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I haven't blogged for a while, and not because I've been quiet.  In fact, quite the opposite.  I've done some amazing weddings recently, including a Star Wars themed wedding with Storm-Troopers and the lot!

However, I've made a huge decision in the past couple of months, which has been difficult to make for a number of reasons, but one that I think is ultimately beneficial for my future.  As those of you who have worked with me know, I'm Australian (Tasmanian, to be precise) and I've decided that early 2015 I'm going to start looking at moving back to my mother country.

In Australia, celebrants have similar powers to registrars.  The law there is fantastic; celebrants can marry couples anywhere, and have the power to conduct the legal and the ceremonial aspect of the ceremonies.  Now... if only they could bring in equal rights for same-sex marriages.

I'll be starting my training for my Diploma in Wedding Celebrancy soon, via distance learning, and I hope that my three years of conducting many incredible weddings will put me in good stead.  

I'm nervous about starting again, but I really hope that there's an appetite for a celebrant like me in Australia.  I'll be moving to Brisbane in Queensland area, so I look forward to trying to make my mark there.

In the interim, I'm still taking bookings for London/UK based weddings.  I have no availability for August or September, but I do have some availability for October, November, December and January, so please contact me to check dates.

Toodle pip!

I've been lucky enough to do quite a few outdoor weddings now, from public parks to private gardens.  There's something about being married surrounded by nature which adds something very unique and special to even the most understated of ceremonies.

Quite a few couples I've worked with have married in the garden of one of their parents.  It's incredible how even a fairly standard sized suburban garden can be transformed into something magical.  Sadly the weather fairies can't always be trusted to deliver on the day of your wedding, so you may want to consider a marquee or some kind of cover if there's no 'plan b'.

Some other outdoor venues to consider can be

1) Public parks.  London is spoilt for the amount of public parks we have within this city.  From the busy larger parks to the smaller suburban areas, there's a huge variety on offer.  Always checked with the local authority where the park is located if they allow ceremonies to take place; this will sometimes depend on the size and/or disruption to the rest of the park users.

2) Fields or farm-land.  Think of who you know, and who knows someone who might know someone who has a field or farm that they would be happy for you to use!  I conducted a wedding in the school grounds where the bride's father used to teach.  Obviously she had to ask permission from the school and it's governors, but it was an unusual, and particularly sentimental and touching ceremony due to her father's connection with the school.

3) Heritage listed houses, castles, or mansions.  A venue doesn't have to be registered for a celebrant to conduct the ceremony, so you don't just have to look at registered heritage listed buildings.  Places which don't usually offer weddings may be pleasantly surprised if you approach them and ask if you can hold your ceremony in their garden. 

4) Pub gardens.  There are some beautiful pub gardens around, and some are very large.  Plus you'll have the added bonus of toilets and facilities being available for your guests - and refreshments, of course!

5) Amongst ruins.  I married a couple in front of the ruins of an abbey, and the mystery and history of the surrounding area added an entirely new element to their ceremony which would not have been able to be replicated elsewhere. 

At least one in ten couples I work with have a parent who would prefer for their child to hold their wedding in a church, even if they are not necessarily a religious family.  You can understand why parents feel this way; many may only ever have been to church weddings and therefore are worried that anything else would not feel like a wedding.

I have two daughters, and we enjoy conversations where we fantasise about the day they marry. We talk about what music they’ll be walking down the aisle to, side by side with their father.  We talk about who will be their bridesmaids, flower girls, ring bearers and readers.  We talk about their vows, their promises, their exchanging of rings.  We talk about what music they’d like for their processional and recessional.  And we talk about whether their mother will conduct the ceremony.

The point I’m trying to make is that a celebrant led wedding still has all the recognisable aspects of a church wedding; parents often feed back to me (with surprise and relief)  how ‘normal’ the ceremony was – and how it was even better than a church wedding as it was so personal to the couple.

If you’re looking for a semi-religious ceremony, I’m happy to include religion in my ceremonies and have done so on many occasions.  If you’re looking for a church-style venue, there are some around. The beautiful St Stephen’s Church in Hampstead is a deconsecrated church which now hosts community activities as well as weddings.  Alternatively, there’s the Chapel at the Asylum in Peckham which has stunning stained glass windows and a fascinating history, and is currently used as an art space, as well as a host for weddings.  The London Symphony Orchestra at St Lukes, offers a deconsecrated church in Central London for private hire, and a couple of Tabernacles are also available for private hire: Tabernacle W11 and The Tab Shoreditch

Don’t forget that if you use a celebrant you are not restricted to licensed venues only.  When searching, don’t only look for ‘Wedding Venues’ as many whom do not hold a license will not advertise as such. The world is your oyster when you use a celebrant, so think outside of the square and your perfect venue will become clear to you.

Still being a relatively 'newby' onto the wedding scene, having started my business just over two years ago, I didn't really know what to expect when other professionals spoke of the 'wedding season'.

Well, I do now...

I have just spent the busiest, happiest, unique few months of my life, with weddings, weddings, weddings galore. I've met so many amazing people, visited some incredible venues, and shared in one of the most important days that many people will experience with a range of generous, kind and friendly brides and grooms. The fact that they have let me, someone who started their journey of planning their ceremony with them as a complete stranger, come into their lives and for them to so generously share their stories with me is an honour and a privilege.

For me, one of the highest compliments I can be paid is when a wedding guests comes up to me afterwards and says ‘That was great – you captured them so well.’  Even better is when a guest thinks I’ve been a long-term friend of the couple, and I must admit, there are many couples who I go into a slight mourning afterwards as I miss them! That’s one of the real differences between celebrants and registrars.  A relationship is established between us, and I’m always on hand for any questions, concerns, clarifications or reassurances.  I get to know you, and I deliver something personal, not off-the-shelf.

I’ve worked at some outstanding venues this season too, from the very impressive such as Cliveden House and Botley’s Mansion, to highly personal venues, chosen for sentimental reasons such as the school grounds where the bride’s father had taught for many years to the gardens of the groom’s family home.  I’ve worked at some quintessentially English Country Inns such as Crown Inn Amersham and the Olde Bell Hurley, to places whose current use belies a history full of interest, such as the old car factory at Ladbroke Hall and an ex-Tabernacle in Shoreditch  

Whether you’re planning a wedding or renewal of vows with only a handful of guests, or one which is on a much larger scale, I’m always happy to meet for a no-obligation discussion to see whether I can help make your perfect day a reality.

I am so fortunate in this job to learn something new each time I do a ceremony.  Some of ‘my’ best ideas come from the couple themselves and I always have my ears open to interesting ways to them make their guests feel a part of their ceremony, rather than merely observers.   

One bride I worked with had many close female friends and found it hard to choose bridesmaids.  In the end, she chose her sister, and celebrated her supportive female friendships by giving them an orchid to wear around their wrist during the ceremony.  I mentioned in the ceremony that these women had provided love and support to the bride, not only during her preparation for the wedding, but throughout her life. They were distinguished amongst the many guests by the wearing of the orchid, a flower whose meaning includes love, beauty, and strength, all qualities shared between the bride and these female friends.

Another idea I was given by a couple was including a ring blessing into the ceremony.  Both the bride and groom had come from religious backgrounds and despite not being religious themselves, they wanted to acknowledge that many family and friends amongst their guests were.  Prior to the arrival of the bridal party, I invited all their guests, once seated, to spend a moment blessing both rings, which were tied with colourful ribbons to a cushion.  For those who were religious, they could spend a moment asking for God to support them throughout their journey; for those who were not, they could think about what support they could give to the couple during their marriage.

I also worked with a couple who both had young children from previous relationships.  Their wedding was not only about them coming together, but of these two families joining as one.  The five children’s ages ranged from three to fifteen, and we found a role which chose each and everyone one of them.  The youngest boy walked the bride in.  The youngest girl had the rings tied around her wrist and brought them up for the exchange.  The three eldest children wrote and read a reading which they had all written together for their mum and dad.  Even the family dog got involved at one point, jumping on the stage and nearly stealing the show!

How far in advance should you book your celebrant?  Well, that completely depends.  The shortest period of time I've ever had between an enquiry and delivering the ceremony was just under two weeks, and the longest has been 18 months.

The shortest one was due to the fact that the bride's family priest has decided at the last minute he wasn't happy about blessing their marriage (the couple had done the legal aspect of their marriage abroad); this was despite having agreed to do it many months beforehand.  The poor bride rang me in desperation, hoping I would be able to help, and was extremely relieved to find out that I could.  I must admit, I really felt for her - what a horrible situation to be placed in at such short notice. 

To give you an indication of my bookings, my busiest months are June, July, August and September.  The most popular days I'm booked are, unsurprisingly, Saturday's, with Friday's being the next most popular, then Sunday's.  However, I still have some availability for some days in these months, and its always worth sending me a quick email to check if I still have a date free.  And usually if I'm booked up, I will suggest another member of the Fellowship of Professional Celebrants to you.

So, in answer to the question 'How far in advance to book', I would suggest you enquire as soon as you've chosen your date.  I'm always happy to pencil in dates until we've had an initial meeting, and you've decided whether you'd like to use me.  Always feel free to give me a ring to ask me any questions you may have too - I'm always happy to help.

I get a few enquiries about conducting weddings abroad, mainly from clients who are based in London or the home counties.  There are real benefits of using a celebrant from your own country and although there is the added cost of travel and accommodation for them, this can be money well spent.

Establishing a relationship with your celebrant is very important.  As they will be writing, and conducting, your ceremony, they need to understand elements of your personality.  Important issues I always consider include:

Humour - do the couple want some light-relief within their ceremony?  Is their humour style sophisticated, observational, slap-stick or dry?  How much humour do they want? 

Spirituality and religion- are the couple spiritual at all?  Are either of them religious, or brought up within a religion? If so, do they want  this acknowledged?

Traditional versus modern - I have done ceremonies which have been very traditional through to those which are full of surprises and very unique.  Getting the right mix is a skill; ceremonies can be full of surprises yet still be deeply moving and romantic.  Equally, a cermony can hold many of the traditional elements but still be unique and entertaining.

Their story - I sensitively ask questions about the couple's history; how they met, where, first impressions, etc.  Quite often this not only gives me a back story, but also allows me observe their humour and their connection with each other. 

Aspirations - a ceremony should be as enjoyable, if not more so, as the reception.  I work hard and will write, re-write and re-write again, a ceremony for a couple until I've fully met their expectations and aspirations for their ceremony.  I want them to be happy, and that comes with establishing a relationship with them.

So, as you can see from above, it can be tempting to use a celebrant who is based in the country where you will be travelling to.  However, the majority of work I do with clients is prior to the ceremony in the months (even years) leading up to their special day, and feedback from clients is often regarding the relief in the knowledge that they are in a safe pair of hands.

This is the reaction I get from about 95% of people when I tell them I’m a celebrant.  Some think I’m confessing about my lack of love life (celibate) or I’m a celebrity (incidentally, my celebrity look-a-likey is Kirsty Ally… during her slimmer days, I hasten to add).

For those of you who don’t know, a celebrant is a person who conducts weddings, civil partnerships, renewal of vows, baby namings, funerals… basically anything which requires someone to lead a service or ceremony. 

I mainly concentrate on the weddings, civil partnerships and renewal of vows side of things; some of my fellow celebrants only conduct funerals.  I was trained by the wonderful Terri Shanks, who is an inspiration to anyone thinking of joining this amazing profession.  Terri knows everything there is to know about celebrancy, and has a world-wide network of other professionals, including Dally Messenger, the founder of the Civil Celebrant movement. Terri herself is the founder of the Fellowship of Professional Celebrants, which I am a member.  Unfortunately in this country, anyone can set themselves up to be a celebrant, without any training or signing up to a code of ethics.  Being a member of the Fellowship means that I have signed up to a code of ethics, I have professional indemnity insurance, and I am fully trained.

A lot of people get confused by the difference between celebrants and registrars when it comes to a wedding or civil partnership.  I’ve done up this table which hopefully helps somewhat in explaining the difference.

 Registrar

Delivers an off the shelf ceremony

Cannot allow any religious music or readings

Is allocated to your ceremony with no input or choice from you

Only deliver in registry office or registered venues. Registered venues have to be permanent static structures with four walls and a roof

Deliver a standard ceremonies which last only 10 to 15 minutes

Arrives just before ceremony starts

Will not do a rehearsal

Will stand with the couple in front of them

Can charge up to £585 to deliver an off the shelf service in a registered venue.

Celebrant

Delivers a fully bespoke ceremony

Will allow any religious music, readings, rituals or references

Is chosen by you and develops a relationship in the run up to your ceremony

Can hold ceremony in your garden, your favourite park, on a boat, in a hot air balloon, on a bus, by a pool, in another country, in a marquee, in the grounds of a stately home – the choices are never-ending

Can deliver a service which is as short or as long as you would like

Arrives an hour prior to ceremony and ensures all readers, bridal party members including best men, women, etc are all aware of what they need to do.  Celebrant calms any nerves, especially of readers, and also assures brides or grooms that a professional has everything under control for the ceremony

Does a rehearsal, usually a day or a few days prior to the ceremony, and runs through the ceremony with the couple to ensure they feel assured as to what they need to do, and when

Will look at the venue where the ceremony will be held and uses their skills to consider where couples would be best placed so guests are able to see them throughout the ceremony and the photographer and videographer are able to capture the best shots.

In most cases, celebrants charge less than registrars, yet offer so much more.

I’m always happy to answer any questions about celebrancy or have an informal chat.  Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have some queries or would like further information.

I get a lot of enquiries about renewal of vows, especially for the milestone anniversaries. I love doing renewal of vows. It's so inspiring to hear how couples, who inevitably have been through ups and downs together, have a willing to reaffirm their commitment to each other. 

I did a surprise renewal of vows for a lovely couple from America.  The husband organised it all as a surprise for his wife.  She had always been obsessed about the Houses of Parliament, and so he booked a hotel looking over this iconic London land-mark.  He worked closely with the Westminster Park Plaza team who helped him with the planning of a perfect set-up, and I worked with them to check-out various options within the hotel where the surprise could happen.

We ended up using a balcony with 'Big Ben' in the background.  The husband, the hotel, and I were in constant communication leading up to the reveal. I don't know who was most excited. I kept wondering how his wife would have felt if she knew that all of us were colluding behind her back.

Finally the big day arrived and they both checked into their suite at the Plaza.  I then knocked on their door at 4pm, with key members of the Plaza staff in tow, and said, 'Your husband has organised all of this for you.  He has something to ask you.'  The husband got down on one knee, with an eternity ring in hand, and uttered the words, 'Will you do me the honour of renewing our vows?'

Fortunately she said yes (imagine if she'd said 'no'...)!

It was such a happy ceremony - lots of tears, lots of laughs, lots of smiles.  She was shocked how much I knew about her and the little elements I included into the ceremony which were about their relationship.

The couple are still in touch with me, and sent me a lovely little gift just before Christmas all the way from Buffalo, New York.  

If you're thinking of renewal of vows, please don't hesitate to contact me for an informal chat.

I am a bit (some might say 'a lot') of a bore when it comes to discussing my celebrancy business.  I manage to shoe-horn it into pretty much any conversation.  I do this because I absolutely genuinely passionately love what I do.  However, it also has the bonus of being my best marketing tool. 

It was through one of these conversations that an idea was formed.  I was down the pub on a Friday night, having a few quicks pints.  An acquaintance of mine was asking me questions about 'That celebrity-celebratory-whatsoit thing you do,' and I could see a lightbulb go on in his head as I spoke of being able to conduct a wedding anytime, anyplace, anywhere...  'Could you do a wedding on the Thames,' he asked?  'Sure,' I said, 'on a boat, or by the banks, wherever people wanted it.'

Turns out he knows the guy, Harry, who runs the Cremorne Riverside Club in Chelsea on the Embankment. 

When I decided to become a wedding celebrant, I didn't know exactly what to expect.  I knew that I had a skill set which could be suitable, but was 'wedding celebrant' a service people wanted?  Did people even know about it?

I did my first paid ceremony in January 2012.  Surprisingly, I wasn't as nervous as I thought I'd be, and I think that was partly to do with the fact that my focus was on making sure the bride, the groom, the mother, the father, the sisters and the brothers, as well as the readers, the audio visual controller, the best man, the bridesmaids, the flower girls, the page boys... well, you can probably see why I didn't have time to get nervous.

I loved every minute of it.  From the consultation with the couple (who, incidentally, were not only gorgeous looking, but had utterly gorgeous personalities too), to the writing of their ceremony, to the researching of their venue to add a bit of history into the ceremony, to the rehearsal, to the delivery on the day.  Actually 'love' isn't a strong enough word.  I heart-thumpingly, ballistic-butterflies-in-my-belly LOVED it.

I did my last ceremony for 2012 in November.  It was in Cairo, in front of the pyramids, and was my 15th ceremony in my first year of trading.  I remember every ceremony with such precise detail. Every one was different, but every one of them was a happy delightful occasion that still puts a smile on my face when I look at the photos or the emails or cards from the couples. 

I feel honoured to do this job.  To have such an impact on a couple during one of the most important days of their life is such a privilege.  Here's hoping that I get to continue in 2013 in a similar fashion.

I love an award... I have my trophy which I won in 1983 for Miss Rheumatism and Arthritis Foundation of Tasmania Princess Personality in my bathroom.  It's one of my pride and joys.

So when the opportunity came up to enter the Wedding Industry Awards, I 'ummed' and 'ahhed' for all of about five minutes before thinking 'go for it'.  I had to ask clients who had used my celebrancy service to vote for me, which included them writing a testmonial.  I hope I got through to them that there was no pressure to do so, and I was overjoyed that 11 out of the 13 I asked did so, willingly!  With no arm bending/bribery!

The awards were last week, and although I was unable to attend, I did watch the twitter tweets come in thick and fast.  I had been shortlisted for 'Special Touch' (much to the amusement of many) and 'Best Newcomer'.  Sadly I didn't win either, but I did download my certificates and posted them onto facebook.  My friends, those who have seen the trophy in the toilet, all made the right noises.