keep smiling

He can’t conceivably escape her wrath and he doesn’t aim to but that doesn’t mean he can’t somehow soften the blow. Direct is the best path he can think of. Rather than let her find out on her own or, heaven forbid and he gets in worse trouble, someone else, Rome searches for Sunny himself, biting back a laugh to himself that she’s more difficult to find because of her petite stature. When he does so to her face, it’s with affection. Her height is an endearing trait and he thinks it adds to her charm. Charisma that flows when she dances is more captivating when you consider her height and how she maneuvers her body with powerful surges of motion. 

Sunny tells a story with her dancing and he admires it deeply. It’s exactly the type of dancing he wishes he could improve on, reminding him of Dabin’s style. He’d attempted it a few times and can only hope to get better but the sling on his arm deters those plans, including plans to invite her to try out a new routine with him because her input is valuable to him since they met. Entering the company at the same time had made her a comrade of convenience and choice but a choice he felt he didn’t need to make because it occurs with ease. Friendship with her is easy compared to what he expected when signing with the company, especially when the fact that he’s with Nova is further proof he didn’t accept the offer from Sphere. 

losing herself in the small crowd of trainees is easy -- with her height in comparison to everyone else, it’s difficult to look for her in a group.  but somehow, the people who know her always manage to track her down even in the largest crowds and sunny looks up to a familiar voice calling her name.  rome was signed for training around the time that sunny was, and almost instantly -- they clicked.  she’s never had a hard time talking to other people, but with the trainees who were still as fresh faced as she was almost a year ago, it seemed ten times as easy to bond despite the inherent sense of competition she was warned about.  bright eyes look around her as she attempts to see past shoulders and heads until finally, sunny finds him with a smile on her lips --  

“ooh, we have a bad ass over here,” min said with a laugh. though it was true. on a dance team, no one could be certain with what shoe wear would be bestowed upon them next. boots were a common theme as were sneakers but to serve up more sass and ass, heels were sometimes a favourite. and considering sunny’s height, she knew damn well sunny was used to a height higher than her own by now thanks to the routines. “but i know what you mean.”

“ that’s right, you don’t want to mess with me.” sunny says in a fake haughty tone, dropping her hand and wrapping it again around her legs.  “ i don’t think a lot of people in nova knew about it, though.  that i was on a team.” not that many of the trainees had ever asked her much about it, but sunny just shrugs her shoulders with a small grin. “ i’ll just have to surprise them when i show them up in my killer heels, huh?”

“you’re super cute, noona.” seokjin’s grin is wide, flashing teeth and pleased with himself. “you’ll have to tell me everything later. it’s good to see you smiling.” he had worried for her, seemingly stuck in a rut the last time they had spoken and someone putting a smile on her face put a smile on his as well. sunny deserved good things, nice people that make her risk texting during breaks just because they make her happy.

regardless, he’s just teasing her a little and sunny rolls her eyes -- it’s a playful gesture; she’s not really that mad, even if she does disapprove of the setting they’re in when he asks her so plainly.  “ i’m not being super cute.  he’s an asshole.” she mutters, keeping her head down and tucking the cell phone further under her leg. “ i don’t think there’s much to tell, so don’t get your hopes up if you’re thinking it’s going to be a .. really long story or anything..” she trails off, thinking about if it’d really be a long story or not.  sunny doesn’t think so, but the awkwardness of their situation .. might think otherwise. 

she couldn’t help but look at sunny softly, her lips parting slightly as she loses herself in thought, in remembrance of their time back in new york. brooklyn chick missing with a manhattan gal. they were an interesting mix, both used to the hustle and bustle of the boroughs. and they were stuck like glue.

there was a reason why they were so close. they were opposites in what seemed to be every sense of the way. but subtly, they’re similar. they work in a good way that best friends should. they weren’t perfect, just perfect for each other, it seemed.

min’s eyes looked for the instructor, pursing her lips in thought before whispering over to sunny again. “i guess i did.” she wasn’t looking forward to the dinner, nor was she even hungry at this point. everyone was pissy. people were angry at others for certain positions given. min had already gotten into an argument or two with others who were jealous that she was “taking the spotlight”. in the end, what she wanted to do was bolt out of there. but the dinner was mandatory.

and it’s no small wonder, after all.  they’ve known each other for seven years and counting.

she can’t help but look over at min in concern, however, because she “ forgot” the dinner.  a brow is raised in her obvious curiosity, her questions -- it’s a mandatory event for the company.  how could she forget? “ did you really just forget, or ..?” she whispers, eyes narrowing in suspicion.  sunny knows that it’s not something in their schedules that you can just blow off with ease.  there’s still some form of expectation .. maybe something is simmering below the surface that she just hasn’t seen.  something she doesn’t know about.  “ you gonna tell me what’s going on or do i have to poke it out of you at dinner tonight?”

in her heart, sunny knows that min will find her threat serious -- she even pulls out an index finger in a threatening manner and jabs it in her direction to prove it.  “ if something was wrong, you’d tell me .. wouldn’t you?” even though there’s so much work to be done, she feels bad for not seeing it if there’s been a problem.  they’re best friends.  she should just know.

more than anything, he’d like to believe it was his fault. that he shouldn’t have touched the spinning wheel like sleeping beauty, a curse remaining at the ends of his fingertips. naive and young, a beyond too curious like the story of a the curious cat, turned to a tragedy. pieces of his heart shattered easily like a fragile glass, scars and wounds needing to be patched up.

to be with someone you could never have yet crave for them, he brought destruction onto himself. nobody to blame. so, in the end, he was to blame. after all, it’s a requirement to be responsible for your actions.

certainly, if it wasn’t fear that drastically depleted the sources of optimism of their bond, maybe they wouldn’t have been suffering just like this. hurtful words, all tied with sheer anger and laced with metal to pierce hearts—the wounds he thought that were going to heal, only to be cut deeper with aggression. it hurts. it hurts. they were never together in the first place, so why did it hurt like hell? when he was told what a heartbreak could do to you, his mother was right. he didn’t want to believe it was true. the epitome he thought of love was pure, but reality isn’t the most kindest.

but what’s broken can be reforged. luhan, a sucker for love, remaining to hold on to a thin line.

surprisingly, he didn’t find the effort to change his passcode. regardless, sunny was one of the few that knew. it was obvious not to give it out to too many people, otherwise, he’d been a damned dumbass to do so ( getting robbed and whatnot ). under the presumption, he was going to be greeted with a warm greeting, he’s purely wrong. instead, he heard a regular knock. the expression of his face looked dull, he undid the lock and opened the door.

they’re trying to fix every shard of glass and bad blood that has spilled between them.

her eyes scan the door and sunny wonders what it is that’s taking him so long -- this was his idea after all; surely he wouldn’t have forgotten that she was to come today.  the smile that she’s been so keen on keeping falls from her lips and sunny’s looking down to feet scuffing at the porch, tucking a wisp of hair that fell loose from her braid behind her ear.  her hair’s grown much longer since she last saw luhan; a testament to the time they’ve really spent apart -- or rather, the time they’ve grown apart.

but finally, the door opens and it’s luhan staring at her with his wide eyes -- everything about him is familiar, aside from the expression.  it’s dull, and never in her life had sunny seen it in his eyes.

biting back the trepidation sunny already feels, she smiles in spite of herself.  remember: you’re here to fix everything.  “ are you going to let me in?” she teases, trying to keep the tightness of her worries from her voice.  the smile on her lips is calm and sunny’s pleased with herself for even managing it -- with the time they’ve spent all these months fighting more than being friends, it’s hard to imagine facing luhan with a smile .. yet here she is.  he’s a friend first.  she’s got to remind herself of that despite the worry and the cheek’s she’s been biting raw.

              “but i’m an angel, mama. that’s my name.” she protested, her lower lip jutted out to pout. she batted her eyelashes at sunny, trying to catch her mother’s affection. “i’m a death reaper kind of angel. they have those in heaven you know?” at hearing the sentence “you’re making generalizations”, she raises a brow. “oh really? i’m making generalisations, mama? i just care about you.” she can’t help but frown, her arms crossed together. “fine fine, since it’s a request from mummy, i’ll go let loose a little and have some fun.”

she pauses for a moment, the bleak sigh that escapes her lips just a prelude to a smile.  sunny brushes jieun’s hair back and nods quietly, dropping her hands into her lap. “ i know it is.  but that’s the thing about reapers -- they know when to show mercy.” she lightly chides her -- hoping for a moment that she’ll understand, that she’ll realize that her behaviour is going to alienate everyone around them.  sunny snorts, still bemused at the thought of jieun acting as security to someone much older and shakes her head. “ i know you do." she knows exactly what jieun is letting on to -- how every experience she’s had with men end up somehow putting a jagged line in her, and sunny smiles ruefully. “ but bad experiences help you learn.  they set you up for something better.” she leans in to jieun a little to whisper in her ear. “ and if you’re glaring at all the boys, we won’t be able to tell the real princes from the frogs, will we?  you’ll learn it .. when you’re older.” sunny pulls back and the last words of her speech are clipped, almost uncomfortable.  

( @rksvnny )

// january 2010. new york, united states of america.

there wasn’t a white christmas in los angeles ( unless you’d go up in the mountains, but he wasn’t at the proper age to drive. nobody would take him since everyone else he knew was busy with their winter break since it is after all, the holidays ). well, it was already far too late to celebrate christmas in the first place. but, luhan was yet to go back to school. he had about another two weeks before he’d return to hell.

new york was peaceful, until he got himself into some serious shit like long distance relationships. some girl who was obsessed with him couldn’t stop stalking him. he had been in new york for a few days now, the girl wouldn’t stop sliding in his dms even right after he blocked her each and every single time. like, honestly. who had the time to do something crazy? apparently, she did.

and, there was a reason why this girl was an ex. she needs to be ex-terminated out of his life pronto. asap.

but there wasn’t much to do because he was living the carefree life of being single. however, asking some stranger to be his pretend girlfriend was a completely weird request but.. it was a matter of life and death for luhan. he chose to trust his guts this time ( you live or don’t ).

gathering the courage to talk to the girl, he furthered eye contact with her. the sixteen year old cleared his throat and spoke up in english, “hello.. this is a lot to ask. i’m sorry if i’m wasting your time, but there’s this crazy ex-girlfriend of mine and she can’t leave me alone.” he was captivated by the beauty of this woman—his cheeks were bright red to the point it was evident. so, he averted his gaze from her’s and looked down. “it’s just, i can’t get her off me. she’s crazy.” he ruffled his hair nervously, beginning to stammer, “m.. my name is.. luhan by the way.”

winter is a time for star crossed lovers finding warmth in the arms of each other.  the weather outside is the coldest its ever been, but lee soonkyu always manages to find some reserve of fire deep within herself -- it is the idea that she’ll always go back home to a mother who loves her, and a boyfriend who adores her as if on his hands and knees.  never did she think she could be happier than when dancing, but somehow, han jiwon makes her feel it.  he kindles the sun’s flares and the curve of her lips when she smiles. 

her feet carefully trod in new york’s winter snows as she hangs up the phone with gloved fingers and slips it into her pocket.  the remnants of her smile could light up the cold and gray day; the clouds pregnant with the winter weather only bound to part a little to let rays of light shine through.  a girl in love can do that.  

there’s a few minutes of spare time between her first job and volunteering at the studio before heading off to her second job and sunny’s half tempted to run off into one of the cafes close by for a coffee and maybe a sandwich to snack on since she doesn’t have the time to run home beforehand.  she’s contemplating the money in her purse and the pennypincher in her wonders if she can spare it only to be distracted by a voice as soft as the whisper of the chilly breeze through the sparse trees.  

sunny smiles a little, warm and inviting at the stranger who has interrupted her thoughts -- he looks a little shy.  she encourages him with a greeting of her own because he looks nervous and she doesn’t want to make him more so.  “ are you okay?” she raises her brows, only to hear him continue his request.  her eyes scan the snowy trees for anyone that could be following the poor kid and she frowns a little, suddenly feeling a little protective -- she can’t help it.  it’s just how she is, and this is just something that jiwon will laugh about later and tell her she’s too nice.  but he looks genuinely disturbed, and this isn’t a joke so sunny sighs and looks back to him. “ is she here right now?”