weird barking and meowing pigeon

that last teapot is like witnessing an eternal and important truth

I just watched this with the sound on and i really recommend it because the utter silence of the last teapot is both perfectly predictable and totally remarkable.

was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

girl put that snout AWAY it is not sniffing time right now

and thats what i would say if there could ever be a reason to put your snout away. its always sniffing time. i love you.

it's an absolutely magical moment when a new slang word goes from "that thing some people are saying" to "part of my vocabulary." I still remember the moment in 8th grade when I heard someone use the word lit in such a humorous way that I decided then and there to adopt it

if you ever bouncing your leg or shaking your foot that bc you were borned without a tail to swish swish...

hey everyone! i just came up with a neat new tone tag for when something you say is up to journalistic standards and would hold up to any kind of rigor it's /j for journalism! i hope this helps someone today 🥰