my name, my current name, is a gender neutral shortening of my birthname. i like it right now. iâm pretty happy with it. so long as people actually use it and treat it like my name, and not just as an optional nickname.
today i heard someone else going by my name
using my name
and iâm usually not one to get hung up on names but this one kinda pissed me off
because it wasnât just my birthname no
it was my name
just my name
multiple times and only my name
never the long version, only the short one
and itâs not like i feel the name belongs to me
itâs not just mine and i know that
but the fact that someone else was so easily called it
is so easily called it
it and only it with no variation
makes me feel like shit
someone else. a girl. is respected enough for that.
they respect it enough to use a nickname and a nickname only, when it isnât even that important
theyâll respect a nickname preference that staunchly when it is truly a nickname
but people wonât call me my name
because it is my name
my actual name
not my nickname, my name
itâs my name. and people wonât use it. but they will as a nickname for another girl.
i am not a girl. i am not the girl my birthname suggests.
i am a boy. i am a boy who uses my name.
i donât say âoh but my friends call me nameâ during roll call to imply a nickname.
i say âi go by name.â clearly. thatâs it. i donât leave room for interpretation or suggestion. i say what the name i use is.
this random girl gets respected enough for a name preference to be listened to.
but i, someone who am pretty clear that no my name is not a preference, it is in fact my name, am not listened to.
it just feels like they donât deserve to have my name almost, even though i know thatâs bullshit.
i would be so happy if i was called my name that much. i would be so thankful. i would cherish that. and it feels like others are just brushing that off and giving it up.
it feels like others are taking something i would kill and die for as nothing to ever be serious about. and even though i know itâs not directed at or even remotely about me at all, it still hurts a bit. hurts a bit to see someone taking something so important to me for granted.
















