28, He/Them May/Hem

Rat detected. Make him jiggle.

Holy shit I assume everyone is doing an up and down jiggle and maybe a side to side jiggle but if you jiggle your phone forward and backwards he jiggles in and out, too

Tumblr used to be so funny. There was a shoplifting community there was rabies pride

When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

big shoutout to the handful of blogs who follow me for one specific organism and every time it appears they go hog wild

the worst part about ocd and ocd-like tendencies is that you think hyper-analyzing your thoughts and constantly psychoanalyzing yourself will fix you but that's actually part of the disorder. it's the disorder. disordering.

Heh… but surely, if i go one level deeper, and psychoanalyize how much im psychoanalyzing my previous thoughts, that will be the key…

“does this character eat pussy” poll and it’s your full name first middle and last under an unflattering candid picture of you having a bad experience at the grocery store

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE

it’s called “the late 90s/early 00s was a WILD time in consumer electronics”

@virtualgirladvance @k1nky-r0b0t-g1rl

@ohabeeeeeee

Thinking about him (the soldier in Poynter’s Faithful Until Death painting watching an apocalypse unfold around him with horror in his eyes as he tries to keep himself standing beneath a doorway, based on an actual 19th century archeological find of a man in full soldier’s garb under a doorway at Pompeii)

if you're interested in experiencing the most undignified way of having a bad time ever devised, then look no further than having a body

unfortunately if you ever want to experience the most delightful sensations this world has to offer you will also need a body for that

the (straight!) wedding my partner was at today played good luck babe as one of the last songs, and I’m starting to think the straights don’t understand, like, words or text?

like even her other gay songs would make more sense?? Red wine supernova or feminenomenom would be weird but at least they’re upbeat?? Good Luck Babe is literally anti heterosexual marriage AND sort of a downer???

and now to celebrate marrying my man, my new favorite pop hit: “you will regret marrying a man” by Chappel Roan

doesn’t get much more interesting than this

For decades stoners were renowned for their aesthetics. For their blacklight posters and lava lamps, for their airbrushed dragon murals and electrical shock orb thingies from Spencer Gifts. Then they legalized weed and every weed store became the flattest, emptiest minimalist void imaginable. They're putting a weed store in a former Rainforest Cafe and they're tearing out all of the rainforest decor to make it just a big empty space with walls painted the blandest green they can find. They tore down paradise and put up a place where a business major tries to tell you CDB oil can cure cancer