Rosie

There was something about the sound of it that put my stomach in a twist breathing alone couldn’t undo.

The wind was still cool enough for us to pull on our jackets by the time the sun tapped the horizon, and I was impressed I made it that long without it considering my arms crawled with goosebumps from the moment we stepped out of the car. I blamed it on the crisp spring New York air. 

No one else had goosebumps though, so then I decided to pretend like I was sensitive to the cold. But I wasn’t often bothered by the cold. 

“What does the C and M stand for?” Sam asks as he points to the clear K and M on the door.

”That’s definitely a K—“

”Kall… Me… Kris,” Kris says, cutting me off, and follows it up with a dramatic gasp.

”Oh, so it’s all about Kris now,” Colby laughs but instead of saying anything else, Sam shoves the camera in Colby’s face.

”I see a scary man, do ya’ll see that scary man?” Colby says as he stares into the setting sun. His eyes are blank as he stares at them as if not a thought is behind that poor man’s eyes. 

“What did you take?” Kris bursts out laughing.

”He doesn’t have to take anything to look like that unfortunately,” I laugh. 

“Goddamn,” he laughs before he turns around and busts the door open.

”Ladies first!” He says happily and Kris complains about walking in first. We all pause laughing as Kris walks in looking very similar to the girl standing emoji.

“You can go next, Sam,” I sigh as I shove him. The camera shakes in his hand and he gasps.

”Actually you can!” He says and grabs my wrist and yanks me through the threshold. My nose scrunches as I’m dragged across the wood of the porch. 

I’m hyper aware of the low laugh on my other side as I’m shoved into the same course Kris first took.

As we snoop around the house, Sam and Colby also explain some of the history of the house in between jokes. Something about putting Sam and Colby, Kris and Celena, and I in the same house either scares the ghosts away or gives us a false sense of security because there was more messing around and teasing one another than real investigation for the first twenty minutes. I didn’t have a problem with that.

I am convinced there are no ghosts in this house when all five of us get along like this. I also am sure that I would be the one replacing the ghosts for content because if I had to withstand listening to Colby speak like this for another day, there is no promising I would come out of this house alive.

It took going up to the top story for it to start though.

Dizzy, Kris plops into a chair and Celena sits next to her. Sam, Colby and I stand around her as she catches her breath.

”It could have been slight vertigo, this house is twisty and we just went out on that balcony, and seeing the elevation…” I suggest.

”That’s true,” Celena says. “You also get like this when suspicious things happen at my house.”

”It’s also really hot up here,” Colby says. I don’t say anything. I think Sam says something next. My heart skips. I pretend like I’m not sure why as I shift on my feet as Colby sways close to me subconsciously.

We continue on and go downstairs to talk with the owners of the house and go over precise history about the house. 

Later, Celena and Kris explain what happened to them, and we immediately snap into investigation mode.

For a while, the irrational sensations that trail through my body every time Colby, honestly, simply makes his presence known, fade, and we get a more in depth tour. Many things happen, Kris hears something, there’s something that sounds like thunder; it’s hard to remember everything that happened because that much happened.

Until the owner told us the ghost’s story in the basement, and the lights flicker every time he mentions specific things about the ghost.

I’m not sure why the antics upped in that moment, but in my mind they did. Hearing footsteps and seeing flickering lights was enough for my stomach to recoil. On top of the things I witnessed, Celena explaining the ghosts she noticed in her mind's eye did me no favors. 

My knees tremble by the time we make our way to the top floor.

As we film in the dark, the only light in the room pouring from the camera light, it seems harder to speak. 

At least for me.

Sam and Colby orchestrate the interview with the ghost, and I’m silent for the entire time. Celena and Kris intervene intermittently, but my throat twists within itself with every answer we receive from the so-called ghost.

Colby is also a hair away from grazing my arm every time he speaks and moves naturally. So maybe it was that.

It’s not that anything more than friendly happens between Colby and I; recently his voice has just done something a little more than friendly to me. I’m not sure if that makes it better or not.

Especially if we plan to film during a particular time of month, I mentally prepare myself to be left dizzy and overwhelmed.

And definitely not due to any paranormal activity.

”New piece of equipment, doesn’t have batteries, so I have to go get batteries. I’ll be back in a moment,” Sam explains to the camera as Colby films him. 

“Oh… okay,” Colby chokes out with fear. 

“Oops sorry,” Sam says with a high pitched voice as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. Colby comedically turns the camera to me and zooms out and I stand there perfectly straight and still as the light over exposes my body like a beacon.

Colby bursts out laughing and I whine as I close my eyes from being blinded.

”Sam deserves to get murked by ghosts if he’s leaving us alone in here,” I complain.

”Kris and Celena are alone in the creepy doll closet upstairs, so it could be worse for us,” Colby says and instantly, the erratic beating of my heart returns. I swallow tightly.

His voice sounds different when we’re alone, but no one would ever find me trusting my perception when I’m alone with him. I stay still, listening to anything that might happen in the room as we wait for Sam to return. My heart hammers in my chest, and my eyes don’t leave Colby as he flips the camera to face him and speaks to it.

An aching courses my body as he speaks. 

Maybe he did have a different tone in his voice. We were alone with the camera, so it felt less like putting on a show since there were three less people taking up space in the frame. 

Or maybe my body wants to believe he spoke differently now.

”Literally saw a woman— whoa I’m white,” Colby gasps as he turns the camera and sees himself in the viewfinder. I laugh once, stifling my movement because one, I’m in a house full of ghosts and two, I’m being filmed alone with Colby. 

No, I don’t trust myself right now.

And then I hear it. My body lurches in the direction of the low bang and Colby instantly turns the camera towards the bar meaning he heard it too.

”It sounded like a footstep right there.”

”The ghosts are spying on us,” I say lowly. 

We both keen our attention behind the bar for a few more silent seconds.

”It really sounds like something is right there, and the footsteps trail that way,” Colby explains to the camera as he points down the corridor and across the wall where it dumps into the hallway outside of the room we’re in.

”The ghosts are waiting outside to get Sam when he comes back,” I say. Colby turns to me.

”Why would they wait for him if we’re in here already?” 

“Because you have a camera,” I laugh. “I thought we’ve established multiple times in this video alone that these ghosts especially hate cameras since everything huge we’ve captured has been when the cameras are off.” Colby puts down the camera for a second, and I hear the faint noise of the recording ending.

I’m not sure why my heart jolts.

We’re thoroughly alone now.

”Yeah? You think the ghosts will do something huge now that I turned it off?” I can tell by his light eyes that his words had no underlying meaning, but his voice could never be innocent to me. Especially not when he drops it to that smooth and low tone he always adapts to when we’re alone.

I convince myself it’s his real voice and not fluffed up for the camera.

”It would make sense if they did,” I say, but I don’t need to say anything else because the same rolling thunder sounds we heard in the walls happens right above our heads in the ceiling. It starts over Colby and finishes in a few paces, over me. 

“Celena and Kris are two stories above us, not one,” Colby says distantly as he still looks up to the ceiling. I don’t say anything because my eyes are snagged on the length of his throat as he speaks up towards the aged drywall.

”Told you things happen when the camera is off.” Maybe I should work on the filter on my voice as well, because his eyes snap back down to mine as he hears my words. I swallow again. We already established that it is hot in his house, maybe I just need water.

Colby parts his lips again as his eyes are slightly darker than I’ve seen them all night.

The door opens and we both jump around. Sam walks into the room with the batteries and Colby quickly starts the recording again.

“So we need to stay very still,” Sam explains, and he turns on the white rem pod looking piece of equipment. As they speak, we have to stay as extremely still as possible or else the pod will shrill to life. I almost need to hold my breath when Colby asks questions. His voice is low but smoother than usual; it’s all I can ever describe his voice as. But when he asks questions to the ghosts in the night, I can hear another layer of velvet that…

I need to hold my breath as we stand here perfectly still, to say the least.

My body is on fire already. I don’t want to know what changing my clothes later will entail.

”Do you know if there’s members of the Kriescher family in this house? If so can you go up to this table so this device goes off?” Sam asks. 

It’s silent.

”Okay, so he doesn’t know anything about the murder, but he’s not alone so—“

The rem pod shrills to life and green floods the room.

”Boom, confirmed,” Sam says. I glance at Colby who looks at the rem pod. The green light paints his face as he thinks for a moment.

”Charles or Edward, I don’t know… I still saw a physical person. Let’s go see if Celena and Kris got the same things,” Colby says. And we pick up our things to go back two floors up.

My hands shake as I grab my things and I can’t stop thinking about the heat deep in my body. 

I’m hyper aware. I’m sensitive. Those are two things I’ve never dreamed about calling myself, but the way Colby’s hand drags against mine, or the way we brush past each other have to be charged more than they ever have been.

Charged with something. Maybe it’s all me and my hormonal anticipation and he’s completely oblivious.

He never realized the complexities of his voice.

“Welcome to the seance room,” Sam sighs as he walks into a dark room illuminated by a dozen candles around the room and in a circle around a white poster board and planchette. My stomach twists and it’s then and there that I may need to go to therapy.

We sit in a circle. My knee taps Kris’ knee and Colby’s knee as we sit in a close circle and Sam opens up the seance. 

“Charles or Edward, we invite you to use us to draw any clue as to what happened to you. Edward, give us a hint,” Colby says next to me as all our fingers touch the planchette, and it begins moving.

Maybe we all need therapy because two drawings later, we think the ghost has drawn a gun and a man’s face with blood pouring from it.

“Oh my god, I’m going to be sick,” Celena says, and Kris freaks out. They explain that they pieced together a story in the closet upstairs.

”The husband knew! He knew that the affair with the doctor and his wife was going on, so he put it on a piece of paper that if he was going to die, it was the doctor’s fault.” Celena says.

”That’s confirmed though,” Colby says.

”What is?” Celena gasps and my stomach twists.

”The doctor is the one who confirmed he was dead.”

”I literally saw that the body was alone and the doctor was checking it and he found the paper and disposed of it so no one knew! He killed himself in the woods with the gun in a way to make it look like a murder, and left the note in his pocket to frame the doctor since he had an affair anyway,” Celena explains.

A rush of flickering light coils through the room, and goosebumps that run bone deep cover my skin. Kris draws in a harsh breath as the candles flicker and Sam jolts in shock.

”It matches up perfectly, the way the gun is pointing to the man and the way the blood is falling,” Sam explains as they point to the drawing.

I’m perfectly quiet, overwhelmed by how much Celena and Kris uncovered.

“That is insane,” Colby says as he turns his head, and I feel his breath on my skin making chills race down my spine. Then I hear the thunderous rolling behind us again; the reason his head turned. But I don’t look at it, because at this point, Colby’s voice on my skin makes it recoil more than the sound of the paranormal. When I don't look behind just as the rest of us do, Colby looks down at me and I look back at him.

I need to keep myself in check and hold my breath when he looks at me so intently within the candle light. His eyes look much darker with the orange light despite the fact they are the purest blue I’ve seen.

The others turn, and it takes physical labor for me to look back at the planchette in front of us. 

It takes another beat for Colby to finally pull his eyes from me.

His knee doesn’t leave mine for the rest of the seance.

The next investigation we start is with a deck of cards. 

Sam sits at the head of a table with Kris and Celena on either side of him. Colby and I sit on the other end as Colby films.

“If there is a spirit who wants to talk to us, they can see the cards,” Sam explains as he lays out three lines of six cards in between the girls. “What we’re going to be doing is that you guys will intuitively move your hand over the cards and turn over the one you feel like the ghost wants you to flip. If the card is a heart, the answer is yes. If the card is a spade, it’s a no. If the card is a diamond, it’s maybe, and the club is I don’t know.”

I take a breath because it feels like it’s necessary, and when I see Colby shift, I look at him subtly. He glances at me as well, and something about the glint in his eyes makes me look away and blink quickly.

”Charles and Edward, if you’re talking to us and the one depicting a framed murder, we have some questions we’d like to ask. The first question is, are there spirits that would like to talk to us through this game?” Sam begins the gam.

Celena felt the inclination to turn over a card.

It was a spade.

”Oh…” Colby breathes deeply, and I shift in my seat as if his breath was personally intended for me. 

“It’s highly advised to not continue with the game if they say no…” I roll my eyes with a smirk at Sam’s comment because we all know he won’t stop like the dumbass he is.

The sounds and motions around us intensify until the mirror shakes behind Sam. His eyes go wide and Colby gasps a ‘whoa,’ and I’m more caught off guard by the heat in my clothes.

For the fourth time.

”Did Edward know about an affair between the doctor and Frida?” Sam asks.

Celena draws a spade.

”Oh, who are we talking to that wouldn’t know?” Sam asks softer, more distant as he thinks.

”Rob?” Celena whispers.

”Are we talking to Rob?” Sam asks confidently.

Celena draws a spade.

Colby’s head turns to the side as he shifts in his seat. His eyes are on the cards intently as I see his mind rolling with thoughts about the game. 

I stifle as I feel his arm relax over the armrest of the chair. 

His fingertips graze over my thigh right above my knee.

I become more still than I have all night.

Of course I decided to wear shorts earlier that afternoon.

“Maybe Frida,” Sam says.

”Maybe it is because she didn’t want to talk about it,” Kris suggests.

”Is this a female spirit we’re talking to?” Sam asks louder.

Kris draws a heart.

”Yes,” Sam says with excitement.

”So it could be Frida,” Colby’s voice raises and my thigh subtly jolts up into his fingers as he speaks and moves. He doesn’t recoil his hand.

His fingers move across my skin absentmindedly.

A current of chills make their way through the lines of my skin. I’m even more excited to change my clothes when this night is over.

”Is this Frida Kreischer?” Sam asks.

Celena draws a heart.

”Yes,” Sam exasperates with a sigh.

”Yes, we’re finally talking to her,” Colby sighs excitedly, and my stomach tightens at his breathy tone. I flinch and look at him for half a second because where did that lighter and breathy tone come from? My heart pounds now.

First my skin, then my stomach, and now my heart; Colby is ruining them all tonight.

I really need to get a psychiatric evaluation if he’s affecting me like this more so than literal ghosts in an old mansion.

”She married that doctor six months later…” Colby whispers animatedly, reminding us that she really doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Did Edward Kreischer die by the hand of a family member?” Sam asks.

Kris draws a diamond.

”Oh… maybe, she doesn’t want to say,” Colby says as his head turns thoughtfully. I bite my tongue when his fingers swirl higher up my leg.

”I’m just going to go for it…” Sam sighs quietly. “Edward Kreischer, did you try to frame the doctor for murder?” Sam asks.

Kris draws a spade.

”So then the mystery still stands?” Sam asks lowly.

”Freida Kreischer, you’re not the only spirit talking to us, are you?”

Celena draws a spade.

Colby’s fingers push into the thick of my thigh.

My toes curl.

”Is it true that Freida and the doctor were having an affair?” Sam pushes.

Kris draws a diamond.

”She really really doesn’t want anyone to know,” Celena exasperates under her breath.

”Was Edward Kreischer murdered?” Sam says.

And Celena draws a diamond.

”Oh my—“ Colby laughs breathily, and my own breath hitches as his fingers move again as he readjusts how he sits. They fall in between my legs now under the darkness of the table. “We’re also the first people to document this, so maybe they’re telling us to keep our mouths shut,” he suggests. His voice is normal and low as if nothing is going on.

“Yeah,” Kris agrees, and Sam closes the game.

I suck in an uneven breath as Colby’s fingers tightly graze my core over my hot shorts when he draws his hand away to stand and clean up.

As we move on to our final investigation, we get our things together in the dining room. I shove the extra lights in the backpack and the smaller tripod as well. I turn to grab the other tripod and Colby is there, putting something in his backpack as he looks up at me.

I could have fallen to the floor from the dark look in his eyes.

”Is it still warm to you?” He asks. I know it’s supposed to be polite words in his mouth, but that tone annihilates any kindness whatsoever.

”I’m not sure,” I say back quietly, lowly. Colby stifles, his head turns to the side slightly. His eyes drape over my body.

”Hm…” I swallow tightly as I tear my eyes away from him and I look to the floor and turn to follow our loud friends. He holds my arm and my body is on fire. “And I’m not sure why you’re avoiding the question?”

”I’m not sure why it’s a deal for you,” I say smoothly, looking back at him with dark eyes. He visibly swallows. His eyes still tear me apart, slicing to the bone.

”It would be a deal to you if you had just felt how turned on I was in the middle of a seance of all things.” My vision blows for a moment, and a scoff huffs out of my dry lips.

”What- What are you even saying?” I choke out as I try to pass him. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Celena following the other two out the door.

”Maybe I’m saying I just felt how hot you were under those shorts and I’m trying to figure out why.” My hands are trembling more than they have all night. Chills fall across my body, amplifying this heat in my shorts all over again as I feel his breath on me. 

“Colby-“

“If it’s not because of me, you’d be out the door already. You wouldn’t have let me touch you the way I did during the card investigation.” But my heart already throbs desperately as he speaks to me like this. My chin quivers as I try to form words, but he seems to have taken all of them. “What? Have nothing to say for yourself?” My eyes gleam up at him thickly.

”Stop talking,” I choke out and he pauses.

”I’m sorry, I’m not trying—“

”No,” I whisper quickly. “It’s not that.” Colby’s eyes narrow as he tries to figure me out.

”Not like what?” I sigh impatiently and look back up at him.

”We should go—“

”No,” Colby demands. “You-You like when I talk to you like that, don’t you?”

”Colby,” I sigh breathlessly, and my heart stops as he says it. His eyes glaze over.

”Go. Follow them,” he commands me, and I quickly obey. My body trembles as I hurry out of the door and meet the other three towards the cellar where we plan to perform the last investigation. 

The three didn’t question why we dragged a pace behind them.

We split. 

Celena and Kris do the Estes method in a corner of the cellar.

Sam records himself with the rem pod sitting alone in the room right above Celena and Kris to find the consistencies between their experiences. 

And Colby and I do the Estes method between the entrance of the cellar and the first floor of the mansion since the furnace is right next to it, and supposedly the ghost Colby is trying to talk to died in the furnace.

My hands shake as he gives me the blindfold and he notices. I hold my breath as I glance at him one last time before I pull it over my eyes. I hear an uneven breath between Colby’s lips. Then he puts the headphones on me.

His fingertips gently graze my face as he pulls his hands back. My lips part. 

The radio starts.

I don’t hear Colby at all, but the words pour out of the radio. I know this supposed ghost talked a lot, so I should have expected it. It distracts my burning for a while, and I’m nearly over it until I feel the tap on my shoulder. I hesitate and draw in a breath when I feel his fingers graze up to my face again. 

I timidly raise the blindfold off me.

Colby stands in front of me.

I look up at him.

”Did-Did any of that make sense?” I ask timidly.

”Yeah,” he says as if it’s an afterthought. My heart pounds as I feel his fingers on my chin still, and I look over seeing the camera turned off. I look straight back up at him from where I sit.

”You’re very good at this,” he says, and a tsunami of fire extinguishes the remaining sense in my body. On my body. His low voice twists my stomach and I shift in my seat. I gasp as I feel him yank my gaze back up towards him since he never took his fingers off my chin. “You look very obedient… sitting there and saying what the box is telling you to.” His voice is so smooth like velvet my chest heaves.

”Colby,” I sigh his name as I shift in my seat. He crouches down in front of me.

”What? Is it suddenly hot in here again?”

”Don’t-Don’t speak to me like that.” His eyes glint and he smiles evilly.

”So it is my voice then? Is that why you’re blushing and dazed?”

”Colby,” I choke out again, slightly louder. He leans forward to ground me again. To keep me from squirming and retreating out of the chair.

”I never took you as such a dirty girl, getting so turned on just from someone’s voice in the middle of a haunted mansion. What’s wrong with you?” He antagonizes me. His voice is breathy but dark and I’m drowning in it. 

My chest heaves and I can’t even speak.

”Have you even paid attention this entire time? Do you even know what state you’re in? Or are you too busy being a slut and imagining a bunch of nasty things because my voice turns you on?”

”Fuck- Colby—“ I gasp as he cuts me off with his hand on my thigh. My lips part and Colby leans forward. Only centimeters are between our parted lips. His eyes glint down my face and he smiles slightly as he sees the dazed look in my eyes and the desperation on the tip of my tongue.

”Tell me what you’ve been thinking about?” I figure out the game he’s playing. His fingers lightly swirl around the end of my thigh, momentarily dipping in between my thighs before going back to the top.

”No,” I whisper breathlessly.

”No?” He asks, turning his head. The lightness of his voice makes my thighs push together. He looks down to them briefly before smiling. “You want to just listen to me talk to you then?”

”Colby…” I think my breath doused with a whiny tone sounds like a beg to him.

To which I’m grateful for because I don’t think I can form another syllable.

”Fine,” he says, pausing and swallowing tightly. “If you can’t tell me what dirty thoughts you’ve been having about me, I’ll figure it out myself.” I swallow hard when he pauses.

”I didn’t even know if I could have made it to this mansion the first time I saw you in the hotel. For as fantastic as you look in those shorts, I wanted to rip them off you.” I whine timidly as his fingers swirl over my thigh and raise higher up my hot skin. “I imagined taking a break and letting you ride me in the car before going back to this job because I couldn’t focus. Do you even understand how hard it is to focus when you’re around?” I cry out when he squeezes my thigh harshly. His lips get nearer to mine. “Do you know how much of a fucking whore you have to be for me to be so distracted and turned on in the middle of a haunted and insanely active mansion?”

And then I moan when his fingers press into a sensitive part of my thighs. He stifles and adjusts the way he’s crouched in front of me. His hand sits on the arm of the chair in front of me and he leans closer.

”Tell me what you’ve thought about tonight,” he says darkly. 

There was no room for defying him.

”Your voice,” I choke out again.

”What about it?”

”It’s so- It- It turns me on, I’m so wet when you talk to me like that.”

”Yeah?” He says sweetly even though his voice is still dark with a heaviness I had never heard before. 

There was no getting out of this situation alive, I thought.

”I can’t believe how wet you think you are when I wasn’t even trying to turn you on. You want me to talk to you like I’m trying now?”

”Colby,” I whine. I can’t handle it.

”I’ve thought about putting my fingers inside you since you let me touch your thighs like a slut in the other room. I’ve wanted to tear your clothes off and feel how wet you are for myself. And to think it’s all because of my voice…” He scoffs. “You’re such a fucking slut and I think you deserve a lot more than just my fingers.”

“Colby please,” I whine as my hips squirm. I gasp when his hand on the arm of the chair falls to my hip tightly.

”Don’t writhe like a slut, I haven’t given you anything yet,” he fires at me under his breath. “You want me to make you come?”

”Y-Yes, Colby please—“

”If you’re good for me, I’ll make you come all night when you come back to my hotel room.” I grit my teeth as I realize he will make me wait for a few more hours. “Be a good girl and be patient.”

”Colby,” I sigh breathlessly. He looks down in between my thighs again where his hand trails across my skin. I gasp when his fingers trail lighter. 

“Fuck, baby. You’re so hot, it’s making it difficult for me to even be patient.”

”Please,” I choke out.

I gasp when he actually touches me over my jean shorts. My back slightly arches.

”Fuck… I can feel how hot you are through your clothes,” he whispers. I roll my hips forward into his fingers. His breath is shaking as he leans over me, and his free hand goes back to the arm of the chair as he raises up to his feet. “You sound so pretty when you’re frustrated.” I whine when he slides his fingers up and down my core. He knows it’s not enough to pleasure me enough to make me come, but enough for me to squirm and gasp for more.

”If you want, you can grind on my hand and take it for yourself, but I’m not giving you anything until later. You think you can get away with thinking like a slut this entire night? In public too?” I bite back a moan at the tone of his hostile voice. I grind my hips forward into his hand and he drags in a breath. “God, you really are such a pathetic slut for me aren’t you? You can’t even be patient and wait for tonight, you’re just grinding on my hand because you’re so desperate for it you can’t control yourself.”

”Colby,” I sigh his name as my head tosses back. Pleasure wells through me at the sound of those words coming off his voice thickened with arousal. And I thought he could never sound better.

”Yeah,” he teases with a sigh. “Moan my name like the slut you are. I can’t believe it’s so easy to get you out of your mind like this.” My thighs tighten around his hand when I hear him sigh. It was almost a moan. My nails dig into the edge of the chair as my back arches and my hips grind on his hand faster. The pleasure builds and is so unbearable; the dry friction of my jeans jamming into me over my soaked underwear is mind numbing. 

With Colby’s voice in the mix of it, I’m a mess.

”God, you’re ruining me. Can’t wait to tear you apart in my bed. Look at me. Look at me now,” Colby demands, and my glossy eyes stare back at him in a haze. “You’ll look at me when I tell you what I’m going to do to you when we get back to the hotel.” I whine in response as I obey him. “I’m going to taste you and make you come on my face before I fuck you hard from behind. I’m going to stuff your face in the pillows too because I bet you’re so unbearably loud and we don’t want to disturb the entire hotel. You can barely hold in your little gasps now, what makes me think you can handle it when I touch you for myself?”

Tears are in my eyes by the time they snap shut. I bite my lip harshly as my pleasure coils to a point and I come on his hand. He sucks in a breath as my hips tremble and my thighs snap together and pull his hand further in.

”Fuck—“ He chokes out under his breath. He keeps his hand there so I can grind on it, coming down from my high.

My eyes open blearily, but I’m completely unsatisfied. I didn’t come very hard and my arousal ached for more. 

I was more concerned about the fact that the denim was a deeper color now. Colby recoils his hand with a teasing smirk. Then he stands up. 

My heart skips harshly in my chest when I realize how hard he is, and he turns away from me taking a breath himself. My body still trembles as I’m frozen to the chair. My breath heaves as I watch him intently. He turns back around with closed eyes. He pulls his jacket back on, hoping it would cover his arousal.

”Get up,” he demands. I ignore the jello that replaced my knees and I get up and follow him out of the entrance to the cellar.

My night is a blur.

We finish the video with Sam’s organization alone; he does the outro with Kris and Celena as Colby and I clean up and get the things into the car. My arms shake when I’m with him and I don’t dare say a word. I can’t even look him in the eyes.

His eyes are all over my body though. Analyzing. Planning.

My body tenses and nearly keels over when he’s near me. 

There’s an edge to his voice now. Everytime he speaks, my legs get weaker.

In the car when we grab food before going to the hotel, Colby tells Sam to trade rooms with me. I planned to sleep on the couch in Kris and Celena’s room as they took the bed. The girls were quiet if they thought anything of it. I think Kris shot me a look but I couldn’t handle it and didn’t make eye contact with anyone for the rest of the drive. 

I can’t hear anything except Colby’s voice and my erratic breathing by the time we close the hotel door behind us. I turn to him like a deer in the headlights and he drops his bags aimlessly; his eyes firm on me as he walks up to me.

A noise shoves out of me when he grabs my face with both hands and I bend backwards as he leans over and kisses me hard. 

It’s not like fire anymore, no. Explosions happen behind my weary eyes, and I realize he wasn’t joking about earlier. It’s not that I assumed he was joking, it’s that I’ve never felt this side of him.

I’ve never dealt with the pure desperation and intensity that seemed to loom in his veins. 

I moan into his mouth and kiss him back even harder than he first kissed me. He steps back as he moans, and he licks into my mouth. I cry and moan and whine against his mouth when our tongues slide together, and maybe he was right that I’m acting like a slut. I didn’t mean it. 

The world stops spinning when he pushes me back on the bed; my feet still on the floor.

”Such a fucking slut, I can’t believe how much you’ve turned me on,” he breaths shakily over me. My own heart follows my erratic breathing as he harshly peels my jacket away and leaves me in the cropped shirt and short jeans shorts I wore. He kisses, moreso bites, down my stomach and the hem of the denim before he falls to his knees in between my legs. 

“Colby—“

”Lie down,” he spits as I go to sit up. His fingers drive into the thick of my hips. I whine and obey. Like always.

He undoes my shorts before he pulls them down and off my legs. Then he draws a sharp breath between his teeth.

”Fucking hell, look at you. Your pussy is so drenched for me even still,” he mutters, not even peeling my underwear off my slackened puffy arousal. My hips writhe as I feel his breath on my core. His nails drive into my sides. “Be a good girl for me or I won’t let you cum.”

”Okay,” I say highly, and I hold back my whining and writhing of my hips. 

“Fuck,” he sighs as he pulls my underwear down and tosses them to the floor. Then, I hold my breath as he blows lightly on my arousal. The cool air sends moans through me and it takes every cell in my body to not squirm. “The fact that it’s my voice that gets you this wet is what’s blowing my mind.” 

I cry out when his tongue licks me once, twice. 

And my hands are in his hair.

Thank god he doesn’t care because he parts my thighs more and lets them rest on his shoulder as he moans into me and sucks me hard. My hips thrust against his face as he eats me out and he doesn’t stop me at all. It makes his tongue work harder and his mouth close around my hot arousal tightly until I see stars.

”Fuck, Colby oh my god—“ I choke out as my hips squirm under him and he groans harshly, pinning my hips down. 

I can’t even open my eyes as the moans and gasps pour from me; he eats me our just as he promised and it takes all but a couple seconds before the pleasure starts coiling. He pulls away for a moment and looks up at me with a look darkened with lust. It sends me spiraling.

”Fucking hell, you taste so good.” I whine when his fingers tease my entrance. “I could drown in your pussy forever. You would love that wouldn’t you? You’re such a desperate little thing anyway, I’d be surprised if you didn’t.” I can’t answer him because next thing I know he’s eating me out again two fingers deep. 

“Fuck Colby—Yes thank you, thank you,” I moan as he fingers me harder. His free hand comes up to the side of my thigh over his shoulder and squeezes tightly.

I still feel his breath and moans on me and that’s what makes my head spin. 

His fingers curl against that perfect place inside me and his mouth is unlike anything I’ve felt before. It takes two minutes and I’m coming on his face just like he promised.

When I’m still trembling and moaning, he stands. He pulls his jacket off and then his shirt and the room goes black. 

It’s only him in front of me and it’s like every one else had died.

”You realize you’re mine now, yeah?” He asks breathlessly. I nod incredulously, my fingers tightening around the bedding under me.

”Yeah, good.”

Satisfied with that answer, he undoes his jeans but doesn’t deal with taking them them off. 

“God, I know I said I’ll take you from behind, but wait a second,” he sighs and I gasp when his tip glides through my arousal. “Yeah, holy shit I need to fucking watch you take it when I fuck you hard. You think you can still handle it baby?” He teases and I glare up at him even though there’s no chance in hell I want him to actually stop speaking.

”Give it to me,” is all I can get out and so he does.

It’s like I meet god before I take my next breath. 

He fills me up so perfectly I can’t contain myself or fit myself in the obedient box he forced me in earlier. I moan loudly and arch my back. My fingers try to pull him closer and instead, he grabs my hand and holds tight, moaning as he fucks me off the edge of the bed hard. 

“Oh my god, you feel so good—“ he gasps as his eyes roll back. I watch intently as his hair falls in front of his face as he thrusts harder. The angle has me speechless and I can only take what he wants to give me. He finally yanks my legs up, feet from the floor, and pushes my thighs back and my back arches as a loud gasp is fucked right out of me.

”Colby, oh my god—“ I whisper, afraid of what sound would come out of me if my voice was any louder. 

“Holy shit, you talk about my voice all the time but yours is going to make me come so fast.” I moan louder as I hear him speak to me like that and I relax.

I take everything he gives me as his eyes rake over me; taking in my appearance as he knows he sends me to heaven and back.

”Get on your hands and knees,” he finally spits out. I scramble to the head of the bed and I lower to my shoulder, staring back at him over my raised hips. “Goddamn, you’re really a little slut for me aren’t you?” He says with a voice so low I nearly fall over again.

He’s on his knees behind me and he fills me without warning. I gasp and moan loudly. I’m dizzy again when he fucks me, but this time the loud moans are uncontrollable. 

“Holy shit,” he moans and he grabs a fist full of my hair at the roots and yanks me back to him. “You’re so easy, I knew you’d be fucking loud, stupid slut. Now, what you’re going to do is take it like a good girl and let me fuck you and come on my cock listening to my voice, you think you can do that for me?” His voice is so calm and smooth it nearly puts me to sleep.

”Yes, I’ll be so good for you.” He moans and kisses my neck sweetly. Few times in return, his pace slow and pleasuring behind me as he thrusts in and out.

”Good,” he simply says before he shoves my face back into the pillow. At the same time, he fucks into me so hard I moan before I even feel it completely. My body is on fire as he fucks me hard, and this time his own moans fill the room. “Oh my fucking god, your pussy was made for me, baby. You feel so damn good I don’t think I can go without it again.”

I think I moan his name.

”Think about you all the damn time. Especially when I’m alone. Always think about what it would be like to make you fall apart. I didn’t think it would be this easy and entertaining. I’m fucking addicted to you, baby,” he moans as he keeps thrusting hard. I can’t feel anything except the ecstasy he demands me to take. Fire coils in my core and trails down my thighs as they shake with pleasure. It builds and builds but doesn’t end.

”Please,” I moan into the pillow, wanting more than anything to come hard around him. I jut my hand down in between my legs but he sucks in a harsh breath and takes a break from pinning my head into the pillows. He grabs both my wrists and holds them down, pinned to my back with one of his hands. Then with his free hand, he shoves me back into the pillows.

”No way, I said you’re coming on my cock and listening to my voice. You acted like such a whore today, what am I to think other than the fact that you can come listening to it alone?”

I whine as tears fill my eyes.

”Now fucking feel it. Don’t you feel how good it is? You’ve never had anyone fuck you like this before, have you? You were so desperate for it, you knew I’d be able to because you’re so obsessed with my voice. You close baby? Close to showing me how much you need me?”

I whine and moan louder, my hips squirm as I try to tell him that I’m close.

”Holy shit, the way your pussy grabs me— I can feel how close you are, you just got so much tighter. You better fucking come when I tell you to because I won’t last much longer.” 

“So close—“ I moan into the pillow in rhythm with his harsh thrusts deep in me. I tighten around him purposefully and he moans louder. His moans make me shake. I can’t even see; they’re blinding.

”My god… you’re so hot I’m so close actually…” He moans quieter, and the pleasure builds and I can barely hold it anymore.

”Please let me come,” I beg him as I turn out of the pillow to catch my breath.

”You want to come on my cock for me? Just from my voice, yeah?” He asks breathlessly and sweetly. Too sweetly for him to be fucking me like a slut right now.

”Yeah, please,” I ask nicely as my moans fade into desperate whines.

”Fuck— Squeeze me tight then, baby. Show how much you want to come. If you come for me I’ll fill you, okay? I’ll give you all my come.”

”Oh fuck,” I gasp and my thighs are shaking.

”Come for me now, baby. Come now,” he desperately moans, unable to wait any longer.

And thank god the sound of his real moans, louder and deep, push me over the edge.

I come so hard around him, I push my face into the pillows myself to block my moans from waking up unsuspecting people in the hotel. I tighten around him and he gasps as he lets go of my hands. He holds himself up as his orgasm wracks through his body, and I try to keep quiet and let him use me even though I’m coming so hard I can’t even breath.

”Holy shit, holy shit—“ He gasps breathlessly as he stills his hips and gently holds mine. His thumb brushes over my skin lightly as he coaxes me from my violent high. I turn my head to the side, facing him. “Are you alright?” He asks, panting and quiet.

”Yeah,” my voice breaks. He leans over and kisses me face.

”If I knew you felt this way about my voice I would have said something a long time ago.”

”The problem is you did and I’ve been going crazy for you since then. You’re just too stupid to have seen it.” Colby’s breath hitches as I say that and he laughs before he thrusts inside me deep again. I gasp loudly and arch my back.

”Maybe don’t talk to me like that when I’m this deep inside you.”

”You’re an idiot.”

✧˖*°࿐

Sam and Colby Taglist (Comment to be added):

@a-random-google-user

@graceciesiels22

@honestlybabymiracle

@xxsecretscenekidxx

@thedeadlynights

@glittervame

@rockwyu

@worldlxvlys

Note: Cassian is 6’8” Azriel is 6’2” and Rhysand is 5’9” 150 pounds at Best. Fight me on this, but you will lose because you’re wrong.

“God, I can’t fucking do this anymore.”

He stumbled into the townhouse with bleary vision, but Azriel was hot on his heels.

”Stop,” he spoke gently. “Rhys, hold on.” By the time Azriel grabbed Rhys’ arm and pulled him from escaping them, Cassian was at their side with wide eyes and a closed mouth.

”I’m so fucking tired. I’ve never been so tired and overwhelmed,” he choked out a sob as the thick tears finally fell. “Who am I? Why are we even doing this anymore? We aren’t at risk. We-We—What kind of High Lord am I if not all of my court is safe?” He spoke with his hands and laid them out with exasperation. Azriel watched the way the front of his hair flopped forward from his tugging on it. 

“Rhys,” he said softer. Calm down, he thought to him and pushed comfort to him. Rhys’ breath shook as waves of comfort and warmth spread through his body. Listen to us, calm down and take a breath for a second. “You know why we have to wait. You know why you pushed this false image of yourself, okay? We’re so close to being able to tear it down. Yeah it might take work and many years of rebuilding trust, but it will work out. This was our plan all along. It’s taken so long, I know but it will be alright.”

“Fey-Feyre was—”

”Yes,” Azriel spoke and dipped down to catch his gaze again. “She’s out working with the Valkyries and will be back in just a couple days now.”

”I can’t—“ Both Cassian and Azriel sucked in a harsh breath when they felt the emotions Rhysand pushed into the room to communicate how he felt; they were heavy and he didn’t know how to help Rhys and make him better. It wasn’t often that their best friend was torn in two like this. Now that he had Feyre, it had been quite a while since they handled him alone.

“You can,” Cassian finally spoke. “You’ll be okay, you are okay; we all are.”

”You aren’t alone and you never will be again.” 

Rhysand finally snapped his eyes up to Azriel when he nailed the problem right on the head. 

“You’re home now and you’re doing your job flawlessly. You’re a fantastic leader and part of our family.” Rhys blinked quickly as words failed him. Then he sucked in a harsh breath when Cassian’s hand softly landed on his back. “Look at me,” Azriel rose his face and Rhys quickly obliged; the seriousness in his tone stole all the attention in the silent room. “Listen.”

Then Azriel took Rhys’ face in his hands.

”I promise, you’ll never be alone again.” 

And Rhys sucked in a breath when Azriel kissed him tightly. 

As much as he wanted to say he couldn’t remember the last time they kissed, he obviously wouldn’t ever forget, but even still it was a long time ago. Close to a hundred years ago probably. 

When Rhys hummed into his mouth as he deepened the kiss, Azriel moaned and pulled him closer by the back of his neck.

”Bu-But Feyre—“

”Ask her then, Rhys,” Azriel sighed. Rhys tipped his head back with a sigh as Azriel’s mouth trailed down his neck. “Tell her.” After a few seconds, Rhys opened his mouth again.

”She-She said make sure-make sure they…”

”What was that?” Azriel asked. Then—

Make sure they take very good care of you. 

Azriel’s heart skipped a beat when Feyre’s voice repeated in his head. Rhys looked up at him darkly as Azriel looked up to Cassian. Cassian nodded.

So Azriel kissed him again, only this time a fire was in his tongue. 

Rhys couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t swallow, think, or walk. His legs were spineless as Azriel handled him fluidly.

”Come on,” Cassian broke the silence.

Rhys closed his eyes as the darkness came over him and when he opened his eyes, the three landed in Rhys’ large bedroom in the mansion. They were alone, fully secluded from anyone else; the girls were on their mission, Elaine and Amren still back at the townhouse, and the city kilometers away.

Azriel kissed him again. He hardly pulled away while they winnowed anyway, but Rhys wasn’t distracted anymore. He licked into his mouth and Rhys didn’t fight it when he tasted him and pulled on his tongue with his lips.

But he did gasp when his back hit the bed. 

“Az,” Rhys gasped as his face flushed pink. Azriel couldn’t help it when his lips curled into a small smile at the sight of his shadows ever so slowly snaking up Rhys’ arms and holding him down firmly. 

“Maybe you should get behind him, Cas,” Azriel said darkly. Cassian’s own smile lit up. “Hold him and make him feel good.” Excitement in the form of butterflies welled in his chest as Rhys sat up just enough for Cassian to slide in behind him. Of course Azriel’s shadows pinned him down again, only this time he sat up and leaned against Cassian’s chest.

A moan punched out of him at the feeling of Cassian’s length hardening at the mild contact. His heart raced even more, and Azriel’s head tipped to the side as he heard it. Cassian’s hands blanketed his sides, and he couldn’t help his breathing as it erratically caved under his subtle touches. He forgot how much bigger both of his best friends were than him; he typically did especially when they goofed off in between submission to his orders.

”Your heart’s wild right now,” he muttered. “I didn’t think it would take a couple of touches to get you so wound up.” And he smiled; his own heart pattered as he felt how much Rhys had to work to muster words. 

“Wanted you-Wanted you for so long and-and I thought I never would again and I thought that the last time I would be pinned down and touched like this would be—“ Azriel commanded a shadow to wrap around Rhys’ mouth. His eyes nearly rolled back from the contact.

”Don’t mention that again. Can’t stand to hear it.” Azriel. He smiled again. “What was that?” Azriel please. “You’re begging me even when you can’t speak.” Don’t. “Don’t what? Speak the truth? It’s a little embarrassing at times, isn’t it?” 

Oh fuck. Azriel’s own breath shook as he got on his hands and knees and crawled over Rhys.

”Are you going to let us make you feel good without begging and fighting?” Rhys nodded furiously. He moaned behind the shadow as Azriel’s hand lightly tapped his neck. His fingers fell to his chest awfully slowly and left goosebumps across Rhys’ skin in their wake. “You promise you will relax and trust us and trust the plan after we’re through with you?” Rhys nodded furiously again, but it was followed by a gasp when Azriel’s hand fell lower onto his stomach. Cassian’s hands still warmed his sides and Rhys tried to jostle his body into them to feel more and more. 

As Azriel’s hand teased down the front of his body, his clothes disappeared. His chest rose and fell quicker and quicker the further down his front Azriel’s fingers played, and when they tapped the belt of his pants, he couldn’t breathe entirely. But Azriel dipped his fingers in ever so slightly. The fabric didn’t vanish.

”Are you sure?” He questioned. Rhys rolled his eyes. “Don’t give me the attitude. You sure you can be good for us?” He nodded. “Rhys—“

I will be so good for you and take everything you want to give me, please make me feel good and safe and relaxed—

“Okay, okay,” Azriel sighed. He kissed his stomach once for reassurance and slipped his fingers from Rhys’ pants. Rhys almost complained until Azriel confidently palmed him over the tight pants. His head rolled back and a satisfied hum filled the room. One of Cassian’s hands moved from its place on his side and trailed up to his neck where he lightly held him. Azriel hummed in contentment as he listened to the small praises Cassian muttered to Rhys but didn’t stop. 

His mouth—teeth, lips and tongue; all of it—worshiped Rhys’ body as he lowered himself further and further down the bed and his body. A louder moan filled the room as Rhys thrusted his hips up into Azriel’s hand, and he smiled against his skin.

Then his mouth moved down and took the place of his hand.

Az please, let me speak. He obliged and commanded the shadow away. 

“Please,” Rhys broke. “I’m on fire, I need you. Needed it for so long.” Azriel’s stomach flipped at the sound of his best friend’s voice falling apart for him. 

”I know,” he sighed, and didn’t waste another second of teasing. When Azriel pushed himself up and palmed him again, he commanded Rhys’ pants away just like he did with his shirt. His throat clenched tightly as Rhys’ body leapt at the sudden contact; Azriel took him in his hands and stroked him once, twice. “Fuck, you’re so turned on already. You’re dripping in my hand, Rhys.” Of course that yanked a moan out of him.

”Thought we said no teasing—“ he was cut off by Cassian’s hand tightening around his throat.

”Thought you said you were going to be good for us.” Rhys sobbed as he tossed his head back. Azriel tightly stroked him over his tip and pressed his thumb against the underside just to watch him squirm. 

“Az, fuck. It’s too much—“

”Then be good for us.” Rhys nodded quickly. 

“I am, I will be.” 

So Azriel properly stroked him until his eyes rolled back. Rhys fucked his hips in the air until he and Azriel maintained rhythm.

“Oh fuck—“ Azriel looked up at the sound of Cassian’s moan and watched how Rhys pushed himself back and stimulated Cassian as much as he could. 

“You still just want to make us feel good too, hm?”

”Az,” Rhys breathed. “You—fuck—You feel so good. I’m-I’m—“

”You what?” He breathed softly. He crawled back over and stopped nose to nose with Rhys. “You what?” ‘He repeated impatiently.

”I’m so close.”

”Already? But I just started touching you.”

”But it’s you touching me.” Azriel didn’t know what to say. His face softened when Rhys looked at his lips and there was nothing else he could do. He kissed him sweetly. And licked into his mouth all over again. Azriel moaned as Rhys struggled to kiss back; he drank down his moans can gave Rhys some room in the shadows that held him down so he could sit up more and kiss.

”Az,” Rhys moaned in his mouth. Azriel hummed and stroked him faster and faster. Rhys’ eyebrows twisted with pleasure and his bottom lip hung open. Azriel bit down on it and made his shadows fall down Rhys’ body teasing every stimulating spot for him. 

“Come Rhys, come for us,” Cassian said as his hands didn’t stop touching and pulling Rhys’ body. Both of them attacked him with touches that left Rhys dizzied and out of touch with reality.

Rhys painted his chest and Azriel’s hand as his moan filled the hot room. Azriel moaned as well and pulled away from him so he could watch him lose himself in the pleasure. 

“Az,” he sighed. But Azriel didn’t stop. He continued harder. “Azriel,” Rhysand warned and his eyes opened. “So much,” he whined.

”Yeah, it feels like a lot doesn’t it?” Azriel teased. Rhys tossed his head back and that was when Cassian pulled him back against his chest by the throat.

“Fuck! Please—“

”I’m literally giving you what you want, why are you begging?”

”It’s so much, let me breathe.” Rhys gasped as Azriel sat up and grabbed his thighs and pushed them back more. 

“You can breathe, but I’m not going to stop touching you.”

”Az, please—oh my god,” he moaned. Azriel stroked him slower, but he used Rhys’ come as a lube and teased him. ”Holy shit,” Rhys gasped when Azriel lowered down in between his legs. “Don’t—I need a second—“

”No,” Azriel hummed with a smirk pulled at his lips. He pushed one of his legs back, and when he dipped down and pressed his tongue against him, Rhys’ body jolted. Cassian held him still with one hand as the other traveled down his body and ever so softly stroked him again. 

A part of Rhys wanted to run from the overstimulation, but another melted into it, and he tried to ride the pleasure even as his body trembled. As he caught his breath, his hips moved with Azriel’s tongue and Cassian’s hand, and soon his breaths and moans filled the room again.

”Good job, you’re doing so well for us,” Cassian praised. His gentle voice sent chills across Rhys’ skin. He couldn’t help but toss his head back against him. When he did, Cassian kissed down Rhys’ neck as his free hand snaked over his chest. 

“Azriel,” Rhys finally whined. “You feel so good.”

And he laughed against him. His breath made Rhys’ stomach leap and excitement boiled in his blood.

“See? I told you to be patient.” Rhys laughed once at that but his eyes rolled back all over again when a couple of Azriel’s fingers joined his tongue and teased him to prepare him to be filled. 

“Oh fuck—“ he gasped, and his body lurched forward when Azriel pushed a finger inside of him. 

“Oh my god, you’re taking me so easily Rhys.”

”What, are you letting Feyre fuck you too or something?” Cassian spat. Rhys nodded quickly. He gasped for breath as Azriel slid another finger in. “Yeah I knew there was no way you wouldn’t let her. You always need to be filled, don’t you?”

”Azriel,” Rhysand broke under Cassian’s filthy words. “Fuck me, I need you. Need you inside—oh shit!” Azriel used another finger and curled them repeatedly into the spot he craved. His vision blurred as the pleasure tore him apart. “Azriel oh my god, fuck yes,” he whined and finally his body relaxed into the stimuation completely. He was almost dead weight on Cassian as they touched him and yanked him closer and closer to another climax.

”See?” Azriel laughed as he rose up to his knees. He pinned Rhys down to Cassian gently by his throat. Cassian still touched everywhere he could reach and stroked him slower than Azriel’s fingers; not enough to make him finish, just enough to keep him on edge. “I told you to let us make you feel good. You acted like you didn’t think we could, or you didn’t want it.”

”’Course I want it,” Rhys mumbled. “Needed it for so long.” Azriel kissed him again and this time Rhys mustered enough fire to kiss him back as heavily. His heart stammered in his chest when he felt the pleasure radiate down Azriel’s body; his scent thickened with every lick of his tongue. “Let me touch you, please,” Rhys mumbled against his lips in between kisses.

The shadows slowly retreated.

Immediately Rhys’ hands came up and saturated in Azriel’s warmth. Finally he moaned into Rhys’ mouth like he meant it, and of course Rhys knew all the places that would sustain those moans louder and louder. When he tugged on Azriel’s hair, it made his fingers fuck him faster. He knew it would and as much as he needed it, he still wasn’t fully prepared for it.

”Oh my god,” he quietly gasped as he pulled from the kiss. Azriel’s forehead still leaned against his. His arms held onto his neck. “You’ll make me come again.” He didn’t say anything; he smiled and continued fingering him, but his movements slightly slowed. 

“You think you can take Cassian now?” Rhys nodded quickly at Azriel’s words as Cassian inadvertently rolled his hips up against Rhys’ body. 

“Yeah,” he repeated verbally. “Cassian please.” It took no time before Azriel rose to his knees and Cassian’s hands slid down Rhys’ inner thighs. 

“Oh my god, Rhys,” Cassian moaned his name when Rhys raised his hips and allowed Cassian to handle him. “So hot. Love you; wanted you so bad.” Chills raced across Rhys’ skin again and he swallowed tightly. Then he looked up at Azriel as his hand jutted across his throat. 

“Ride him until you come again.” Rhys’ eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise.

“Az—“

”No,” Azriel cut him off. Another flush painted Rhys’ face as Azriel’s lips ghosted across his. “Fucking ride him until you come and then you can have us both.” Rhys nodded with a warm face and his eyes rolled back again when Cassian thrusted against him. Rhys didn’t realize how turned on Cassian was until he felt the wet heat of him slide across his entrance.

And Cassian slowly pulled him down around him.

”Cass!” Rhys gasped, and he gouged his fingertips into Caassian’s thighs. Cassian couldn’t reply with anything except a moan. Rhys tried his best to ride him, and for a while it was enough. Cassian tossed his head back against the headboard again, and his hands imprinted marks on Rhys’ hips. 

“Fuck, oh my god,” Rhys moaned, and more strings of expletives and moans were forced from him with every thrust. 

“Yeah?” Azriel hummed. He didn’t let go of Rhys’ throat. “He’s so big, feels so good, doesn’t it?” Rhys nodded silently as another wave of pink flush painted down his body. “Now ride him. Faster. I can literally see Cassian fucking you. I told you to ride him.” And he nodded in submission.

”Oh fuck, Rhys—“ Rhys threw his hand behind him to hold himself up, and when his palm landed on Cassian’s chest, Cassian couldn’t help but hold onto his wrist for dear life. 

Rhys gasped at the sudden force of it all. He fucked himself down on Cassian as Cassian simply took it. Azriel watched intently as he found satisfaction in Rhys’ obedience. 

“So pretty, Rhys,” Azriel hummed. “Being so good for us.” Rhys’ mouth dropped open as Azriel’s hand brushed through his hair and tugged on it. He looked up and with his neck bared, Azriel kissed him and left purple bruises that stung Rhys to painful bliss and back.

And Azriel stood up. 

Rhys opened his eyes and looked up at him through his eyelashes. Azriel took a breath to say something, but Rhys’ hands already met his body. Azriel gasped when his shirt disappeared and Rhys’ hands landed on his bare skin. Technically, he didn’t tell Rhys that he couldn’t use his powers, and because he was incredibly obedient already, he couldn’t get himself to demand Rhys to not use them. Especially when he looked up at him like that and when his hands set his body on fire like that.

”Love when you’re so desperate like this,” Azriel said breathlessly. Rhys didn’t reply as Azriel brushed a hand through his hair and pulled it back from his face. “I was going to tell you to let me fuck your throat, but it looks like you want it even more than I do.”

”Give it to me,” was all Rhys could say, and Rhys didn’t even muster the strength to use his powers. He unzipped Azriel’s pants and didn't even pull them down enough.

A gasp was ripped out of Azriel when Rhys stroked him once and took down his entire length. Azriel fucked his hips forward and Rhys gagged around him, but didn’t push him off. He held onto his hair as Rhys worked him with his throat, his tongue. Even his own vision blurred from the pleasure, and he couldn’t give him orders or expect anything more from him. 

If Azriel demanded anything more from Rhys, he would be coming down his throat faster than he wanted. He didn’t intend to fill this part of him.

”God you’re fucking insane,” Azriel gasped through gritted teeth. His own hand pushed his hair back as sweat pricked his hairline. He didn’t let up on his grip on Rhys’ hair, but he didn’t force him down. “You—oh my god, Rhys—you’ll make me come.” Rhys sucked in the wet mess when he came off him.

”Yeah that’s kind of the whole point.” Azriel’s eyebrows shot up at his defiant tone.

”So you want me to fill you twice then?” Rhys smirked as he went back down on Azriel. “God, of course you do. You’re a fucking slut for our come. You always want every hole filled, don’t you?”

Rhys drove his nails into his side in retaliation, and he looked up at him darkly. 

“Don’t give me that look. I know you want it. Give me attitude again and I’ll tie you up then you really won’t have a say in anything.”

You would like that wouldn’t you?

“It sounds like you would like it more.” He grabbed Rhys by the roots of his hair, and bright dark violet eyes stared up at him.

”Rhysand, stop it now.” Azriel grabbed him by the hair and fucked into his throat. Even as Rhys choked and tears drenched his face, he didn’t stop for anything.

Oh my god, harder.

”You’re such a whore,” Azriel laughed in response to Rhys’ voice in his head. “If you’re going to yap in my head like that, at least tell me what you want and thank me after.”

I’m so close. After I come will you both fuck me?

”Yes,” Azriel spat. “I’m going to fuck your throat now—“ Rhys moaned around him and the vibrations forced a moan from Azriel. “I’m not coming though, it’s just to make you come faster.”

Azriel please come I want to taste you— Azriel didn’t hear anything else from Rhys except for the mind numbing static in his head. His own heart skipped. He knew if anything was in Rhys’ mouth he could nearly pass out in submission. Neither Cassian nor Azriel mentioned Rhysand’s oral fixation, but they knew all too well how to utilize it to get what they wanted.

It wasn’t their fault that Rhys was willing to get on his knees for them at any given point.

Cass, oh god Cass don’t stop.

Azriel listened as Rhysand talked to both of them at the same time.

“Oh my god,” Azriel whispered as his composure quickly crumbled. “If you want it—fuck—if you want it that bad, you better swallow every drop of my come.” Rhys nodded quickly and took him deeper. A moan punched out of Azriel when he fucked the back of his throat. “Rhys, oh fuck Rhys I’m going to come.” Rhys closed his eyes as tears fell from them. He pushed his tongue up and stroked under him harder, and immediately his throat burned with Azriel’s come.

“Come for me Rhys, come all over me now,” Cassian demanded somewhere in the distance. Never would he think that the best mouth and tongue he ever had was his best friend’s, but every time Rhys took him down his throat he was sidelined by the truth. Azriel’s legs nearly gave out as Rhys sucked him through his orgasm and swallowed down—more like drowned on—all of his come.

Rhys’ eyes shut tightly as Azriel yanked his hair, and his hips shuddered down on Cassian. Azriel’s own breath was taken when Rhys’ legs tightly closed and he painted his chest yet again.

He mumbled his name again when he felt the immense rush of pleasure that decimated Rhys’ last remaining sense of self. He knew that they might not get another word out of him.

He just didn’t realize it would happen so fast.

Azriel pulled out of Rhys’ mouth and his pent up moans poured from him. 

“Good job, oh my god you did so well for us,” Azriel praised when he fell to his knees and pushed Rhys gently against Cassian’s chest. Cassian wrapped his arms around him and Rhys laid himself down limply. Cassian laughed at him as Azriel smiled down. 

“You really think you can take me too?” Azriel sweetly asked. Rhys caught his breath as he nodded. “Hey,” Azriel said even softer, and he steadied Rhys’ rolling head by holding his head. Slowly, distant violet eyes met his again. “You really okay to keep going?” Rhys nodded even though he looked like he could pass out at any moment.

Want you. Send me there.

”Holy shit,” Cassian coughed when Rhys requested that from both of them. Azriel’s smile fell and chills raced down his arms. It had been so many years since they fucked, but it had been even more since he and Cassian sent Rhys into that headspace. It had been an accident the first time, and the two of them freaked out, but when Rhys came up, he told them he needed it to happen again. They did it one more time after that before Rhys was taken from them.

”Okay, Rhys,” he sighed. “We got you.” Azriel swallowed down the lump in his throat as he stroked himself. Then he lined himself up alongside Cassian. He teased first to make sure he was ready for it, and when he nearly slipped from how slick they were, he pushed inside Rhys.

His body convulsed with pleasure, and Azriel monitored the way he felt to keep him from pain. He was almost just as gone as Rhys was; one more surprise from Rhys and he swore he would be the one losing himself in his headspace. Cassian moaned as well when Azriel pushed fully inside, and he held onto Rhys tighter. 

“Oh my god, so close already,” Cassian moaned. Azriel couldn't help but moan from his tone of voice.

“Fuck, don’t know how you’ve lasted so damn long with him. I’m going to come again and you haven’t even come yet.” Cassian broke a laugh but it quickly faded when Azriel snapped his hips forward.

Unintelligible moans poured out of Rhys as he allowed them to use him as they pleased. Azriel rose to his knees and used one hand to keep Rhys steady while the other stroked him.

”Oh fuck—“ he thought he heard fall out of Rhys’ mouth and he looked up at his face and watched as more and more fresh tears stained his face. They fell to his collarbones and onto Cassian’s as well. Cassian wasn’t merciful on Rhys either as his hands continuously stimulated him, held him down tightly, and his mouth left kissed across his flushed skin.

Cassian fucked up into Rhys in time with Azriel’s thrusts and their moans mixed with Rhys’ when they found the perfect rhythm. His eyes rolled back as he fucked them harder, and Cassian’s own eyes snapped shut. Azriel also monitored the way Cassian felt, and he didn’t realize how far gone he was too. 

“You gonna come soon, Rhys?” Azriel asked even though he knew the answer already. That tight flame of pleasure already ignited deep inside him, and Azriel kenw Rhys was a few moments away. Rhys tried to nod, tried to say anything, but he couldn’t control his voice and he couldn’t even send his thoughts their way. 

A part of Azriel didn’t like that he couldn’t hear Rhys’ voice in his head, but the other part was possessive and ached for this power of being the reason Rhys couldn’t think to begin with. 

Love you so much, you're okay. Need you to come, need you to come now Rhys, please, Azriel thought and he hoped Rhys could still use his powers and hear him. From the sound of his moan, he knew he did.

”Wants us to fill him first,” Cassian said, and at those words, Rhys’ eyes lazily opened. He nodded.

”Oh,” Azriel gasped with realization. “Of course, how did I forget? When you feel us come you’ll come for us, right?’ Rhys nodded quickly and Cassian pulled him down by the throat again. Rhys cried out when Cassian fucked up into him harder.

”Please,” he whined. “Fill me.”

”Yeah—oh fuck—we got you—“ was the last thing Azriel could choke out before Cassian’s orgasm derailed his thoughts. Waves of pleasure came over Azriel as he felt Cassian fill Rhys, and he couldn’t contend with it.

His own pleasure found him again, and he caved to the powerful waves. His come mixed with Cassian’s inside of Rhys, and it took a lot of work he had to focus on to not slip out of him. Azriel didn’t stop, not as his moans punched out of his throat until it was dry. How could he when Rhysand cried for him to touch him harder and harder, and—

Rhys cried out a louder moan and struggled against their bodies when Azriel stroked him through his orgasm. Azriel was knocked down from the intensity of it, and he held himself up by his hand next to Cassian’s shoulder on the pillow. He watched Rhys and couldn’t even blink as expressions between pain and pleasure pulled at his beautiful face. That was when he realized he had stopped breathing from the tightness. Cassian also groaned from how tightly Rhys squeezed them, and his fingers held onto Rhys’ hips until they broke skin and bled.

”Oh my god, yes. Yeah you did so well for us, Rhys,” Azriel couldn’t help but praise, and Rhys could his breath as he lay on Cassian with his head still in the clouds. 

But Azriel didn’t stop.

Even as Rhys’ chest began to rise and fall harder with overstimulation, he didn’t stop. In fact, it was all the reason for him to stroke him harder, tighter.

”Az—“ Rhys choked out. He didn’t know what came over him. Maybe it was the addiction of watching Rhys lose himself, but he needed more. He needed to yank more out of him until Rhys was nothing in their arms. “Azriel!”

He didn’t say anything as overstimulation decimated Rhys’ remaining power of fighting back. Cassian held him down and shadows strapped Rhys down wherever Cass couldn’t reach.

“Holy shit,” Azriel laughed when another wave of pleasure took Rhys by the throat, only this time hardly anything came from him. Azriel knew that was it; Rhys had nothing left to give him, but a part of him didn’t want to care. 

“Please,” Rhys begged, and from the tone of voice, Azriel’s hand slowed. He knew it was coming. 

Yellow, Rhys thought and Azriel let go of him with a finishing kiss.

Later, when the three were cleaned and tangled in the same bed together, Rhys slowly came to. That distant and dazed look didn’t leave his eyes—Azriel assumed it wouldn’t for a few days. 

And it didn’t.

The three didn’t have any pressing needs either, and having been on a much needed rest from work, they rotted in bed together for a few days. It took a day for Rhys to utter a word and another two for him to even attempt to use his powers. Azriel didn’t intend to push him so far, but he already calculated how long it could be until he did it again.

Sometime in the afternoon almost three days after they first entered Rhys’ house, when the sun set over the distant blue horizon, Rhys’ ears perked and heart raced. Azriel too sent his shadows to attention that was when he sensed Feyre. She and the Valkyries were back. 

“Fucking finally,” Cassian sighed as he stood from the bed. Azriel harshly backhanded him.

”You’re acting like you didn’t enjoy spending time with us like this,” he snapped back. Rhys didn’t mind either of them. Not when the scent of his mate ruined almost all the work the boys did to bring him back down to earth.

”You’re right, I did enjoy it. Not my fault my mate is calling me away. Look at Rhys,” Azriel did and he already sat up mindlessly waiting for Feyre. “And by the looks of it, it sounds like someone else is trying to get your attention, Azriel.”

Azriel’s heart raced when Gwyn entered the house with the other two. 

Maybe Cassian and Rhys were right.

In a blink of an eye, Feyre stood in front of them. Her dark eyes didn’t escape from Rhys’ distant gaze.

”Do you know how hard it is to focus on a task when you both are distracting me?” She asked. She was met with silence. “Yeah, you two.” Cassian smirked as she pointed at him and Azriel. Azriel’s heart skipped. Rhys didn’t close off their bond through their session. “Unless you want to do it all over again and join us, I recommend leaving.” 

”Yes ma’am,” Cassian laughed as he winnowed away. Feyre looked at Azriel. He smiled evilly. 

“You’re welcome,” he simply said.

”Don’t go too far,” Feyre cut him off from winnowing. “There’s someone downstairs looking for you.”

”Why is she looking for me?” The darkness in Feyre’s eyes didn’t leave when she looked up at Azriel in the eyes.

”I’m not the only one who listened in on you guys.”

Azriel’s throat tied closed with nerves and a never ending arousal.

”So hurry,” Feyre demanded. “It actually wasn’t a question, I need Rhys to myself.”

Azriel nodded once and winnowed away.

”Az,” she gasped when he stood in the kitchen. 

He couldn’t take his eyes off Gwyn. She set her cup of water down and peered confidently right back up at him. She still wore her leathers and combative gear, and from the tang of her scent and sweat in her hair, he knew they must have just gotten back. She didn’t make it home yet.

”You didn’t go home.” She couldn’t hold back her smile.

”You want me to?”

”Not without me.” Then it fell as she looked back up at him. 

“And what do you think you would do as I clean myself up from our trip?” Azriel swallowed tightly.

”I mean you heard what we did with Rhys.” The heat that radiated off her almost knocked him off his feet with dizzying desperation. 

“I did,” she laughed. “You should be glad our mission wasn’t dangerous in any way.” Azriel’s eyebrows popped up, and he couldn’t hold the smile down. 

“Are you calling me distracting?” 

“I mean when you’re fucking someone for days and talking to them all like that I’d say so.” Taken back by her bluntness, Azriel licked his lips.

”Talking to them like what?”

”How you’re talking to me now.” He smiled.

”If you wanted me you could just say that.”

”You’re the one insisting you come home with me.” Azriel scoffed. He stepped into her personal space and her smile fell.

”You’re the one who came here to find me before you even went to your home.” 

“Fine,” she breathed and her hands slowly met his clothes. His heart leapt at the contact as her palms snaked up to his collarbones and neck. “You win.”

”I win?” He laughed as his hands found her waist. She hummed at the contact. He was jostled with nighttime memories they shared in her bed. Maybe they were far and few between, but mattered more than any he already had. “I didn’t realize we were competing.”

”How about you just shut up and take me home. Rhys gave you a lot of decent practice, don’t you think?”

His heart stopped and he gritted his teeth to power through the brunt of her words. 

He couldn’t help but kiss her as he winnowed her away from the High Lord’s estate.

When Vessel was asked to do that interview, a part of me froze to the floor in shock that he agreed.

It was backstage after a show, and I was in the middle of the chaos between celebrating, post show rituals, and crew clean up. It was always get to venue, work with venue, go to the next venue that I forgot to catch my breath in between. IV was the one who told me when Vessel spoke to their manager and a manager from the venue who brought a man who worked at the radio station around the corner. It sounded crazy and on a whim, but there was no other way I would expect any of them to accept an interview.

“I’m sorry, what now?” Was the only way I could reply to IV’s foreign words. He huffed a laugh as the facemask and jacket hit the sofa behind him. He brushed a hand through dripping sweaty hair.

”You heard me, so hurry and get shit together.” He tried to walk past me but I stood in front of him.

”An interview? You guys are taking an interview right now?”

”Yeah,” he said. “Just Vessel and II actually, but this morning Vessel got a message from the radio statio sponsoring the venue, and we were asked to do two acoustic songs and maybe an interview in between and he said yes after sending an outline of what we are willing to talk about.”

”Jesus Christ,” I gasped and his arm moved past me.

”So let’s hurry because showers and packing are a must.” My eyes darted around the room. Backstage crew already started the dirty work of cleaning his dressing room so I spun on my heel to apologize to the venue’s backstage crew.

”Oh my god!” I gasped as I rounded the corner and collided into someone. “I’m so sorry.”

”You’re so good,” he laughed.

“I was actually looking for you,” I said and he paused. He was the backstage crew team leader.

”What’s up?”

”The band just now accepted an interview at the radio station and they are busting their ass trying to get over there. I’m really sorry but I gotta get their shit and take care of them. I usually clean the venue and help your team but I just fucking can’t—“

”No prob, I totally understand.”

“Okay good,” I sighed as I continued on past him. My heart pounded in my throat. “Thanks so much.” He waved me on as he collected his team.

Of course the first room I broke into was Vessel’s.

There he was back to the door with another crew member with him. He spun around hastily with his eyes wide and wandering. They softened as they landed on me.

”What?” I simply asked as I closed the door and walked up to him.

”Yes,” he quickly said. “It’s fine.”

”Are you sure it’s fine? Ivy talked about an outline, did you actually—“

”Yes,” he repeated as he whirled around and grabbed a paper from the desk. The fluorescent bulbs around it etched our shadows into the white walls on the other side of us. “Here. Make whatever changes you think are necessary. I already sent it to them, but we can give them a new physical—”

”Vessel,” I said quietly and he stopped. He looked at the crew member and they started for the door. I took a deep breath.

Alone now, he took a step closer.

”I’m really sorry we’ve been moving so fast I hardly have seen you.”

”That-That’s fine, we can talk about that later. Right now I’m wondering what the hell you’re thinking about saying in that—“

My voice died in my throat when he held my face with both of his hands.

”For such a pretty face it sure is twisted up with stress and anger a lot. Maybe chill out for a moment.”

I sighed impatiently before he kissed me. Maybe it numbed the ringing thoughts that pestered my mind, but it took my whine for him to pull away. I pushed him off me.

”No really though, what are you going to say?”

”You really think we have done anything not calculated? I didn’t mean to leave you out of this, I had known about the station’s interest, and we had already decided we’d do an acoustic like three or four days ago. Hey now, I know I’m sorry don’t be upset,” he soothed me as my eyebrows rose and cold air filled my lungs. “It was kind of spur of the moment, but at the same time we’ve been considering it for a while, honestly ever since this album dropped.”

”Why didn’t you say anything?”

”To be fair, it’s only one interview where we put harsh parameters the host must follow.”

”Maybe,” I sighed. “I’d like to be more in the loop of things.”

”I know,” he sighed this time. “And I’m sorry about that. We keep being pulled in different directions with work.” I held him tightly as his arms came around me.

“How the hell did you shower so fast?” He burst out laughing and pushed me away. “I just realized you already washed the paint off.”

”Yeah, I knew we were in a rush so I went straight to the showers. We gotta go now though,” he said as he turned back around and got his things in order.

”Ves?” A voice on the other side of the door grabbed our attention followed by a couple knocks.

”Yeah?” He asked and the door slowly opened.

”Oh hey,” III greeted me when his eyes landed on mine first. “Crew’s good to go.”

”Shit, already?” He asked. A few crew members rushed in from III’s side.

”Yeah so let’s go. The car’s out back and Ivy’s already waiting.”

”Alright,” he sighed. He yanked on a black hoodie, grabbed his sunglasses, a black face mask, and shoved paperwork, his laptop, and personal belongings back into his backpack before he followed me out of the room.

”Ves,” I whispered as I allowed more space between us and III.

”What?” He asked as his hands met my waist so he wouldn’t run into me.

”I could just go back to the hotel room, I don’t have to—“

”No, you’re coming.”

”Okay,” I simply said. I was not the one to argue with Vessel in the middle of a rushed group of people trying to get from one venue to another.

As we emerged from the backstage, another SUV pulled up and I looked to my right to see the first already leaving. Vessel and I got in just as II rushed through the backstage door as well. He hopped in the passenger front seat.

”The interview is literally only ten minutes,” Vessel started I watched as he looked up from his phone. “We don’t have time for much more if we want to sleep.”

”What will you even say in ten minutes?” II looked at me with a smirk that skipped my heart. What did they have planned? “Ves, what’s—“

”Did you not read the paper I showed you?” I shook my head.

”Uh no, I had an entire sixteen seconds to look at it before we hauled ass out of there.” II burst out laughing.

”It’s all planned. It’s just a message we’re sending out.”

A message.

I didn’t push them for anymore.

When should I ever have doubted them? Vessel gave me a dark all knowing look, and I wondered if this was all part of their show, why did they need me? More so, why did Vessel need me?

This was all his story anyway.

In the radio station, II led Vessel into the recording room with a guitar in hand, and I was surprised that II was the one playing and not IV or at least Vessel. But when I peered through the glass door, I watched the way their eyes met, and I remembered once again how this all started in the first place.

The last thing I anticipated was Vessel and II whipping out Jericho acoustic in the middle of an on air radio station at 11:45pm but here we were.

“Until I wake I dine on old encounters, you taste like new flesh.”

As Vessel sang, my eyes were totally transfixed just as they always were when that man opened his mouth. It wasn’t often that I got to watch II play guitar for him; he used to before they pulled an entire band together.

“Something in the way you lay, enough to make the dead switch graves.”

A round of chills itched my skin as I watched Vessel’s body move with his voice. What the hell were they doing and why the hell did they start with this song? This was old, before Vessel and I were together old, and that says a lot.

I knew what this song meant to him, and I knew its place in his story. It was the start of something different and new after he put to rest his life before.

And when II started fingerpicking the melody of Euclid, I almost wanted to cry. It was a beginning, it was an end. Or was Euclid an end? Maybe it was a corridor?

“Just run it back, give me five whole minutes I am thick tar on the inside burning…”

I couldn’t get over his voice, the way he moved as he sang. The deepest part of himself was exposed if only for a moment, and I was proud that the world got to see that of him. I got the rest.

“Call me when you have the time I just need to leave this part of me behind. Do you remember me?”

I concealed a gasp as I thought about it. The transformation—the ascension and inability to move on after learning a deeper knowledge—he can’t go back but if he wants to move on he has to recognize that it changed him. Now he asks if he’s still recognizable through this change.

“For me it’s still the autumn leaves, these ancient canopies, that we used to lay beneath…”

He’s known by her because of the setting they are in, wherever they are. I wrestled with the idea of this being him versus himself or if he had actually moved away, but it sounded to me that he was the only one who had changed because she had always been the same and she had always been there for him at the same time, every time.

“By now the night belongs to you, this bough has broken through. I must be someone new…”

What was the interview about? Why would Vessel crank these two songs out back to back before uttering a word?

“In turning divine, we tangle endlessly. Like lovers entwined I know for the last time. You will not be mine so give me the night…”

My lips parted in anticipation when II put down the guitar and the host and crew clapped. But Vessel grabbed the mic and brought it closer to his facemask as the host spoke.

With a fullness in his chest, Vessel completely interrupted the host’s first question.

“Light is what brought me closer to death. It’s not death itself that swallows whole, but the light that comes from it. Darkness is soothing after being burned, and when I allowed it to finally cover me, it made me new. I faced this light until it scoured me thoroughly, and I wasn’t sure I could ever feel whole again but I fought and fought through this anger and it promised something on the other end. I had known a kind of peace until this chemical found me, and I had never seen light again after I fought it. But it took me out of all I knew; a naive place that tortured me none the wiser. Now, through ascending into this darkness, I found a different peace, one that I was sure no one thought was possible.

“Though I found that there is a god who has made peace known, and even though I have stood face to face with her inside of myself, I have found that there’s still something beyond. Something inside of the looming dark that follows us even when we don’t know. It’s not the antithesis of who this god is, however, I have found that it not only lives not as an opposite, but a mirror of who this god could be. A shadow that this god created, and she has called it good.”

When Vessel pushed the microphone away, chills cascaded down my arms, and when they both stood up, I held my breath so my stomach could settle.

I didn’t wait to hear what the stunned radio host had to say as Vessel and II left the recording room, and I didn’t ask them what was going on when they passed me and b-lined for the backdoor from where we came. When we hopped into the SUV again, it sounded like Vessel took a breath.

And I was certain that it was the recycled air I once had because the tension in my chest nearly suffocated me.

”That was good, man,” II’s light cherry voice said as he reached a hand back.

”Thanks, man,” Vessel said casually and clapped his hand once. My throat burned and I laughed to break my tension.

”Jesus Christ.”

The closing of the hotel door was what welcomed the ringing back into my ears. Vessel passed me and dropped his bag to the floor. I slowly did the same as him. His voice in the interview and that light in his eyes; he was all consuming when those words flow through him. I watched as he pulled the facemask and glasses off, and I wasn’t able to think about anything else other than that interview.

Never in a lifetime would I assume Vessel would agree to an interview live on air, but there we were but four minutes post show.

“Hey,” he breathed. “Are you okay?”

”I think I’m very tired.” He nodded.

”Me too.”

“The next album will be so badass, won’t it?” And he broke a wide smile.

”If you let it be.” Of course I nodded, and he walked towards me.

”Won’t you show it to me already?” My voice was almost a whine as his hands traveled up my sides.

“You’ve looked in the mirror thousands of times already,” he sighed as he kissed my face and dropped his lips down my neck. I hummed as I tipped my head to the side to give him room.

“You’re an idiot.” I gasped when his teeth stung my skin. “But no really,” I gasped before a frustrated sound punched from me. He fully ignored me and devoured my skin leaving cool trails of chills in his wave. “I need to know. I need to hear it; it’s not fair that I don't get to hear it before the world—oh god.” He lifted me up by the backs of my thighs and laid me down on the bed.

”Vessel,” I whined his name but he didn’t give me an answer. He tried to distract me with his mouth, his hands, his body but of course it didn’t work. “At least tell me something.”

”Did you listen to what I said in the interview?” The knot in my throat bobbed and I nodded quickly.

”How can I ever not listen to what you have to say?” He sighed as that familiar endearing gaze looked down at me. He pushed the hair from my face.

”The entire point of the albums is how I learned to trust myself and find peace in myself after not being able to, you do know that right?” I nodded again. “And so if you listened to what I said at that interview—“

”You have a weird way of doing interviews.” He broke a smile but continued on.

”Then I wanted to ask you if you know what your name meant?” My heart skipped.

I knew what it meant, but when did he take the time to find out? Of course he did; at this point I had to assume that this man knew everything intricate because there was no detail he missed.

”What does it mean?” His voice playfully rose. I swallowed hard as his mouth etched down my throat again. I had to slam my eyes closed because the room dizzied around us. My hand found his hair as he pulled my shirt up and gave my stomach the same attention.

”It means,” I choked when his eyes flashed up at me evilly; his fingers traced the underside of the top of my pants. “It means belonging to the dark.”

“That’s right.” The sweet smoothness of his voice hit my skin and another wave of chills flooded the area locally. The zip of my pants. “So if you put two and two together…” A flush heated my face and I covered my eyes with the back of my arm. I couldn’t hold back a moan when my pants came off of me and pulled my underwear down with them.

“You’re insane,” I hummed. It was the only semblance of a sentence I could muster. He broke a laugh and held my hip with one hand; his thumb pushed into my skin and stroked the area that would probably soon be flushed red with irritation and friction. “Oh shit—“ My nails dug into his scalp when he sucked harsh bruises in between my thighs. He was so close but so far and everywhere all at once except the exact place I needed most. “You're just so-so obsessed with me, aren't you?”

”You know I’m obsessed with everything and everyone I love, and you I love the most.”

“Then hurry, why do you always keep me waiting.”

”Because I’m just really not kind and love to watch you beg for me and need me the way I need you.” Heat encapsulated my heart, and I pulled on him until he followed my touch and crawled eye level to me.

”I don’t think there’s a moment where I don’t need you.”

”Maybe I just enjoy watching you show it like this.”

”Maybe it just taps your ego when I’m begging for you.” His head tossed side to side in contemplation as a smirk drew on his dark lips.

”Maybe, maybe not—“ I pulled him into a kiss before he could waste anymore time and words. This time he moaned into my mouth when I pulled on his hair and touched down the front of his clothes.

When my hand reached the top of his sweatpants, he pushed his hips into it and I smiled through the kiss.

”And now you’re teasing me for wanting you back?” He gasped as he caught his breath. “You can’t blame me, it’s been a couple weeks now.”

“And whose fault is that?” He shook his head and dropped the playful demeanor.

When he shoved me into the pillows until I sank no more, I knew we were done with the teasing and prodding. Especially when he was the one who haphazardly pulled at his pants until they were on the floor. I was the one who snaked my hands up the front of his hoodie and remembered every inch of his skin before I, too, yanked an article of clothing off.

He moaned as it came up and over his head; he sat to his knees as I rose up and chased his skin down.

”Baby,” he hummed when I kissed his skin, staring at his chest and slowly making my way down. “Oh fuck—“ I startled him when I immediately wrapped my hand around him and stroked him slowly. I didn’t waste time, like I said, and I knew he assumed I wanted revenge in teasing but I couldn’t. He brushed his hand through my hair to keep it from my face, and his breathing became so heavy that his body moved in time with it.

When my kisses were so low that his heat fogged my breath and I felt the pacing of my hand on his length against my chin, he subconsciously pushed me lower.

”There’s no need to be so mean,” he sighed breathlessly.

And so I smiled up at him like he smiled at me from below.

He shook his head and blinked furiously.

“Now,” he demanded as his fingers gouged my scalp. With a gasp, I opened my mouth and took everything from him that I could. His moans alone were worth the teasing.

I moaned out of my nose once, partly because of the weight of him on my tongue and partly because I couldn’t breathe when he shoved that deep into me, and my eyes watered as he thrusted his hips harsher than he probably needed to.

”Good—fuck, you’re doing so well for me, always make me feel so good.”

I did. I always made him feel otherworldly, no wonder why he was so obsessed with me. I would be obsessed with myself too.

I moaned around him as he tapped the back of my throat and I pressed my tongue harder against the underside of him. He gasped and lurched forward only to be stung by my nails in his hips.

”Sorry,” he whispered ever so quietly. I came off of him with a gasp and stroked him quickly until uncontrollable moans punched out of him.

“Don’t suffocate me.” A small smile pulled at the corner of his lips.

”Don’t worry,” he laughed. “You take my breath away too.” I slapped his thigh as I took him down again. Another string of moans and explicit words fell from his mouth, and I repeated every movement that I knew pulled more and more of those sweet sounds from him. My hand now pumped him where I couldn’t comfortably reach, and his face twisted and his head rolled back with pleasure when I tightened around him. His hips rhythmically moved in and out, and I knew it built under his skin. I knew he climbed and climbed and I knew where he was going.

”Stop,” he breathed. “I’m filling you with my come somewhere else.” I gasped when he roughly pulled me off of him.

And when he was free, he acted so fast I didn’t have the time to think.

My head pinned to the pillows and my thighs pushed back until they couldn’t anymore. His mouth was on mine as if he needed to taste himself on my tongue, and I pulled and scratched him until I was sure he was permanently under my nails.

I didn’t stop him and I didn’t try to sit up and defy his unspoken orders when he kissed and bit down my body. He yelled anked the rest of my clothes off in the process, and I tried to catch my breath, but the fire under his mouth intensified and consumed me whole. How could I even take a breath when all his energy was spent on lavishing my body like this?

”Ves—“ He didn’t stop, no, not when I tried to call for him. Not when I tugged on his hair again; I knew it could bring him to his knees so of course it egged him on. ”Oh my god—“ A similar trail of expletives left my throat the moment his tongue met me. He pressed my thighs back and didn’t allow me a second to close them. His moans were all I needed to hear, and I tossed my head back.

Obscene noises of his tongue and fingers working the mess in between my legs mixed with my moans, and somewhere in the thick of it he also hummed at the taste of me. I felt the bed move once and twice and I wished it was me he grinded into instead of the mattress.

”Ves please, it’s enough.”

”Not enough for me,” he spat and dove back down. Tears welled in my burning eyes the moment his tongue replaced his fingers inside of me. His thumb now swirled against me and he didn’t slow the relentless movements even as I whined and begged.

“How many times do I have to tell you; I need you inside of me, now,” I seethed. He came up for air.

”You’ll tell me every single time I want you to and every time you say it I need to hear it again.”

”It just sounds like I’m in control here.” He scoffed and shook his head.

“You’re silly, who cares?” I didn’t, and certainly not when he looked at me like I gave him breath.

”Stop,” I whined. “I’m past ready. I want you.”

“I always want you,” he sighed in response, and when he crawled over me and sank down to kiss me, he slid into me in one startling motion. I whined against him, and immediately my palms found his back. It was so fast that I didn’t have time to catch my breath. He finally gave me what I asked for, but I didn’t expect him to so easily.

He was just as tired as I was.

”Oh god,” he sighed as he held my face, his thumb hooked under my jaw. “You always feel so fucking good for me, you’re mine. My bed, my home.” I groaned as he picked up the pace and rolled his hips with mine firmly.

”Ves,” I sighed and I pushed his hair back. He lifted himself high so he could catch his breath, and I couldn't pull my eyes from the way his closed tightly. His lips parted in pleasure and moans fell from them. His arm hooked under my waist and he yanked me down on him just as he fucked his hips forward. “Shit!” I gasped and that was when he opened his eyes and looked down with a smile.

”Yeah like that?” He teased. “You know I know what you like, you know I know how to make you feel good.”

”I know,” I whined. So I also rolled my hips towards him in time with his movements, and I squeezed around him just as he pushed as deep as he could.

”Fuck—“ he gasped, and he caught himself with his hand next to my head on the pillows. “If you keep doing that, you better be alright with me filling your pussy full because I can’t stop.” I choked a gasp from his cutthroat sentiment, and I only pulled him deeper and deeper.

”Can’t believe you would even question if I would be okay with that or not,” I spat and he grabbed me by the hair.

“Oh yeah? You would be okay being stuffed full of my come all the time, wouldn’t you?”

“If you don’t fuck me properly I might die.”

”Always the dramatics with you,” he sighed dramatically before he raised to his knees and yanked my hips over his thighs. I gasped and threw my hands to the bed behind me to keep me from falling back on my upper back.

”As if you’re not equally dramatic.” The only response he had for me was the punishing thrusts of his hips, and I bit my lip until I tasted blood so that the band member who shared walls with us didn’t have to hear me. “Oh my fucking god, this is just practice. When we get home I expect you to try to make neighbors hear you.”

”Fuck,” I cried when I opened my mouth. He grabbed my hips and fucked them down on him harder with a smile on his face. “The nearest house is a three minute walk away.” He laughed and nodded his head.

”Yeah, that’s how hard I’ll go on you.”

”I’m so close,” I finally broke. His smile fell and he watched my hand as he dipped in between us and swirled against me.

”I know,” he whispered. He kissed me but I couldn’t even kiss back; the pleasure decimated any kind of chance I had at tasting him. My teeth held onto his lip and he allowed me to have a tiny hold on him.

”Baby,” he gasped in warning. I opened my eyes and watched as his were hazy and filled with intensity. “I’m going to.” I nodded quickly.

”Fill me,” I whined, and neither of us could get out another word. He wrapped his arms around my waist so I wouldn’t fall, and my hand found the back of his neck to bring him closer. At the sound of my name on his lips, my eyes snapped shut. Pleasure showered over me, and I couldn’t breathe or stop for anything. I couldn’t do anything except let it swallow me and possess me completely.

His fingers left bruises on my side, on my hip, and he slowed his movements. Even as overstimulation caught up to me, I allowed him to still ride his pleasure out. I held onto him still and finally was able to kiss him. He hardly kissed back, too blissed out and out of his body still, but I didn’t care and I kissed him, down his face and neck, and tangled my fingers in his hair again. He hummed and tipped back into the touch.

“God, you keep ruining me,” he moaned. I laughed.

”You did this to yourself.” He smiled and finally opened his eyes. I pushed his hair back and took initiative to fully sit on him. This time his hands found the bed behind him and he held himself up as I straddled him. I couldn't take my gaze from his eyes as the haze mixed with contentment and fatigue. I could drown in them all day for eternity.

“You are just so cruel to me and for what?” I laughed evilly when I didn’t get away with my intentions; of course he clocked me. “I can feel it all over me already.”

”It’s not my fault I just wanted to see you and hold you.”

”Yeah, right,” he scoffed. I kissed him breathless, and this time my hand hooked under his jaw. He moaned into me and his hand came up my back.

And when we were breathless and flushed again, I pulled away from him.

”Don’t you—okay,” he sighed in defeat. I laughed as I got off of him; our mess poured from me and onto him to deal with.

I laughed as I grabbed a towel from the bathroom. When I walked back, he was in the same position with dark eyes tracing my entire body.

”Maybe I should force you to clean it up without the towel,” he said. I sat in between his legs and he looked down at me.

”Then what would I use?” I anticipated his reply as I lowered myself further and further down.

”It seems like you already know—“ He cut himself off with a gasp when my tongue met his skin. I licked up our fluids and he thrusted his hips up again in reflex. But I held him down, and when I was done, I straddled him again.

I didn’t expect him to follow through with it, but there he was succumbing to my thumb that pulled his bottom lip down. Then the fluids poured from my mouth into his. His chest heaved once or twice and his eyes widened with an overwhelmed darkness, but I didn’t care. I held him steady there and kissed him when I couldn’t wait anymore. I should have been revolted by the taste of ourselves shared between us, but I couldn’t be when it was tempered by the sweetness of his moans.

”That’s going to fucking kill me,” he gasped when I pulled away, and it was true; his face flushed pink. I smiled and held it still.

”And you’ll be fine because you want it to.”