Young and Wild

5. Headshotting Wistrom in GP

4. Lying on his CIA polygraph without being detected

3. Telling Ethan that he's a FIELD AGENT and they are FRIENDS so he is STAYING

2. Kicking Lane in the back to save Ilsa, at the cost of knocking away the crate under his feet which is preventing him from choking on the noose around his neck

Verbalizing world-saving instructions to his team while he actively has emergency surgery for a collapsed lung, which he also guides

Bonus:

Herbs • cypress, mint, myrrh, patchouli, bay, pumpkin, yew, wormwood, cinnamon, lavender, willow, oak, marigold, dandelion, rose, lily, daisies, rowan, poppy, daffodils, calendulas, salt and spices, Cypress, white asphodel, mint, narcissus

Animals• Dogs (Cerberus, specifically), black lambs, serpents, screech owls, black sheep, black bulls, moths (reincarnation, cycle of life), 

Zodiac • Autumn (dry becoming cold) – Earth – Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Winter (cold becoming wet) – Water – Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces.

Colors • Black, grey, silver, gold

Crystal• hematite, onyx, obsidian, onyx, black tourmaline, jet

Symbols• precious jewels and money, drinking horn, Sceptre, Keys, Helm of darkness, night-time, autumn and winter, caves, mines, forests, crossroads, cemeteries, cornucopia, shovels (digging of graves, digging into dirt)

Jewelry you can wear in their honor• gold, silver, rubies, emeralds, anything metal and expensive due to his wealth and stone aspects. Any stones or metals. you can veil in muted colors in his honor.

Diety of• stones, metals, wealth, the underworld, 'winter; funeral rites.

Patron of• the underworld, stones, gems, crystals.

Offerings• honey, milk, shells or bones of animals, oolong and black tea, bread, and cake, apples, pomegranates, meat, especially lamb meat, he likes oils, like olive oil and such, a drinking horn, Black mirrors, Black cloth, dirt, dirt from commentaries, garlic, baked goods, sharp cheeses, money, family heirlooms, pomegranate mead/rum, black coffee, Statues or art of Cerberus, small fossils, art is drawn or for him, Shredded snakeskin, owl/vulture feathers., sheded dog fur (good origin hair, no stealing/shaving ur dog simply to give it to him), scales (balance scales), cornucopia, coins, 

Devotional•  saving money, spending responsibly, donating to charities for the dead, cleaning graveyards and gravestones (properly, respectfully, with permission for both the dead and the owners of the property), Offerings to the dead, as well as money to the spirits of the dead to let them pass on, collecting expensive jewels and crystals/stones, making an altar to tend dead spirits, Studying other cultures’ burial methods and cemetery rites, do a job for cementary, do mortuary or funeral services as a job (for the summer, or for how long u want in his honor), treat spirits kindly and help them move on, do ancestral worship, worship your land spirits in his honor, growing deathly plants (safely), writing poetry/stories for him, donate to those who can't afford a funeral, help with funerals, donate to suicide prevention organizations (that are trustworthy), donate to dog shelters, walk dogs in his honor, work at a dog shelter or babysitting dogs in his honor, visit caves that let you mine for stones/gems, make a playlist for him and hum/sing it in his honor, start a coin collection, 

Ephithets•  ‘Renowned’, ‘Good Counsellor’, ‘the Beautiful‐haired One’, ‘Of Good Repute’, ‘Leader of the People’, ‘Lord over All’, ‘Receiver of Many’, ‘Host to Many’ and Pluton (‘Wealth’). 

Equivalents• Pluto, Dis Pater, Orcus

They are reaching out• seeing dead animals or funeral symbols, seeing his symbols everywhere, smelling pomegranates, getting more job opportunities. He and his wife are usually a package deal.

Vows/omans• taking care of the underworld, marriage vows

Number• 6 (not seeing his wife for 6 months, then seeing her for 6 months), and commonly associated with death

Morals• lawfully neutral

Courting• Lady Persephone

Past lovers/crushes• Leuce, Minthe, Theophile

Personality• Like a working dad hanging up your macaroni on his desk, he is very formal and has a sweet spot.

Home• hades/hadestown (he lives in the underworld but is allowed up to Mount Olympus

Mortal or immortal • immortal

Fact• Due to being a Cathonic god you cannot eat after them, you dispose of offerings into water into the ground, and him and his wife Persephone are usually together.

Curses• being broke, losing money, being unable to pass on, losing your job.

Blessings• more money, getting more job opportunities, getting more money.

Roots• "the unseen" which An extensive section of Plato's dialogue 'Cratylus' is devoted to the etymology of the god's name, the 'unseen one', in which Socrates is arguing for a folk etymology not from "unseen" but from "his knowledge (eidenai) of all noble things", you can see he originated from the greek region.

Friends• Persephone, Zeus, Poseidon, Hestia, hermes, Artemis, Apollo, Athena, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, all the Olympians

Parentage• Cronos, Rhea

Siblings• Zeus, Poseidon, Demeter, Hera, and Hestia.

Pet• Cerberus, in his chariot four black steeds Orphnaeus (savage and fleet), Aethon (swifter than an arrow), great Nyctaeus (proud glory of Hell's steeds), and Alastor (branded with the mark of Dis).

Children • Macaria, and in some cases Zagreus, Dionysus, and the Erinyes

Appearance in astral or gen• black hair, crown, kings coat, with a beard and with his scepter

Festivals • Halloween, The Chthonia Fertility Rites

Season • fall, winter 

Day •  Saturday, Tuesday, or Monday would be good, but he doesn't have an official day.

Status• King of the underworld, an olympion.

What angers them• disrespect to their family (wife, kids, etc), insulting the dead, messing with graveyards

The music they like• he likes old-timey, death music, I was listening to a playlist and there was a lot of goth music!

Planet• pluto

Tarot cards• death, the devil (and personally the chariot and the emperor)

Reminds me of• hot coca, death, dirt, bones, dead animals on the road, and goths.

Scents/Inscene • Cypress, amber, pomegranate, and winter scents

Prayers• 

1.

Great Hades, master of the dark afterworld, honored host of our beloved dead, husband of fair-haired Persephone, holder of the riches of the deep earth, eldest son of full-hearted Rhea and Cronus of the shining sickle, I praise you. Hades, kind one, unyielding one, gracious granter of respite to the suffering, of welcome to those who have passed from our world, I thank you for your gift of shelter and hospitality.

2.

Noble Hades, lord of the afterworld, upon your head the shining helm that veils the one it crowns in darkness, within your grasp the fearful staff with which you split the world asunder. Hades, I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings. Hades, holder of all the wealth within the world, yours are all the priceless treasures buried in the earth’s deep bones, the silver and the gold, the copper and the iron, the many-colored gems. I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings. Within your realm, O Hades, are treasures too of life and abundance. The precious seeds of fruit and grain, the soft black soil that clings to root and leaf, without these gifts would mankind fail to flourish. I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings. Kindly host of the dead, receiver of all who pass from the earth into your deep, abyssal realm, granter of rest for the weary, sweet reunion for those too long parted by your well-wrought gates. I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings. Fair-minded Hades, even-handed one who holds in hand the lot of all whose earthly lives have ended. The greatest of kings, the lowest of beggars, all receive reward or sanction by your will. I praise and honor you, I thank you for your blessings.

3.

Great Hades, master of the darkened deep, master of the realm beneath our feet who hears the echoes of our steps, who takes the echoes of our lives. Hades, you know the need for an end to life, you know the worth of a well-deserved rest, you know the thanks of men and women weary from long lives of worry and toil, you know the joy of sweet reunion as friends long parted join together once again within your storied land. The dim and misty underworld is yours, O Hades; yours are the Fields of Asphodel, yours the endless pits of Tartarus in which are cast the wicked and the vile. Yours too are the Fortunate Isles, the land of fair Elysium where dwell the righteous and the good. Hades, the receiver of burnt offerings, receiver of the blood of beasts, well-honored god: in the end, all come to you. Hades, I praise you.

4.

Great-hearted Hades, lord of the afterworld, noble husband of gracious Persephone, daughter of the earth who shares your golden throne; advocate of the dead whose wrath falls on those who deny them due burial, or whose dishonor endures beyond the grave. Relentless Hades, agent of vengeance, friend of the Furies, long is your arm, long your memory. Lord of riches, lord of wealth, yours is the abundance of the depths, the cold, unyielding treasure of metal and stone; yours is the black dirt turned by the plow each spring, the sun-warmed soil that hides the seed. Hades, dark-haired son of Kronos, ruler of the world beyond us, inevitable host of men and women and all, I thank you for your care of those who have passed; I praise you, I honor you, I revere your name.

Due to him being a Chthonic deity here are tips for worship• You can do water in the ground, I'd personally light incense in his honor, over dirt, and let the ashes fall into the water in his honor. You can throw offerings into water into a pit in the dirt for him, in front of statues offerings were left at his feet. if you have no backyard, or any place to dispose of dirt, I'd get a bag of dirt and place offerings in it then throw it out (make him aware of it, with respect.), Offerings are often buried, poured down the drain, or into the trash (This is done to ‘complete’ the offering.), please NEVER eat after him or anything associated with him other than Kore (Persephone's overworld name, ONLY her overworld aspect),

I know he was offered blood, but please don't unless you're a devotee of Mimmum of 5 years!! that is offering your source of life and it has to be sterile and everything and is VERY VERY sacred, you're offering your life to him, so please make sure to do research and have someone help you if you do decide to.

Who is Hades?

Known by many names, Hades is the Greek god who reigns over the Underworld. Some say he was duped or swindled by his brothers or simply lost a drawing of lots when it came to choosing their domains. He is the husband of Persephone and ruler of funerary rites.

Parents and Siblings

Kronus (father)

Rhea (mother)

Zeus (brother)

Poseidon (brother)

Demeter (sister)

Hera (sister)

Hestia (sister)

Lovers or Partners

Persephone (Wife)

Minthe (lover before Persephone)

Leuce (lover before Persephone)

There was also a mortal woman who claimed that Hades was in love with her, some say her name was Theophile (which means “one who loves god”)

Children

Though it varies by storyteller whether or not Hades is their father, these beings have been said to be his offspring:

Zagreus (son)

Macaria (daughter)

Melinoe (daughter)

The Erinyes: Alecto, Megaera, and Tisiphone (daughters)

the mothers of these beings are up for debate as well.

Epithets

Aïdes (“the Unseen”)

Pluto or Pluton (“the Wealthy One” or “the Giver of Wealth”)

Clymenus (“the Renowned”)

Eubouleus (“Good Counsellor”)

Chthonios “chthonian Zeus”)

In Greek:

Adesius, his name in Latium. It is expressive of the grace.

Agelastus, from his melancholy countenance.

Agesilaus, expressive of his attracting all people to his empire.

Agetes or Hegetes, a name assigned to him by Pindar, as to one who conducts.

Aidoneos, this name is probably derived from Hades' having been sometimes confounded with a king of this name among the Molossi, whose daughter Persephone, Theseus and Pirithous attempted to carry off.

Axiocersus, or the shorn god, a name of Pluto in the mysteries of the Cabiri: he was there represented as without hair.

Iao, his name at Clares, a town of Ionia.

Moiragetes, his name as guide of the Fates.

Ophieus, his name as the blind god among the Messenians: it was derived from their dedicating certain Augurs to him, whom they deprived of sight at the moment of their birth.

In Latin or Etruscan:

Altor, from alo, to nourish.

Februus, from Februa, signifying the sacrifices and purifications adopted in funeral rites.

Feralis Deus, the dismal or cruel god.

Lactum, his name among the Sarmatians.

Larthy Tytiral, sovereign of Tartarus, his name in Etruria.

Mantus or Manus, the diminutive of Summanus, an Etruscan epithet.

Niger Deus, black god, his epithet as the god of the Infernal Regions.

Opertus, the concealed.

Postulio, a name assigned to him by Varro, under which he was worshipped on the shores of the lake Curtius, from the circumstance of the earth's having opened at that spot, and of the Aruspices having presumed that the King of Death thus asked for (postula, I ask,) sacrifices.

Profundus Jupiter, deep or lower Jove, from his being sovereign of the deep, or infernal regions.

Quietalis, from quies, rest.

Rusor, because all things return eventually to the earth.

Salutaris Divus, a name assigned to him when he restored the dead to life.

Saturnius, from his father Saturn.

Soranus, his name among the Sabines, in the temple dedicated to him on Mount Soracte.

Stygius, from the river Styx.

Summanus, from summus manium, prince of the dead.

Tellumo, a name derived from those treasures which Pluto possesses in the recesses of the earth. Tellumo denotes (according to Varro) the creative power of the earth, in opposition to Tellus the productive.

Uragus, expressive of bis power over fire.

Urgus, from urgeo, to impel.

In Egypt:

Amenthes, a name of Pluto among the Egyptians. Plutarch informs us, that the word Amenthes has a reference to the doctrines of the metempsychosis, and signifies the "place which gives and receives";' on the belief that some vast gulf was assigned as a receptacle to the souls, which were about to animate new bodies.

(Thank you to Wikipedia for compiling most of this list of these epithets)

Notes

The Underworld often bares his name, also being called Hades. Though it is also referred to as “the house of Hades” or Tartarus

Hades also oversaw the judgment of souls after death, though he was not usually a judge himself. The three judges of the dead are Rhadamanthys, Minos, and Aeacus.

Similar to Thanatos, Hades is often depicted as cold or stoic and did not often get involved with mortal affairs. Despite this, he and the Underworld were treated with respect and honor, often receiving sacrifices and kind epithets.

As some of the above epithets suggest, Hades is also seen as a god that reigns over wealth and fertility.

Hades was mentioned often in mythos but rarely appeared himself.

Perhaps his most popular myth is the Abduction of Persephone.

Hades was considered by some to be infertile and unable to produce offspring

I have to mention Cerberus, Hades’ three-headed dog that guarded the Underworld.

According to Aphrodite in one myth, Cerberus is particularly fond of cake.

Hades is mentioned multiple times in the original Greek text of the Bible as the realm of the dead, this was translated into “hell”.

Modern Deity Work

As always, traditional or historical correspondences will be marked with a (T)

Correspondences

Rocks/Stone/Crystals

Obsidian

Jet

Garnet

Sapphire

Herbs/Plants

White Poplar (T)

Pomegranate (T)

Cypress

Mint (T)

Black Narcissus

Basil

Animals

Dogs

Sheep

Cattle

Screech owl

Horse

Serpent

Symbols

Cornucopia (T)

Chariot (T)

Key

Horn of Plenty/drinking horn (T)

Offerings

Bones

items or imagery of the items listed about

Coins (T)

Wine or other alcoholic beverages (T)

Olive oil (T)

Imagery/symbols of his wife, Persephone

Acts of Devotion

Research him and Persephone

Clean up cemeteries (with permission!)

Spirit work

Create art/songs/poems for him

Study funerary rites of the past and present

Of course, your personal experiences and correspondences with Hades will be more powerful and hit harder than any list on tumblr, so don't take these as written in stone!

References and Further Reading

Hades - Theoi Project pt 1

Hades - Theoi Project pt 2

Hades - Britannica

Hades - Greek Mythology.com

Hades - World History

Hades’ Cults - Theoi Project

Worshipping Hades - Deathwitchenvy

Hades Offerings - @Twelfthremedy

Devotees and Followers to check out:

He's so lonely and has such a low opinion of himself but he's also so cheerfully self deprecating

He's an unabashed sell out yet he is vaguely haunted that his serious works did badly and he did find the process of writing PIDW depressing even as he enjoyed the flame wars his work produced

He has the gall to call Cucumber a masochist like that isn't hardwired into his own DNA

He sees the people around him post transmigration as both more and less real people than Cucumber

It was always going to be harder for him to connect with people he created but then from the sounds of it he struggled to connect with anyone in both lifetimes. But he also doesn't constantly call people cannon fodder or NPC's as much as Cucumber did. Idk how or describe it but there is less of the mental gymnastics trying to separate him from his new reality

He shies away from his feelings for Mobei even though Linguang-Jun is right, he's extremely faithful and devoted, and hides it under terms like "friend" and "devoted" servant

And I can't help but think a part of him knows he's being treated specially but his self worth is so low he can't acknowledge it

The moment he leaves the place of the ascension ceremony and Mobei-Jun behind though is the one time he's completely honest with himself and Mobei because he's described as having the same expression as when he first started creating Mobei-Jun as a character

How adoring and lovestruck do you think he looked to Mobei?

Who could do nothing to stop him leaving?

And Mobei is there living his own romance book being hit with this confusing rejection probably on the eve of planning their wedding

God these two need a conversation so bad (especially after the "call me daddy" debacle)

Next stop - The End Times. 🔥 

they did it they’re still here 🥺💖

My monster fucker ass recently decided to rewatch the Venom movies, as is my right by god, and I love them so goddamn much. Going into the tags have shown me some very tempting looking comic panels, reigniting my interest in trying some of the comics. However, I've never had much luck with comics in the past (especially of the superhero variety). I know there must be some out there that are more my speed, but the sheer number out there (combined with never knowing where to start) have generally turned me away from trying.

Plus, I wouldn't trust any cishet comic bros with recommending me shit if my life depended on it.

So I throw my voice out into the void, hoping to find my people. What venom comics would you rec for a complete comic newbie, who is far more interested in character relationships than flashy battles or women with broken spines and clothes painted to their ass?

Because like, I have this headcanon that every peak lord has a different kind of beauty, yeah? Like SQQ has this very cold, ethereal beauty. And LQG has this very sharp, intimidating beauty. YQY has this very warm, confident beauty, beautiful big bro beauty. WQW has this rugged and debonair sort of beauty and so on and so forth.

And SQH, underneath all of the stress and sleepless nights, is the most adorable, endearing, cute person in the world. He's that cute that makes people go feral, like honest to God cute aggression.

So can you guys imagine like, let's say that SQH has a minor but very acute qi deviation because of how hard he works, yeah? It's not SJ level but enough for MQF to put his foot down and whisk his shixiong away to his peak and very politely forcing him to be taken care of So SQH can't do anything but rest, eat well, take some sun for that good vitamin d for his depression and chill.

(MQF has some close calls with SQH, of course. Some disciples that need their Shizun back. Some demons that don't understand they can't just teleport in and Try to steal his shixiong away. But because MQF has had plenty of training with SQQ and LBH, he perseveres)

Queue a couple of weeks later and SQH is getting some weird ass looks and doesn't understand why! Is there something on his face? He looks at his reflection more often His cheeks are rounder and pinkish but they look clean enough. Was it because he put on weight? His clothes aren't hanging off of him anymore... But MQF said it was a good thing.

Was it his hair? He thought it looked good. With nothing to do for all those weeks, he had thought That he had managed the bird's nest he had been saddled with. MQF and his head disciple had said it looked nice... Were they lying?

Look as he might, he can't find stuff that's too wrong with his face. So why are people staring at him like that?

....

And not just staring. They're acting weird too!

Like! Like! He went to talk to LQG about his peak going over the budget and the man looked like he would kill him. And then! When he finally managed to get his shidi to agree in keeping the costs down, he smiled, thankfully And LQG punched the table between them, breaking it in half! Like WTF, bro!

He thought they were cool now, after SQQ married Bīnghé!

Guess he was wrong...

Speaking of his son! He was weird too!

SQH'S body had decided to betray him after so many years. Just because he had shown weakness.

He couldn't go three hours without food anymore. Real food too! His adored melon seeds did nothing for the growling beast in his stomach.

Such a traitor! Didn't his body know he had a job to do? Aiya!

So imagine his embarrassment! His shame! When waiting for a weird acting Cucumber bro, his stomach growled noisely near LBH! WTF!

SQH looked down, apologetic, cheeks red with shame, and askes to be forgiven by Junshang.

The look LBH gave him was so deadly that he thought his days were numbered. But when Airplane thought LBH was going to give him the final strike, he merely got up and left his Shishu to wait alone.

Normal right?!

But then! When he was talking to SQQ, who was a lot More bitchy than usual, LBH brought snacks for his beloved. Usual, right?! NO!

For the first time in his life, LBH placed some of the plates in front of SQH! And two cups for the same pot of tea! Bīnghé usually made two pots of tea for them, one with the really good stuff for SQQ and one so and so for SQH!

And people might think he was insane! I mean, maybe the table was small, right? He had to place the snacks for Shizun near the other peak lord because there was no room but NO! There was so much room!

And to top it all off, after. While of just drinking tea, LBH asked why wasn't he eating??? WTF!!

He looked helplessly to SQQ but the traitor just arched a brow at him. Was this some sort of game? Was the food poison??

"Eat, shidi"

SQH had lived a... Life, right?

It wasn't the best life but it had been a life. Who knew it would end like this?

SQH ate the food. It was delicious. The soft exterior of the bun melted in his mouth giving way to the savory meat inside. It was the best food he ever had. It was heaven.

Ok.

He could die for this.

But as he happily ate, he must've done something! Because SQQ struck his head with the guard of his fan, waking him up from his bliss.

"What was that for?" He asked, heartbroken.

But Cucumber didn't answer. He merely grumbled about his stupid face and to just eat and shut up.

Weird, right??

And then he had been getting these-- things! They looked like gifts from his martial siblings but-- but that did not make any sense! They never, ever given him anything but work.

And at first he thought they were normal, yeah? He thought, for example, when WQW had given him a Very beautiful and blessed dagger that he wanted more of the ore that made it and told him he would see what he could do. When he managed to find the budget for it and purchase the ore,his shixiong had the nerve to ask him why he bought it!

SQH showed him the dagger and WQW had the gall to laugh at him and told him to keep it. Like it was a gift or something??

WTF??

But worst of all! Worst than all this weird crazy nonsense, was his king!

If MBJ had been needy, demanding, and spoiled before, it was nothing compared to now.

Now, MBJ demanded his full attention when they talked, looking him dead in the eye like he was trying to pick out a lie. Or when they sat, he pulled SQH to his lap like he was going to run away. Or get made when those weird not-gifts started to pile up in his house.

He had the sneaking suspicion that his king broke some of them too.

Aiya!

And because SQH'S body was a traitor now, not only did it need food like all of the time, it needed sleep too! He was now falling asleep on his king's lap all the time. So rude!

He tried to get MQF to deal with this weirdness but his shidi only said that it was normal.

And then patted his head! Like... Like--like he was a kitten or something!

I love these asks! It's like being invited to info dump and it's so much fun!

Warning this is long:

Okay top 5 SVSSS characters are easy peasy

5. Liu Qingge: man he just doesn't catch a break. He's this jock meathead type guy on the surface who is rough around the edges but he's so caring once Shen Qingqiu earned his trust. Also the yearning! The pining! The fact that this guy who he shows devotion after devotion to just chooses someone who has, by all appearances, just abused him again and again is heartbreaking. And even post canon when he has been unwittingly but irrevocably rejected he still does the same acts of devotion.

The man needs a drink and to get laid.

And homoerotic fistfights with Binghe

4. Mobei Jun: this is on his own. Paired with Shang Qinghua it's different. Mobei Jun actually shares a lot of qualities with Liu Qingge. They are both rough stoic men who constantly do acts of devotion and love towards their loved on and those acts are always misinterpreted and they face constant rejection.

The difference is Shang Qinghua is not aware of Mobei Jun's intentions and does not realise those are acts of devotion. And if he did realise he would be thrilled. The problem is cultural differences not emotional constipation

Also Mobei Jun has been pining and yearning for decades and that's amazing

I also like what he tells us about Airplane. Because he's Airplane's ideal man both in what he is attracted to and what he longs to be, but that "what he wants to be" is based on how Airplane reads him. And Airplane reads him as stoic and cold and cool (metaphorically) and untouched and unbothered by anything. Which tells us that that's what Airplane wishes he was, but Mobei Jun is in reality someone desperate to hold on and be held in return. He's lonely and devoted and loyal and unwaveringly honest.

Which is maybe telling of how maybe secretly Airplane wants to reach out and be honest about his feelings and ask for what he wants.

3. Luo Binghe: god there is so much to say. He is a dark reflection of Airplane. He is so parched for love and affection and that he latches on to Shen Qingqiu and cannot let go but he can never feel worthy enough. Never feel like he deserves happiness because time and again it's ripped from his hands.

No one will choose him

He is all alone

Even when he has everything he has every wanted he can't believe it. Because surely this will be ripped away too and he will be left hurt and alone again

He is every dark thought Airplane had alone in his room writing 10,000 words a day to keep his head above water in a dingy room knowing he's unwanted by either of his parents

And man if that doesn't cut deep into me as the unwanted child growing up

That feeling of believing no one will choose you ever and you will never be really loved and then making the one person who does the centre of your world but constantly afraid they will change their mind?

Yeah.

I can identify with that

it's gotten better over the years but uh yeah. The insecurity is still there

2. Shen Qingqiu/Shen Yuan: the tragic comedy of his internalised queerphobia while attracting a harem of men. The unawareness of self, the disassociating, the mental gymnastics he goes through to no homo himself

He's a fascinating unreliable narrator and also his internal screaming is really funny and relatable. I don't have the System but I do have disassociative identify disorder and we definitely get in internal screaming matches sometimes because some of us are dicks. So that kind of internal fighting is very familiar and even funnier to me

I also find it interesting that canonically when he transmigrates pretty much the only overt trauma in his life up that point is dying. He grew up relatively wealthy with a distant but loving family and managed to hit the top 10 of whatever he tried so he was successful enough without being outstanding

In a lot of ways before transmigrating he sounds...bored and unfulfilled

But when he dies he has never had to process trauma before so he just ...doesn't. But also I think he's excited and interested and involved in his life for the first time

And I think it's really interesting that he self identifies more with his online handle then he does with his actual name. There is no reason he couldn't say his name was Something Yuan. But he never tries to go by his original name in the book. He hides behind his ridiculous web handle instead.

And I think that tells us that while he was from a relatively good life on the surface there were issues. Because I think even in his first life he was doing a lot of masking.

Because Shen Qingqiu/Shen Yuan reads as autistic. PIDW is his special interest. He's can info dump about monsters. The way he uses his fan is like a stim. And the way he masks as Shen Qingqiu is too practiced right away.

Even though he gets caught out right away he thinks he's masking well and it feels like he's used to it.

That combined with him preferring his online handle and how he drops the mask completely around Airplane who knew his online persona makes me feel that online is the only place he allowed himself to unmask and I find that very interesting

1. Shang Qinghua/Airplane:

I love him

I love him so much

He is just so tired and done with this shit.

He barely hides that he's a transmigrator, barely hides that he's a spy. He immediately calls Shen Qingqiu Cucumber Bro because he's so relieved he isnt alone

He's terrified of his King but god forbid anyone even think of harming a hair on his favourite's head

He is a sell out because he is a survivor. He has a lot of the same insecurities and issues as Binghe but he also has age on him and a cynicism that sees him through

He is as devoted to Mobei Jun as Binghe is to Shen Qingqiu but there is a mellower edge. He doesn't expect his King to choose him and he's fine with just being useful for most of the text

It's interesting to me that Binghe was willing to destroy the world to make it that Shen Qingqiu had to choose him because there would be no other choice

But Shang Qinghua gives Mobei Jun a challenge

He doesn't do it consciously but he basically tells Mobei "come find me and make it up to me. It's your turn to chase me."

Which is something Binghe cannot do and I really think that's speaks to the length of time Shang Qinghua has been alive in comparison but it's also just an interesting character moment for him

He wants what Bingqiu have but he wants to be the one chased now. After decades of being the servant afraid of being thrown away or killed he just wants domesticity and someone doing acts of service for him! And he gets it!

He's someone who causes the death of many children and everyone just kinda...overlooks that

Because he's just a little guy! And is so weak and pathetic except he's not. Not really.

He's jsut so fucking fascinating because he's got huge insecurities and issues but he's also got such a thick skin and thick face

He doesn't care what people think about him as long as he can be with his King at the end of the day

I could go on forever about Shang Qinghua but this is already so long

Top 5 moments:

Now I'm gonna say I haven't got the last two volumes yet so while I have read the whole story before it's been awhile since I read the end so things might be misremembered a little but I'm gonna do my best

5. The moment in the extras when Luo Binghe asks Sha Hualing, Mobei Jun, and Shang Qinghua for love advice because all 4 of them are so fucking stupid but especially Moshang and I love them

4. the Reveal of Shen Qingqiu in the plant Body in Cang Qiong. That "caught you" is so *chefs kiss* I love it! Then following that up with Binghe on one side an all his very hurt Martial Family on the other.... It brings me such joy. It's so well done

3. My Boy Diving after his King! The fact that right before it Cucumber was going to save Shang Qinghua but Mobei was already there protecting him, the fact that when Shang Qinghua goes to throw himself after his King Shen Qingqiu tries to stop him but is shoved aside!

It's such a great MoShang moment

2. The Self Detonation scene. It is such a moment! It's tragic and beautiful and sad and ahhhhhh. The way it's such an act of love but it's also so deeply traumatising to Binghe. Everything about it is exquisite

1. From the extras again Airplane protecting Mobei from his uncle. The image of the ring of fire with Shang Qinghua between them. When Shang Qinghua refuses to scream as long as he can, that when he breaks Mobei Jun overcomes everything just long enough to send his Uncle flying

Oh my god I think about that scene all the time

i just think an incredibly hot famous person trying to look worse for the dating apps would be so funny

and its even funnier if its ed, who just really wants to pretend he's a regular guy who just looks like edward teach no relation so he can have a regular hook up

of course, things do not go according to plan.

sure, ed was planning on just hooking up with the guy, one and done, get the itch out of his system, pretend he's a regular dude for a while, but stede is nervous, he's freshly divorced and out of the closet and as much as he wants to have his first Casual Sex™ as a Baby Gay ™ he's a bit old-fashioned too, and asks if ed would mind very much if they could have dinner first, his place, he'll cater even, if ed will share his dietary restrictions -

I wonder if the three I’ve found are the three you’ve read. I’ve added some that don’t explicitly fit what you’ve described, just in case you enjoy the Professor Stede / Professor Ed kind of story.

Students don’t know his husband is Blackbeard

Area Man Causes Havoc By Being Gay by electric_friend [M], [6,259 words] [WIP]

Classical language lecturer Stede has a small group of students, so they chat sometimes. They all know about his adorable goofball of a husband Ed from Stede’s stories. For some reason, though, they haven’t quite figured out that that has anything to do with the biker who’s been stalking their professor with what must surely be nefarious intent. In fact, that, they’re quite concerned about. And thus, chaos.

cruel professor, studying romances by pleasesupplymewithyourwahoos [T], [11,183 words]

‘Well, I’ve just noticed some stuff lately, and I think that the Captain might have a crush on Professor Bonnet from the English department’.”

Pete gasped, “No.”

“Yes.” Jim nodded, eyes glinting with mirth, “See, the underclassmen think that the Captain might have a little crush on his best friend Stede Bonnet, because of all the time he spends hanging around the literature lectures and giving Bonnet the gushiest goo-goo eyes known to humankind.”

“The Captain.” Wee John said.

“A crush.” Swede repeated.

“On Professor Bonnet?” Oluwande deadpanned, “You mean to tell me they don’t know?”

the kids aren’t alright (they’re dumb as hell) by blladnna [M], [2,099 words]

Stede and Ed are happily married college professors, and Stede takes every opportunity to gush about his relationship. However, due to one student’s misunderstanding, most of the college now believes that he is cheating on his sweetheart of a husband with the notorious Professor Blackbeard. Suffice to say, they aren’t thrilled about the idea.

Other Professor Stede AUs

Our Museum of Rot and Love by ObsidianCreates [T], [8,369 words], [WIP]

When a museum centered around Pirates and Historical Piracy opens up in his city, history professor Stede Bonnet is thrilled! He attends right away, delighted to find the museum home to kindred spirits in his interest in piracy. And when he meets Edward Teach, the owner and director of said museum, his life changes completely. The companionship they strike up is so easy that he almost feels like he’s known Ed his whole life.

Closing Time by lookwhosinside [M], [5,566 words], [WIP]

Ed owns a restaurant, and Stede happens to be a happily married college professor who wonders into his bar one day.

Hey Sailor by luminous writes [M], [1,554 words], [WIP]

Ed is a bar owner (the bar’s name is Queen Anne’s Revenge) and Stede is a professor at the local university teaching the history of pirates as an elective course in the history department. When Stede goes to the bar for his birthday and meets Ed, the two hit it off instantly. Eventually, one too many chance meetings leads to feelings developing.

A Professor Ed AU

love for beginners by simpleParadox [M], [10,610 words]

our flag means death + rhys darby looking handsome 🥰