#1 Rock Enjoyer

Here are the rules for submission:

Include an image of the specific rock specimen you want me to try! I gotta know what exactly you're going for. Because of this, as well as some other factors, submissions over anon are currently not allowed and will be deleted. This may change in the future. (Sidenote: Please do not submit more than 3 different specimens per rock, I can only eat so much at once! If I get more than 3, I will pick 1-3 of the most interesting looking ones to rate. I may or may not come back later for the others, but I make no promises.)

Include an image source as well. I prefer Wikipedia, but if any geology folks know some other reliable sources, absolutely let me know and I'll put 'em on a list. Unsourced submissions may still get posted, but they'll take longer because I'll need to confirm i have the right rock and/or that it's not genai. I'm not a geologist!

Please include some kind of image description if you can manage it. This is also not a dealbreaker, but I'd like to make this as accessible as possible. If you cannot provide one, I'll try and make one, but I'm still not great at it imo.

Not a submission-specific rule, just a general one: Behave about the fact that I'm a fictive. Be respectful. Also be respectful about endogenic systems.

Another general rule/notice: I am a grown-ass woman or whatever the fuck. I'm going to be at least a bit irreverent and potentially make jokes or references not suitable for all audiences. Proceed at your own discretion.

One last PSA: If you are bigoted on this blog, i reserve the right to draw you being put in the torment nexus and/or to Eat You. You're not wanted here until you shape up and learn to coexist with your fellow people in a way that is conducive to a functioning goddamn society/community. Go away.

Keep in mind that as I am a member of a system and not the host, I'm not in front as often as Byrd is. I'll do my best to keep up on all of this but sometimes I might need Byrd to do a bit of writing for me, and overall I might take a bit longer than most gimmick blogs to respond. Absolutely still submit rocks though!

Hmmmmmm. I couldn't find anything called Moscovite, but I got a lot of results for Muscovite instead, and it did look a lot like this. Because of that, I'm going to assume you meant Muscovite - if I'm wrong, please feel free to provide a link to Moscovite that is not Muscovite and I'll provide a rating for that one instead.

First and foremost, this looks to have an excellent texture. Kinda like those fancy potato dishes i keep seeing people make where they basically slice out a bunch of super thin potato chips but then bake them in some kind of fat with cheese and seasonings or something. I've never had one quite like that, but I've had a somewhat similar, albeit less fancy dish with much thicker potato slices and so much cheese...

Anyways. There seem to be lots of kinds of muscovite, so I'll be going based off of the images provided.

The first one, I'd say, is... it's okay. It's got this weird artificial cheese flavor on the outside that has a hint of... pennies? No, I think it's one of those metallic flavors that makes your mouth water like crazy. Works weirdly well with the cheese. The inside, though? Kind of a rich and creamy and... unpleasantly sweet, medicinal flavor. Not great with the whole cheese-metal combo. Cool experience though, not gonna lie. That's half the fun with eating these - you never know what you're gonna get.

Course, the other half of the fun is the looks on people's faces. Come on, you can't tell me none of you have ever even thought about taking a little nibble. I know the forbidden snack urge.

Okay, second rock!

...Smells like coconut, and.

beef???

It's... not great. There's something else going on in there, I'm thinking some kind of tannins, maybe a bit of cilantro? Bits that taste kinda burnt, too. Not to mention the whole kinda tastes watered down, which is just. Not pleasant.

Anyways. Texture is a solid 7/10, but overall flavor is like. 1/10, and honestly I find flavor to be much more important since texture can be changed pretty easily by just eating it differently but flavor is much harder to affect. Overall, first one gets a 2/10 on flavor for at least having an interesting outer layer and second one gets a 1/10.

Thank you for sharing! I haven't had these before. Also, thank you for being the guinea pig for this blog - I now have a much better idea of how to set things up and what kind of rules to put in place. Asks will be off for a bit while I get things set up.

And because my legal team has advised me as such, I need to tell y'all not to eat rocks. Apparently most people who are Not Me have a Bad Time if they eat "non-food" items, and it seems like rocks and minerals fall under that outside of some exceptions.

They have also advised me to remind everyone here that I am not a geologist. I don't know jack shit about rocks beyond some basic laymen's information, I just like eating them.