tyler

Looking back at these posts is surreal I was such in bad place like I wasn’t even me anymore. I’m going to keep it up though so I can look back on this page to prove that things can get better.

It’s really hard to not kill myself when I’m often home alone no one would find me until like a day or two I just been battling this life for most of it I’m doing everything therapy pills coping skills but there’s this overwhelming emptiness and sadness that’s just been growing for over a decade and I don’t think I would survive maybe this year or when I’m older. My trauma is just too much for me.

I can’t believe I almost —— myself to that 80’s song song, only you

I coût myself for the first time in maybe a year I actually drew blood and I felt better I almost killed myself today and I don’t feel anyway about it. I’m going to try inpatient treatment. I think it’s unfortunate how coût-ing made me feel so much better almost instantly. I just want to be a better person so bad but there’s this sadness I can’t get rid of even with all treatment through these three years. I feel trapped by my body and that feeling and it makes me feel hopeless.

I’m losing