i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

When all you have is a handsaw, every problem looks like a beautiful lady in a box. And you have a magician outfit. And people are watching.

oh god shes collapsed someone get her a thai iced tea and a bowl of tofu pad see ew STAT!!!!!

I just tend my garden (this tumblr) and mind my business.

A juvenile bug isn't called a larva until it reaches the surface. While it's still underground it's called a margma

hey man i see the projector in your mind's eye casting the image of a beautiful self indulgent fantasy over my silhouette so i just wanted to remind you before you try any funny business that when its battery dies it's just going to be me here

no, YOU have to do it scared. IM going to fruitlessly wait for the perfect moment forever

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

Lotus Flowers at Kodai Hasu no Sato 2021

I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually