having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

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having unwashed hair will have you believing shit like i can’t be saved

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high masking szpd culture is constantly feeling like a parody of yourself and all the people around you. i automatically act how i think other people expect of me no matter how suffocating of a persona it is. also means that if i ever try to open up about my szpd, i have to justify it endlessly or never be believed. sometimes i won't be believed even if i justify it. sorry i learned simultaneously that my feelings didn't matter and that i had to play up all feelings i had (or pretend to have any feelings at all) and be as "normal" as possible to avoid danger.
World Heritage Post
I managed to listen to exactly 3 seconds of this before I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe.
"I'm only criticizing the people who are lazy on purpose" is just not the reassurance people think it is when nearly every disabled person has been accused of not really being disabled and just being lazy on purpose
no but im so tired of how self-deprecation is always more accepted than self-advocacy. if i say i can't drive because im autistic i get questioned on how exactly that works and given a million suggestions on how to do it anyway and i look like im trying to be special so it's easier to just say im a loser. yeah i don't drive because im kind of a loser lmao. oh well. and people say lmao back and we move on. at worst they say "oh im sure you'll figure it out haha." but no interrogation!! being a loser is more respectable than being disabled. being a loser is something that doesn't make other people feel uncomfortable about their own biases. so no, no im not disabled. i don't struggle to keep friends and do the laundry and make quick trivial decisions and clean my room and brush my teeth because im autistic. it's because im a loser. it's my fault. it is what it is. at least im funny now. do you think im funny? please think im funny

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Disabled people can be complete and utter assholes btw. They can have the absolute worst opinion ever and that doesn’t not give you the right to speculate on the validity of their disability. Disabilities aren’t some god given gift only granted to those with pious hearts or some shit. Anyone can be disabled, no matter what horrible takes they may have.
body positivity can be so hard when ur chronically ill like ‘your body loves you and is doing its best to care for you ❤️’ NO THE FUCK IT IS NOT
weird how abled people don't want you to have supports because it may Annoy Them. no, you can't have a shower chair, it'll get in my way. no, you can't put subtitles on, im here to watch a movie not read. because the needs of the disabled are somehow lesser than the wants of the abled.
Something that really effs me up is how a large amount of society's "undesirable" adjectives are traits you can acquire due to disability.
Unemployed. Lives with their parents. Provides little to no economic value. Physically weak. NEET. Social outcast. Burden on others. Useless. Out of shape. Needs special care and attention. Over-sensitive. Medication-reliant.

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Chronic illness sucks because you’ll catch yourself thinking shit like ‘I wish it was possible to bathe regularly’ or ‘they should invent a digestive system that doesn’t hurt’ and then realise… that’s actually the case for most people. That’s the norm. Not only do most people have that, they don’t even think about it
Guy with undiagnosed chronic illness: damn I feel like shit and don’t know why
Doctor diagnosing fibromyalgia: yooo dude you got the “you feel like shit and no one knows why” disorder
I've encountered many people with schizospectrum symptoms (including myself) who say therapy doesn't work for them, and usually after talking it becomes clear they lie to their therapist, make up problems to talk about, or go along with whatever their therapist's assesment of them is and suppress anything that doesn't fit. This is actually a problem common enough that it shows up in schizospectrum therapy research. It's worth stating explicitly you should be able to tell your therapist whatever youre feeling, even if that is
1. I feel nothing and have nothing to talk about
2. I hate you/think you're evil/think you're plotting again me
3. I think you hate me/think I'm evil/think I'm doing something bad
4. I think this isn't working and the things you tell me don't help me
5. Your analysis of what I'm going through is wrong
6. You're making me feel angry/sad/useless/stupid
7. I feel like you're secretly trying to communicate [x] to me because you said [y]
8. I've just been trying to guess what you want me to say and saying it
9. I'm suffering because of things I can only describe as otherworldly or spiritual or not of this world
Getting a trustworthy therapist can be difficult, and a bad therapist might react in a way that makes you feel like you can't do these things when you do say them. I always look for leftist therapists who will advocate for my rights as a patient and who are critical of police and institutionalization, and this advice is most relevant to people who are entering therapy consensually rather than under coercive, dangerous circumstances. A good therapist will want you to say these things and won't be upset or reject you, they'll just try to help with the issue.
I act like I'm all nonchalant and mysterious but this is what people see when I enter the room
Hello, tumblr user. Before you is a tumblr post asking you to name a female fictional character. You have unlimited time to tag a female character, NOT a male one.
Begin.

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Cluster a culture is being suspicious and somewhat convinced and paranoid that others can read your mind and see into your internal world, especially if you:
a) tell them too much
b) don't control your facial expressions and body language
c) give accidental proof that you have..thoughts, feelings and are a real person *gasp*
im dysphoric over the fact that i am a human being