I Like Birds That Follow Bats.

Loki: No. Thor: Why? You think I'm better at jerking off than you?

I have back problems and I can tell you, IT SUCKS.

1. At the beginning of episode 4, right after he is separated from sylvie the guards pull him a bit too roughly. He trips a bit and shuts his eyes.

2. When he is pulled out of his chair following his interrogation with Mobius, when he calls him a liar, he once again shuts his eyes at the sudden movement. It also looks like he needs to be lifted by force as he can’t seem to do it himself.

This is straight up me, every morning, trying to get out of bed.

But. Thanos kills Loki—in a painful, personal way—and says “no resurrections this time.” And now Loki, pretty fresh off his original encounter with Thanos, tells the Time-Keepers that he’s been killed so many times he’s lost count.

this post proposing the “spinal trauma” theory in general

actually does collapse a little bit the second time B-15 uses the time-twister on him in episode 1, not totally sure why but “already in lots of pain” is as good a reason as any!

it also really seems to hurt when he zaps himself back into the time theater in episode 1; he even uses the table to help himself stand up

the end of the fight in episode 2, where he has a very strong reaction–complete with more of the hard blinking that @l-1130 noticed!–to being flung around (by the neck, I think??) and landing badly (edit: now with additional personal testimony!)

honestly I think that might be my favorite (non-singing) line in all of steven universe because it makes my imagine the craziest/best presidential term in U.S. history.

“Mr. Universe, many republicans are claiming that your birth certificate was faked and that you are an illegal alien. What would you say to these allegations?”

“Well definitely not illegal, but I am an alien.”

“you were born outside of the country?”

“no, I was born here”

“then how are you an alien?”

“I mean a literal alien, from outer space. My mother and guardians are all aliens.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Well I’m half alien anyway. I thought we made that clear from early on in the campaign?”

(conspiracy theorists have a field day)

“Madam President, why is your husband carrying a huge crystal disc out onto the white house lawn?”

“oh, that’s a warp pad, It lets Gems travel around”

“Isn’t that a security issue?”

“Well only gems can use it, and the only gems on the planet right now are friendly”

(the secret service has their work cut out for them)

and then theres other things- like the time the president and her husband combined into one person at a state dinner. Or how the president is ridiculously badass with a sword. Or how the fist gentleman has five (or possibly six?) adoptive mothers. Or that time the president, her husband, and an insane eldritch monstrosity defended Washington DC from an alien spaceship. (approval ratings skyrocketed)

“What should we do, Madam President?”

The President contemplates a large map. Pushes her glasses (lenses tinted but with no correction) up her nose. Stands. “There’s no choice; we send in the big guns. We send in my husband.”

The table glances out the window to see a balding middle-aged man in sandals laughing while he plays frisbee with a pink lion. “Are… are you sure that’s… wise, ma’am?”

“It is extreme. But it’s our only chance.”

Two weeks later, the postcard arrives. Steven has his arms over the shoulders of the two warring foreign leaders, one of whom is laughing at a joke the other is telling. They are surrounded by shelter puppies.

she personally rewrites every history textbook for accuracy and revises math curriculums to be less nonsensical she works very closely with Dr. Maheswaran to get the Health curriculum right and make school lunches better

Garnet worried the Secret Service at first but then they learned about her future vision and it really helps them plan President Maheswaran’s trips

not that they really get to help much considering that after the novelty of Air Force 1 wore off the president and her husband began traveling exclusively by giant pink lion

they learned to be more wary of Amethyst who will transform into random things just to freak them out

Heh, it’s kinda funny that when someone’s shooting fire at Zuko, a firebender, he doesn’t try to fight back, with his own fire, he just shields his fa—oh.

OH.

[at the watchtower]

Clark: I'm having some problems with Kon.

Bruce: [grunts]

Clark: how do YOU handle an argument with one of your kids?

Bruce: depends

Clark: on?

Bruce: which kid

Bruce: If I yell at Jason or Stephanie they get angry, argue and storm off. But if I'm right, they usually realise once they've calmed down.

Clark: how long does that take?

Bruce: normally between five days and five months.

Clark: ...ok. So, what about the other kids?

Bruce: Dick and Duke both answer well to me calmly explaining what I'm angry about. Cass listens without a fuss. Damian is furious but he lives with me so he can't do much about it.

Clark: what about when you argue with Barbara and Tim?

Bruce: I don't.

Clark: but when you do? Actually didn't you say you had a disagreement with both of them this weekend?

Bruce: ...

{that week}

-Monday-

Batman: [turns on the Batmobile]

Speakers: [at an extreme volume] BABY SHARK DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO MOMMY-

-Tuesday-

Bruce: [in a board meeting, pulling up a presentation]

Bruce: so as you can see on this projection-

Powerpoint: [violently] DADDY SHARK DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO

-Wednesday-

Damian: [hands over his ears] FATHER! Make this infernal noise stop at once!

Bruce: [frantically searching through the manor] I'M TRYING

Screeching from an unknown location: GRANDMA SHARK DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO

-Thursday-

Bruce: [drinking coffee and reading the morning paper]

On the Radio: And here's a special request for "B", with a message that says: "apologise, you coward".

Radio: GRANDPA SHARK DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO

-Friday-

Bruce: [sipping champagne at a Gala]

The host: Thank you for all your generous donations, and now, a video message from the children.

Screen: [shows images and videos of children from one of Gothams orphanages]

Also Screen: LET'S GO HUNT DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO-DO

-

Bruce: [shudders]

Bruce: Barbara and Tim usually know that I'm right and apologise.

Clark: usually?

Bruce: sometimes we disagree

Clark: and then what-

Bruces cellphone: [blares to life] BABY-

Bart: So Tim is gonna call himself Drake now because it’s the most dangerous bird in the world.

Cassie: Like your actual name? That’s so dangerous.

Jinny: Also wrong. The most dangerous bird is a cassowary!

Bart: oh that’s even better Tim call yourself the cassowary.

Tim: It’s too long.

Bart: How about Hawk?

Tim: There are too many Hawks already.

Bart: Blue Jay.

Tim: Nightwing is already blue. And Jay sounds too much like Jason.

Bart: Robin.

Tim: We did that.

Bart: Nuts!

Kon: Oh! That one.