she will sob hollowly, no doubt. She cannot imagine smiling again.

❛ I know. ❜ Somehow – by some miracle – she sounds almost happy. As if this is nothing but a small vacation for her daughter, as if they will – with absolute certainty – see each other in a few days. ❛ You are good, Rey. And I will miss you very much. ❜ Her voice finally breaks on the last word, so she decides not to say any more. She kisses the top of Rey’s head and fondles the air to find Han’s hand.