Boy Wonder

Do you think gothamites in-universe singe ‘jingle bells batman smells?’

currently thinking about Bruce Wayne ending up with custody of a totally normal, completely non-traumatized kid who has no acrobatic experience and no unquenchable thirst for justice, and everyone in the manor going to absolutely ridiculous lengths to stop them from finding out about the whole batman thing so they can Keep Them That Way. they all claim they feel bad for lying but the batfam group chat has been renamed to 'batlight batkeep batboss' and someone procured a trophy that goes to whoever pulled the funniest stunt each week to keep the kid in the dark

whoever comes closest to blowing their cover each week is on superhero laundry duty

actually the idea that Dick, the eldest, the only one who ever wore the cowl long term, the only one who raised a Robin on his own, is also the only one who can successfully, perfectly replicate that barked ROBIN! in Bruce's voice? the only one who can pull that exact tone from the depths of his soul, to the point where his voice is identical, so identical that old Robins like Jason are obeying before their minds even realize their bodies are moving? that Dick is the only one, has always been the only one, who can channel Bruce's voice? can channel Batman himself? I am going feral