if qui gon had been anakin’s master, anakin prob wouldn’t have gone to the dark side. not necessarily bc he’d been a better master, but bc obi wan would be the cool older bro he’d sneak out w and confide in instead of the fake father figure he felt the constant need to rebel against. ‘palpatine has been asking me to spend time with him…’ ‘NEVER trust a politician. wait, hold. why the kriff is a decrepit thing like him trying to hang out w a 12 year old’ ‘I’m in love w padme. I want to get married!’ ‘u still have a rat tail’

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

re-watching the original trilogy is great because you really get a sense for how weird luke skywalker is, just how quickly he becomes that weird AND how quickly he commits to it. Like he's honestly pretty chill in a new hope, but the absolute INSTANT he figures out he can move shit with his mind he goes full send on the cryptic off-putting bullshit. Walking around in full black robes, speaking in riddles, aura farming and backflipping whenever physically possible. He's clearly annoyed when he first meets yoda in empire, but he dismisses that pretty quickly in favour of ALSO becoming an over-dramatic space wizard. The combination of his two teachers being yoda and obi-wan kenobi and him being the son of anakin and padme creates the single most intense and fundamentally kind force sensitive perfectly embodying the heart of the jedi order whilst also serving egregious amounts of cunt and being bizarre to be around. He would have THRIVED as a jedi master during the high republic. he would have been every padawan's favourite and every other master's worst nightmare

rots crack/fix-it au where somebody in the senate spread a rumour that palpatine was senile but anakin takes it very seriously. they’re at the opera and palpatine is all like “my boy, have i ever told you the tale of darth plagueis the wise?” preparing to be all evil but anakin is like “i don’t believe you have, your excellency” y’know in that tone that people speak ~encouragingly~ to kids and old people? palpatine is like ‘,:| not thinking too hard on it and continues his tale, but by the end anakin is like “wow, that sounds mighty interesting, your excellency. it’s getting late, why don’t we start heading home?” and palpatine’s evil plan is foiled because anakin believed he was an old man not fully in charge of all of his faculties, ending with a vote of no confidence

the difference between Haymitch and Katniss's narration is so funny. Haymitch would give us everyone's social security number if he knew them, while Katniss wouldn't even tell us her mom's name.

being a tumblr user is fun : the staff look like they're trying their hardest to kill the platform, half of the internet thinks we're dead, the other half reblogs our posts on pinterest, and we celebrate the murder of julius caesar every year.

big shout out to tumblr for being the first major site in like two years to implement an ill-advised "feature" nobody wants, likes or respects that doesn't involve AI