gentle hill racer @romythethirteenth - Tumblr Blog

drunk thinking about ethel cain

#this isn't even a joke #because last time i got drunk i cried thinking of the song janie

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i don't necessarily think that if it's meant to be then it will be, but i DO believe in forgiving it all as it comes to me

#ethel cain

phoebebyers

will byers | what's wrong with me by olivia rodrigo feat. robert smith

kissboybyler

AAAA I SAW YOUR EDIT ON INSTA AS WELL AND ALMOST SOBBED IM SICKKKK

hate when an obscenely popular girl i hate on principal is actually really nice and funny and cool. like goddamn it.

why would i ever try to write a book when the Haunting of Hill House has already been written. like perfection has been reached already.

#haunting of hill house #BOOK only #don't bring that bullshit tv show near me #they made eleanor and theo siblings like im ILL

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god i love sleeping for 16 hours straight

#sleeping #there was a period in tenth grade where i would do this every day

(rocking back and forth) all flowers in time bend towards the sun, all flowers in time bend towards the sun, all flowers in fucking time bend towards the fucking sun

#jeff buckley #all flowers in time bend towards the sun

maliciouslittlewhiteboy

barty “i grew up pretending sticks were little guns / i would point em at my dad and he’s get mad / cause god forbid i hurt someone” crouch jr

sw1ngset-starz

feeling no will to live so the only logical thing to do is reread the goldfinch again

#currently

i feel like theo decker when he got so drunk he laid on the road waiting for cars to run him over

#but he lived in the fucking desert so no cars came #the goldfinch

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im like cameron winter if he couldn't write music so he was just kinda there being cameron winter

#geese #cameron winter

"for a chemical imbalance you sure know how to ride a train" this doesn't apply to me because im famously bad at riding trains. i can ride buses though so write that down.

#phoebe bridgers #again

rawstrap

"!!" is its own word to me

romythethirteenth

i find myself funny

romythethirteenth

for instance, i ate an apple and my first thought was it reminded me of the taste of cider. i thought that was funny.

i find myself funny

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everything's funny until i remember theo decker

#this is a joke because i can never forget theo decker #due to him being me #the goldfinch

throwing-ice-cubes

i know a lot of tgf fans joke about the painting being theo's heart but its SO SERIOUS to me.

thats the physical manifestation of all the parts of himself that he leaves chained up, wrapped in so many layers of newspaper and tape and fabric because he can't bear to have it exposed to the light. and it becomes so painfully obvious why his adult life felt so meaningless, why all the apartments he viewed with his soon-to-be-wife "smelled like divorce, bankruptcy, illness and death". because all he was looking for, in every apartment, were "potential hiding spaces" (going as far as "fantasizing about a secret, climate-controlled CLOSET, combination lock only").

and why, even though theo had said, multiple times, that no one in his life (besides HOBIE) would be able to know what it was, boris confesses he stole it by simply claiming that "he wanted it", and "anyone could see" what it was. and why boris said he will do anything and everything to get it back to theo, "for old times sake, just to have, to really be his, TO KEEP IN THE CLOSET OR GET OUT AND LOOK AT LIKE THE OLD DAYS".

and why once theo finds out that that part of himself was no longer sealed away, locked under boris' phone number combination, he realizes that "all his adult life had been privately sustained by that great, hidden, savage joy: the conviction that his whole life was balanced atop a secret that might at any moment blow it apart".

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