All Hail The Queen

and then cas walks in like 👼oh hello rowena apologies for interrupting. sam did i arrive too early for our procedure👼 and sam is like 🌻yeah but that’s alright. it’s actually pretty convenient timing🌻 and cut to cas increasing the sensitivity of sam’s prostrate

While I have written far more about Lucifer and Sam, I also think that Alistair and Dean's relationship is far more complex than it is usually portrayed. I think both of the boys took on specific roles with their abusers, and that those roles heavily impacted how their trauma would later impact them. Specifically, I think that Sam was forced to be Lucifer's bitch, while Dean was forced to be Alistair's boy. So what do I mean when I say Dean is Alistair's boy? Well, for one, Alistair was Dean's mentor and considered him his favourite student and protege. We know that they tortured people together, and that Dean grew to enjoy it. Alistair talks to Dean much like an abusive father might: he calls him "son" and "boy" and "grasshopper", and alternates between mocking him for being a bad son/student, and praising him for his displays of violent masculinity.

And the thing is, Dean doesn't just seem scared of Alistair, he also seems hurt by his taunts. And while Alistair is sometimes just trying to be provocative, he also has moments where his praise or pride appears genuine. Unlike Lucifer, who does not tolerate disobedience from Sam, Alistair seems to genuinly relish in the reversal of their roles, even as it scares him. And that kind of makes sense, because any truly sucsessful mentorship ends with the student surpassing their master. Dean's strength is a sign of Alistair's talent.

Alistair clearly sees Dean as his creation, as his legacy of sorts, and therefore feels pride when confronted with his brutality - even when it is directed towards himself. Alistair's torture had a purpose and he didn't stop even when the seal was broken. In his own words, he "carved [Dean] into a new animal". In terms of family dynamics, it's not farfetched to say that Sam took a secondary role as Lucifer's battered wife, while Dean took a secondary role as Alistair's abused son. Which I also think is a role that Dean is especially vulnerable to being groomed into.

Lastly, there is a kind of casual, uncomfortable intimacy between Alistair and Dean, but unlike Lucifer, Alistair does not really use language that implies a sexual relationship between the two of them. It's certainly not impossible, but if there was sexual violence, it does not seem to be something Alistair considers noteworthy or central to their dynamic. That does not, however, mean that there is no sexual inuendo in their interactions. To the contrary, Alistair heavily implies a kind of proxy-sexuality that is not uncommon between abusive father figures and their boys; namely engaging in sexual violence towards women together. His gleeful description of Dean breaking the first seal by "picking up [Alistair's] razor" and "slicing into that weeping bitch" is an especially disturbing example of this*. So, yeah, I have many thoughs and feelings about Alistair and Dean and wish we had gotten to see them interacting more.