rox

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

What if you woke up to like 5 motherfuckers blowing cigar smoke in your face. They're shaking you mad hard and going like "wake up, wake the fuck up" and they shove a cigar in your hand.

Jeremy Renner

I wish he didn’t die after his app closed.

After he closed down his app he got eaten alive by a bunch of chimpanzees. It was kinda fucked how nobody talks about it. He was buried in the middle of the Amazon to be broken down by centipedes based on his will. They used deepfakes to replicate his MCU character afterwards.

While I don’t normally wade into fandom discourse I did just see a post that was wrong. The truth is it’s perfectly all right to ship popes, alive or not. Many in fact consider it a “good works” (Catholic mitzvah) because popes aren’t allowed to fuck for real.

my future son messages me on social media every day. he tells me, "father, continue to smoke cigarettes and drink red bull, for they have made me more wise than you can imagine"

if youre sad about something you can say "eh whatre ya gonna do" in an italian voice and it instantly cures you 100% of the time

Yeah, this is why most Italians don’t have any mental health issues at all, not even in the slightest

they take that shit to the grave and the body explodes once its under the earth. this is where oil comes from

yo mama so crumb that strong ants took her away forever

just here to say i started using this joke on middle schoolers and it completely disarms them in every situation thanks so much