(text copied from under cut for preservation purposes) (AND THIS NEEDS TO BE PRESERVED)
Rose: Was the colorblindness intentional?
Dave: for legal reasons no
Rose: And also for non-legal reasons?
Dave: dont tell the press but yeah just a happy accident not unlike our fucked up future doomed children
Rose: Lights of our afterlives.
Rose: Are you implying that you figuratively “wrapped up” your direction/editorial sense for preventative purposes and the whole breaking-cones-in-your-eyes thing was an unfortunate consequence of a figurative busted condom?
Rose: Perhaps you double-bagged it, unawares that doing so increases the friction between layers and actually makes them more susceptible to undesired tears.
Dave: well im 34 so i know that thanks
Rose: I’m speaking figuratively, about movies. There’s also a metaphor we could draw regarding the necessary 3-month window between (STI) screenings.
Dave: i feel like there is a different conversation youre trying to have with me
Rose: I just worry. You received your sex education from a Texas public school.
Dave: i am the last dude who needs schooled on sex or do you not read the tabloids
Dave: youre speaking to time’s pimpdaddy master of the year
Rose: You once asked me if the tin of loose, assorted pills I carry in my purse was my Plan B.
Dave: yes and you told me they were altoids and i took one and cried for 4 hours we both remember this fondly i dont know why youre trying to sully the experience now
Rose: Tell me about all those poor innocent people you blinded.
Dave: look basically color works based on light right so if you can increase the surface area of the eye thats receiving light youd be able to see a wider array of colors more vibrantly right
Rose: That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about eyes to argue.
Dave: i invented the color superpurple
Dave: according to the most refined scientific instruments and the shrimp we used in the first experiments
Dave: but the human eye doesnt take in enough light to perceive it so we launched this hush hush chemical trial where viewers would be injected with a serum that made their retinas swell
Dave: and if we showed superpurple right after an off-color (lol) joke made people widen their eyes and we turned all the lights on in the theatre then theyd be able to see it
Rose: “It” being superpurple, a color which you invented. Intentionally. By moving the saturation slider all the way to the right in AfterEffects, I assume.
Dave: its a political color its a big fuck you to the space tyrants oh you think youre sooo purple youre not even the purplest thing ive seen
Rose: And now it’s the only thing people can see.
Dave: yeah well now its actually a better political message
Dave: the apocalypse is unfolding on the basis of this arbitrary color-coded caste system itd all be solved if you couldnt see color
Dave: would be dope if the heiress actually watched my flicks and then was like oh shit wait since when is earth filled with highbloods? am i tripping?
Dave: theyre even purpler than me i guess we should leave these mfs alone peace
Dave: repeat for all planets in the universe boom mission accomplished extermination avoided intergalactic peace restored
Rose: This space diplomacy shit easy.
Dave: except i guess for any aliens that dont have blood but fuck you if you dont have blood thats some bug shit
Rose: Bugs have blood. They have a different form of circulatory system.
Dave: yeah youd know all about that you bloodsucker
Dave: too bad everyones gonna be dead before they get the whole message
Rose: Yes, if only there was a comparable system of discrimination equated to “basis of color” that present day humans without our gift of foresight could understand.
Rose: I’m turning the key in the ignition again and again in the theater of my mind, but the engine is only whirring and clicking.
Rose: Don’t pretend you know things about cars, least of all the cars in the theater of my mind.
Dave: could be the witchy dark sludge that you use instead of oil in your tentacled batmobile
Rose: There are formal caste systems still in place today in many parts of the world, and informal caste systems in all but name nearly every place else.
Rose: You could stand to make a practical comment on modern politics outside of juvenile flagrant offense that gets misappropriated by the groups you’re satirizing.
Dave: that is so rich coming from you and your 300-million-word tomes about white wizards fucking each other
Rose: If you’d read even one of my books, you’d know they’re intentionally aracial.
Dave: suuuuch a copout when have aracial characters ever done jackshit for anybody
Dave: and i have read one of your books
Dave: the collection of sonnets
Rose: That was published under a different pseudonym and doesn’t count. Not the least of which because you listened to the audiobook.
Rose: I doubt you’re capable of perceiving any text that isn’t red and forming a wall of barely-comprehensible, self-congratulatory drivel.
Dave: well now i know youve never watched any of my movies
Dave: because you can still tell my texts are red
