Moon

I'm honestly struggling so much with wanting to relapse at the moment. I've been eating well and going to the gym/being active a lot, but I keep getting the overwhelming desire to loose the 12kgs I've gained and get back to 43kgs. I'm so mad at myself for gaining the weight, yet am torn as it's given me so much more freedom. This combined with the fact my anxiety is so high atm and depression keeping me in a constant low state, I'm really struggling. Like every meal is hard, and my anxiety is helping anorexia by making me feel sick at meal times which makes eating 100x more difficult. I thought it would get beettter in the summer, but it hasn't, and my ed is taking control again.