Creatively Bankrupt Writing

your food, @themightyneptune 🤲

grace does Not Know how to deal with this he has not interacted with ppl in Years

i enjoy the headcanon that simon is selectively mute at first,,, man is traumatized and doesn't really believe this is all real yet </3

transcript in case my handwriting sucks lol vvv

And the guy's dead wife is there. At the ghost DMV. The dead wife is a ghost and he's the ONLY ghost who knows he's a ghost. In the ghost DMV. You make friends with the guy's dead wife (while waiting in line) (at the ghost DMV) and he tells you that the lunatic immortal wizard who's making you defeat his seven evil bureaucratic processes while you die of magic cancer before you can even fight him directly is really just a silly sentimental fella.

Then in the next expansion you get to live through the dead wife flashbacks yourself. You get to meet the dead wife when he's alive in the past, outside of the DMV. And it turns out he works at the real DMV, in the past. And he has pink hair. And he and the past-self version of the insane immortal wizard (who sent you to the ghost DMV) pull off a sick prank to help you close the timeloop.

Just a blurb because we won. Slightly +18 at the ending because I'm a bit unhinged today. Let's gooooo 🇧🇷

- Soap pre-gaming by doing shots and painting his face, unaware of reader lurking in the shadows, face all green and yellow, Brazil jersey on, carrying a bunch of Brazilian flags to place it everywhere on the rec room

- Reader absolutely bringing Brazilian food so the others can have a taste of what it is to be a Brazilian when the national team is playing. There's paçoca, pastel de queijo, coxinha, pudim and lots of cold beer served in copo americano. Kyle is absolutely diving on the pudim. Soap is reluctantly in love with coxinha, but by the end of the night he ate almost the full tray.

- Soap singing his national anthem at the top of his lungs, reader not wanting to feel behind just scream cries Brazil's national anthem even louder than him. Ghost considered retiring right there, rolling his eyes at the screaming match.

- When the Brazilian team scores the first goal, reader just jumps all over the room, screaming Vini Jr's name like a possessed being and saying Brazil is going to walk over Scotland. Soap is pouting like a little kid. "Shu' up, lass. It's not even ten minutes in", he says, and starts cheering like he is motivating his team.

- When Brazil's second goal was disallowed, Soap laughed at reader's face. Reader just threw a paçoca inside his mouth. "Excuse me, how many times Scotland won the world championship?" reader scoffed. A few minutes later, Brazil scored again, valid this time, and reader tackled Soap to the ground, laughing at his face, "What did you say again?".

- By the time Brazil scored the third goal, Soap was in an awful sour mood, his comfort being the tray of coxinhas that reader made. While he pouted on the couch, reader was jumping around the room, singing and screaming. "É, em 58 foi Pelé! Em 62 foi o Mané! Em 70 o esquadrão..."

- After Kyle, John and Simon left them alone, reader just took the tray from Soap's hand. "Don't be a sore loser, Johnny baby. It's just a game.", reader smiled, going to sit on his lap, their fingers working Johnny's pout until he was giving a little smile, "much better, love"

- Johnny's eyes turning black the second his arms crossed around reader's waist. "I think it's my time to score now", he smirked.

- Johnny pounding reader within an inch of their life, and just out of spite making reader recite the years Brazil won the world cup, an orgasm for each title.

- He was still being a little salty by the defeat, so he purposefully came all over reader's jersey. Reader almost threw him off the window, mad that he stained their brand new shirt. He just smiled, "who said Scotland didn't scored against Brazil?"

- By the time Soap finished with reader, he slapped their ass three times, "one for each goal your little team scored, now your legs sure feel weaker than Neymar's" he laughed, reader didn't. Reader threw a paçoca at his head.

“No age gap??!?!?”

“And no non-con elements”

“NO NON CON?”

“And no coercion or otherwise manipulative behaviors”

“Joe they want a vampire with NOTHING”